


Fixing a Hole

by Ultra



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Help, Kissing, Making Up, Rebuilding, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-06-24 09:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 60,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15627282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: Rory is having a hard time with Logan’s new life and her parents getting married. She’s feeling a little mixed up and looking for some help to get back on track, so she turns to the guy that helped her out the last time, but is Jess going to come through after what happened at Truncheon last year? [Starts in 7.8 'Introducing Lorelai Planetarium' and goes AU]





	1. Chapter 1

The email was written, she just had to hit send. Rory’s finger hovered over the mouse button but didn’t click yet. She had to be crazy. This was not a good idea at all. It was only going to make matters worse, she was sure on that, and yet somewhere inside of her, a voice said she was wrong.

This was how to fix things, get the perspective she badly needed. It might be selfish of her, expecting him to fix things for her after before, but fixing things was what he always did. She couldn’t think of anyone else who could do it.

Taking a deep breath, Rory stopped her inner argument and just pressed send. Too late to change her mind now, the email was gone. Jess was about to get all her latest news, a handful of worried thoughts, and a copy of an article she had thought was great, at least until Logan read it. All this she had prefaced with an apology, one that had been too long in being written. She only hoped that Jess would understand.

* * *

Jess was about to turn off the computer when a pinging sound alerted him to the fact he had received an email. He couldn’t imagine who would be writing to him at one in the morning. Only crazy people were up this late, as proven by the fact he had been sat at his desk all this time, typing away like the nut he was. Out of idle curiosity, he clicked on the envelope icon, and his eyes went a little wide when he saw the sender’s name sat in his inbox - Rory Gilmore.

The email was right there, he just had to hit open. Jess’ finger hovered over the mouse button but didn’t click yet. He had to be crazy. This was not a good idea at all. It was only going to make matters worse, he was sure on that, and yet somewhere inside of him a voice said he was wrong.

This might be an apology or an explanation. It might seem selfish, but he was almost hoping it would be a message saying she and the blond dick were over, that she made a terrible mistake and wanted Jess back instead. It probably wasn’t, and maybe he should just delete it unread and go to bed.

Taking a deep breath, Jess stopped his inner argument and just pressed open. Too late to change his mind now, the email was there before him, complete with attachment, the title of which intrigued him if nothing else. His eyes shot to the opening ramble, and he read the first words he had received from Rory since the night he kissed her only to have her walk out the door.

Dear Jess,

I really hope you’re reading this and haven’t just deleted it the moment you saw it was from me. I couldn’t blame you if that’s what you did, but I really don’t think you’re that kind of guy, at least you never were. You’ve changed some, I know that, we all have, I guess, but I still think you’re probably reading this, so let me start with the most important thing - I’m sorry.

Just in case you’re wondering exactly what I’m apologising for, I’m more than willing to explain. I treated you badly, but you know that. You called me on it and you were right to.

I don’t regret coming to Philadelphia, seeing where you work and all, I really don’t. Truncheon is amazing, I am so proud of what you’ve achieved, and it was so wonderful to see you. What I regret is leading you on the way I did. That was so wrong, Jess, and I am so unbelievably sorry for that. It’s not that I don’t care about you, or that I didn’t want you to kiss me the way you did. The truth is, I think that was exactly what I wanted, even though I knew it was wrong.

Me and Logan, it’s so complicated sometimes. I guess all relationships are that way, I mean, ours certainly always was, but this is a different kind of complicated. I told you that day that I loved him and that’s as true now as it was then, but sometimes I wonder if it’s enough. It wasn’t enough for you and me, it should’ve been, but it wasn’t. Way back in high school, I was sure Dean was the guy I would love forever, and then I felt the same about you. Now there’s Logan and it should be the same. If anything, it should feel more real because I’m an adult now and I should have a better handle on what I’m feeling, but I don’t, Jess. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Things have been weird for a while, and then I wrote this article. I’m attaching it to this email and I really hope you’ll read it and give me your opinion. It makes sense to me, everything I’ve said in it, every carefully chosen word and phrase. A lot of it was supposed to be jokes, a sarcastic sort of commentary, nothing truly mean and nasty. Logan is taking it that way. I’ve told him he has it all wrong, but now I’m not so sure anymore. Maybe I am attacking him and all the people like him, but if I am, I don’t really know why.

Though it’s not my own, I’ve been living on a trust fund for a good long while now. I don’t pay rent at Logan’s place, I never have, and I don’t really know how it never occurred to me why that was wrong. You would never have let me be this person, this strange high society version of myself that would belong more in that room my grandma designed for me than at home.

If you were here, I know you’d tell me I was being so stupid, that there’s nothing wrong with my article because it’s honest and real. At least, I think that’s what you would say. I guess if I knew for sure, I wouldn’t be asking you like this. Tell me if I’m wrong, Jess, please? I feel like I just don’t know anymore.

A part of me thinks I’ve just let out my anger and confusion in my article when really it should be aimed at my mom and dad. They got back from Paris two days ago and then they go ahead and tell me they got married! In France! Without me! I’m so mad at them, even though a part of me is happy. I mean, you know how much I always wanted my family unit, even though Dad has never exactly been reliable. It was the dream for such a long time, and I am happy, but at the same time, I guess I’m thinking about Luke.

Do you talk to him at all? Do you miss him? I do, even though I’m living much closer to him than you are. It’s all so different since he and my mom broke up. Like I said, I love how happy my parents seem, but I was very happy with Mom and Luke together too. It’s all so different now. Everything is much too different, and in six months it’s all going to shift again. I’ll be done with Yale, moving on into real life, and honestly, it scares me to death.

I don’t know how to do it, Jess. I don’t know how to live in the world the way you do. My plan was Chilton and then Harvard or Yale. After that, I’m a little fuzzy. I know it’s wrong and selfish, but I really do wish you were here to tell me I can do it, that I’m going to be okay. Where’s the guy who offered to have me stand in the middle of the street and drive straight at me, screaming in a foreign language? I know I have no right to, but I miss him, a lot.

It’s so late, I really should stop here. A part of me thinks it’s wrong to even send this and I might delete it yet. If you’re reading this then I obviously sent it. It’s so weird getting this far in a message and seriously considering never having its intended recipient see it.

Of course, if I do send it, you might still delete it without ever knowing what I wrote, but like I said before, I still don’t think you would ever be that guy.

I hope things are good with you, Jess. That you’re really happy in your work and your life. You deserve so many good things and so much success. I know you never think you do, but I know better on that at least.

Love, Rory.

Jess finished reading, hardly noticing the sad smile that had come over his lips until his hands ran unconsciously over his face and chin. He had pretty much forgiven Rory her sins the moment she walked out his door, or at the very least, by the next morning when the hangover had subsided. That woman could mess with his head like nobody else, and yet he was the bigger fool, because he let her do it every time.

He didn’t know how to feel about her email. The apology was to be accepted, without question. Jess knew he could never do anything else. As to her issues with the boyfriend, having an opinion on that, or at least one to share with Rory, that could be highly dangerous.

Jess would read the article though and then give his honest and frank opinion. Maybe he could be just as honest about Lorelai’s marriage, but Jess had a feeling the more important part of getting that news was that he needed to call Luke. He couldn’t know for sure if his uncle was aware of the wedding yet, but he would be soon if he wasn’t already. Stars Hollow had a gossip mill that operated faster than jungle drums, and no matter what, Luke was going to be hurting. Besides, Jess owed him a check-in call anyway.

Well past one in the morning, Jess knew his call to Luke would have to wait, but his bed shouldn’t. His hand went to the lid of the laptop to close it and yet it never quite happened. A moment’s consideration and then he was opening up the attachment to Rory’s email, an article entitled ‘Let Them Drink Cosmos’. Jess smirked at the title, and then he began reading. He wouldn’t stop until he reached the very last word, and still he wouldn’t go to sleep.

Hammering away on the keys, he started a replying email to his ex-girlfriend, at two in the morning, partially because he had to be crazy, and partially because it was Rory Gilmore, which meant he just really didn’t have a choice.


	2. Chapter 2

“Luke’s Diner.”

“Hey, it’s Jess.”

“Jess, hey, how are you doing?” said Luke.

There was a smile in his voice that Jess could just hear and that made him smile too.

“I’m doing okay,” he assured his uncle. “I just thought I should call, check in, you know? This is the third time though, it was just ringing out before. You been that busy?”

“Yes and no,” Luke explained. “It wasn’t the diner, I was at the hospital, with April.”

“Geez, is she okay?”

“She’s fine now, but it was pretty scary for a while there, I don’t mind telling you. Appendicitis.”

“Damn, that’s not cool. Well, you tell that little cousin of mine that I said ‘hi’ and I hope she feels better.”

“Will do. So, just checking in, huh?”

“Pretty much. You doing okay, aside from the kid with the appendix issues?”

Jess didn’t want to be too obvious. As much as he believed in saying what needed to be said whenever possible, it seemed a little too on the nose to actually ask how Luke was feeling about Lorelai’s recent marriage to Christopher Hayden. There was every chance that Luke didn’t even know about that yet if he had been holed up in the hospital with April, but given that he was in Stars Hollow, there was also every chance that he did know.

“I’m doing okay,” Luke promised. “Although I do appreciate the concern. Business is good, April’s fine in every way that’s not related to her appendix, and all is quiet on the Stars Hollow front.”

“Huh.”

Jess really wasn’t sure what else he could say after that, apart from bringing up the topic he wasn’t sure how to broach. He had kind of hoped that Luke would mention it, even though that was unlikely. Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to summon up the right words, which ought to be easy for a writer, and yet. Hell, if Rory had the guts to email him the way she had after the way they left things last year, Jess should probably be able to talk to his own uncle about Lorelai.

“You see much of Lorelai lately?” he tried, wincing at his own question, especially when he heard Luke sigh.

“She actually helped me out with April with figuring out what was wrong, because I didn’t have a clue.”

“So, you guys are friendly again?”

“I don’t know what we are but... well, I know she’s married, to Christopher.”

He practically growled when he said the other guy’s name and Jess couldn’t blame him. Lorelai’s first love was probably the only person in the world that was competition for Luke, at least as far as Jess could tell. First loves were tough to beat, he ought to know. He was still struggling with feelings for his, and he owed her an email too.

“Hey, did you know about that?” said Luke then. “No, of course you didn’t, how could you?” he muttered in reply to his own question. “So, how’re things in Philly? Your book place still doing well?”

Jess opened his mouth to confess but then decided he may as well take the easy out that Luke was giving him. His uncle believed there was no way for him to know about Lorelai’s marriage so it was probably best to leave it that way. No matter what, Luke clearly didn’t want to talk about it anyway, he only wanted to hear about Jess and Truncheon and a potential sequel idea for The Subsect. Jess was happy enough to share for the next few minutes, and then Luke had to go back to work.

Hanging up the phone, Jess ran a hand over his face and turned back to his computer. He had written the original reply to Rory’s email in the small hours of yesterday morning and over the course of the day, last night, and this morning he had redrafted several times. Giving it one last read now, Jess was sure he couldn’t make it any better, and he hovered the cursor over ‘Send.’

“Be a man already,” he told himself, forcing his pointer finger to click, and the email was gone.

* * *

Rory was becoming obsessed with checking her email. It was getting ridiculous. She must have logged in at least thirty times in the last two days, just waiting and hoping for a reply from Jess. There was no guarantee he even planned on sending a reply. He could’ve deleted her email without ever reading it or he might’ve read it then decided not to respond.

Rory hated the not knowing, hated the waiting, hated herself for putting Jess in this position and herself as well. She was about to swear off checking her email for at least the rest of the day when suddenly there it was.

From: Jess Mariano, Subject: Re: Long Time, No Talk

With a shaking hand that she couldn’t really explain, Rory moved the cursor onto the email, clicking to open it. She almost forgot to breathe as she began to read.

 

Rory,

I’m not really sure where to start with this. I guess it’s good to hear from you. Whatever else happens, you know I care about you and I want you to be happy. If things aren’t so great and you need somebody to talk to, then I guess I’m flattered that you chose me. Better that than you ending up living at your grandparents’ house and joining the DAR, right?

Thanks for telling me about your parents. I know you were looking for advice and a shoulder when you wrote about it, but at least it gave me the heads up in case Luke needed to talk, because yes, we do keep in touch. If you’re happy your mom married your dad then good for you, Ror, I can’t blame you for that. For kids like us, the parents reuniting was always the dream, right? I know it sucks you didn’t get to be there, but take the win, we don’t all get that.

I hope it all works out, for your sake most of all, but you have to know that I’m with Luke on this one. If he’s hurt then that’s not okay. I know you probably feel as torn as anybody about that, but what can you do?

Now I guess there’s no getting around the elephant in the room, so let’s get it over with. What happened here last year, that wasn’t cool, Rory. You used me, and I hated knowing that you could ever do that. I have to admit, you saying you loved that idiot you were dating hurt more than anything, but that doesn’t matter now. I know you’re sorry, I knew it the second you said it the first time, stood right there in front of me with the tears and all. After everything you’ve forgiven me for, I can let this one go.

I said at the time I didn’t deserve it, but after everything I put you through, maybe we did finally even the scale that day. It is what it is, you and me. It kind of feels like a big cosmic joke sometimes, or at least it does to me. I guess the point I’m trying to make here is we’re okay. Despite everything, I’m glad you emailed me. Like I said, it’s good to know that you feel like you can, and more so that you wanted to. For what it’s worth, I miss you too.

Anyway, I read the article. That’s some fine writing, Miss Gilmore, but I know that you know that yourself already. Probably even the blond dick will admit to that much, though I can see why the content has him so mad. You kind of skewered the upper class, Ror, but I can’t blame you for that. You said what you said because it was true, every word. Journalism should be honest. A lot isn’t, but it always should be, we both know that. You’ve been honest and you’ve written it in a way that would make Fran Leibowitz proud. What more could you do?

You know, I don’t mind you asking my opinion on your writing. I am an editor and publisher after all, and we’re friends, so it’s cool, but please, do not come to me with your relationship problems. You know what I think of Huntzberger and I’m pretty sure we both know what he thinks of me, so I’m drawing a line under that topic, okay? No go area from here on out, unless you’re telling me you’re done with the guy or you need me to come kick his ass. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it’s got to be if we’re going to do this friends thing.

As for the future, what can I say, Ror? You have a plan, I know you do, and maybe you don’t have every step planned out, but hell, I never did and look at me now. My book, this place, neither thing is exactly going to make me a millionaire, but I’m happy. You just have to find the right next step for you and I know you will. Just don’t sit around waiting for me or your mom or whoever else to tell you what it is. You want to be a journalist, apply to the papers you love. If you want to do something else, that’s fine too, but just get out there and try, Rory. I know you can do it, and you should know it too.

Anyway, that’s enough lecturing from me. Please, stop making me be the adult in the relationship. It really doesn’t work for me.

Take care of yourself, Gilmore.

Jess.

 

Rory started to wonder why the words on the screen were growing fuzzy towards the end of the email. She got her answer as she moved the hand that had been supporting her chin and found tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh, what is wrong with me?” she asked herself, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. “This is ridiculous!” she declared, and yet she couldn’t stop crying.

It wasn’t that Jess had upset her with his words. She completely respected what he said about not mentioning Logan to him anymore and she fully accepted that he had every right to be pissed about what happened at Truncheon last year. It was the nice parts of the email that had her crying happy tears. He forgave her for what she did wrong, he told her that her article was good, and he encouraged her to make the best of her life always. It was everything she needed and infinitely more somehow. Jess just always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better, to make things clear to her. It was why she had emailed him, in part, anyway. Mostly she just missed having him around, way more than she ever thought she could.

Hitting reply, she immediately started on a return email, stopping only a few short sentences in as she heard the apartment door open and turned to see who was there.

“Hey, Paris,” she greeted her with a smile

“Hey, yourself,” her friend replied, giving her a look. “What the hell is wrong with you? Has Huntzberger been here making you feel bad again? Because I will go over there and-”

“Paris, Logan hasn’t been here,” Rory promised.

“Oh. Well, good for him.” Paris nodded, heading into the kitchen area then to put away the groceries she just picked up.

Rory closed the lid on her laptop and wandered over, leaning on the counter.

“I got an email today, from Jess.”

“Mariano finally got his head out of his ass and replied, huh? Bet he liked your article.”

“He did.” Rory nodded in agreement.

“Never cared for the guy’s love of the Beats but he knew good writing in a lot of other ways. Also, even I have to admit he was beyond cute.”

“Yes, he was... he is.”

“You tell him about you and Logan too?” asked Paris curiously.

Rory pushed her hair back behind her ear and shifted awkwardly in place.

“I mentioned that Logan didn’t like the article, which you know, but that’s all really. He doesn’t know I’ve moved out of his place and back here with you.”

“Right.” Paris nodded. “I guess if he knew that it would lead to false hope, like the last time. I mean, you and Logan aren’t exactly broken up, right?”

“We’re not broken up at all,” Rory insisted, already regretting telling Paris about what happened at Truncheon last year and now wondering if she should have mentioned getting back in contact with Jess again too. “You know that it’s not about me and Logan not loving each either, it’s just... I can’t live there anymore. Anyway, regardless of that, Jess is just a friend now.”

“Right, yeah. You and Jess, just friends,” Paris seemed to agree, before she suddenly scoffed. “Like Liz Taylor and Eddie Fisher were just friends,” she declared, rolling her eyes before turning to walk away.

Rory’s mouth opened and closed like a landed bass but she had no words. She loved Paris, but sometimes she was just crazy. Really crazy. Absolutely crazy.

Wasn’t she?


	3. Chapter 3

It took a while before Rory knew what she wanted to write in an email back to Jess. There was so much she could say, probably more that she should say, and yet every time she sat down to type, she hesitated and left it until later. It wasn’t as if she was planning to write because she felt she had to or because he would necessarily be expecting it. They had agreed they could be friends, that they both wanted that, and more or less cleared the air regarding their last meeting in person, and yet, things still felt strange.

Jess was the guy that Rory used to date. She loved him then, she still loved him now, though perhaps in a different way. It was so difficult to define the relationship that had existed between them so long. Friends first and then decidedly more, and now friends again but it was different. It was always so different with the two of them.

Rory shook her head. She was getting nowhere with all her wondering about the past and the future.

“Stick to the present,” she told herself. “Just say what you want to say like you always have with him.”

 

Jess,

Thank you so much for your feedback on my article, it means a lot to me. You’ll be pleased to hear that you can now read the whole thing online! Not that you would need to read it again, obviously, but it is kind of amazing to see my name on a real live website like that. I wrote an article and people all around the world can read it if they want to. Isn’t that great? I can hardly believe it myself, but Hugo, the guy who runs the website, was so impressed. I’m really glad now that I didn’t wimp out and not submit it. I know I would’ve regretted that decision. (I’m adding the link at the end of the email, just so you can see it)

If I’m remembering it right, and I’m pretty sure I am, you couldn’t care less about being cool, but Jess, I have to tell you, I think you’re very cool for encouraging me forward when I needed a push. You’re getting really good at that, mister. Anyway, I really appreciate it, and the fact that you’re even willing to talk to me like this.

Your forgiveness means a lot to me too. You’re right, you did screw up when we were together, but I did too, and what happened last year, well, that was some of my worst behaviour, but it’s over and done now. I won’t say (or should that be type?) another word about it, except to say thank you again, for being so understanding.

I can also promise you that I won’t mention Logan to you anymore. It was dumb of me to think you would want to hear about him after everything. I’m still with him, I need you to know that, so there’s no misunderstandings, I’ve just moved out of his place is all. That’s for other reasons that are too tough to explain without telling you a bunch of stuff you wouldn’t want to hear, but just so you know, I’m living with Paris again now, and Doyle, that’s Paris’ boyfriend. I don’t think you know about him. Anyway, that’s where I am, but still dating Logan. Wow, I’ve really written a lot on a topic that you asked me to avoid. Sorry about that, I promise I’m done now.

I wish I was moving on to happier topics but I guess I’m not. The truth is, I do feel bad about Luke. You know, I was so happy when he and Mom finally got together. I really did want it to work out and for the longest time it seemed like it could. Everything just got so screwed up and I’m pretty sure at least some of it was my fault. I certainly didn’t make anybody’s life easier last year, did I? I guess some of it was the discovery of April too, not that I blame her at all. I don’t know her well but she seems like a cool kid. Any daughter of Luke’s has got to be pretty special, huh?

Things between me and Mom are better now but not quite the same. She understands my main problem was missing her wedding but I can’t tell her there’s another part of me that thinks she married the wrong guy.

It’s so weird, like I told you before, I always wanted my parents to get married, and I know you understand that wish, but it all feels a little ‘a day late and a dollar short’ at this point, you know? I mean, wouldn’t it seem that way to you if your parents suddenly got back together and got married? Not that they would, of course, since Liz is married to TJ, but you know what I mean. In fact, her baby must be due soon, right? How does it feel knowing you’re about to be a big brother, or half-brother at least? I can’t imagine how that would be at our age, though I guess there’s a chance I might find out some day. Wow, I hadn’t even thought of that until just now. I could have a full blood-related little brother or sister if my parents decide to have another baby. Should I be freaking out about that? I probably shouldn’t and yet I kind of am.

So, I hope Luke is doing okay. I really don’t see him much these days. Mostly I’m in New Haven, sometimes Hartford, rarely in the Hollow, and when I am it’s all a little awkward given how things ended with Luke and my mom, and now with my parents being back together. I just wish things would go back to normal at some point, but then I guess there is no going back, only forward. I remember seeing a poster once that said, ‘You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.’ Pretty good advice, I guess, but not always so easy to follow.

You remember that night when you offered to drive at me screaming in a foreign language? I knew you weren’t being serious, and yet, at the same time, I knew if I said yes you would’ve done it. It would’ve been kind of thrilling then, I’m sure, but now? Now I sometimes wonder if I have what it takes, Jess. I know when Mitchum Huntzberger smacked me down I was so stupid to listen. You built me back up. You and my mom and Luke and Paris and Lane. Everybody rallied around and made me believe in myself again, but I don’t think I ever fully recovered. I kid myself that I have it all together but maybe I don’t. I’m not so sure anymore.

I know I still love journalism and being the next Christianne Amanpour still appeals in some ways, but in others, I don’t know. I think working for the New York Times would be amazing but the chances of me getting a job there are remote, I guess. You’re right though, I need to make a choice, start applying to places, making something happen. It’s time to stop expecting everybody else to do this stuff for me and make my life my own.

Did I mention how grateful I am for your support and advice and just for your friendship, Jess? Before everything else with us, I always loved being your friend and having you be mine. Let’s never lose that again, please.

Anyway, I have talked way too much about myself so you should tell me what’s going on with you, and don’t do that thing where you say ‘same old, same old’ and brush it all under the rug. I want to know, Jess. It’s been months since I saw you last. How’s business? How are your friends at Truncheon? Are you writing anything new? What are you reading these days? I really do want to know, not least because I hardly seem to get to talk about books at all these days. I hardly get to have any decent conversations with friends about anything anymore!

Paris is usually with Doyle or she wants to talk about battle plans for the progression of senior year. Lane is all about being pregnant right now, and though I have made friends with a couple of other girls at Yale, they’re not really the kind of people I can talk to about books or cult movies or anything interesting like that. Plus, one of them is dating this guy I used to know who used to have a crush on me and it’s just too complicated. I don’t even think I can stand to tell you about it.

So, yes, please, tell me what’s going on with you, Jess. I just really hope you stay happy with what you’re doing because I honestly believe you deserve that.

Take care of yourself,

Rory.

 

She hit ‘send’ before she could change her mind about the contents and closed the lid of her laptop fast. Rory made a decision then and there that from now on, that was how she was going to write emails to Jess. Stream of consciousness and send, don’t think, don’t worry, just do it. It was how their conversations used to be and she wanted that again. She missed it, she missed him.

With a sigh, Rory thought of Luke and how she missed him too. Trips to the diner with her mom, seeing Luke and Jess behind the counter, bantering back and forth, laughing and joking. She meant what she said to Jess, she was well aware that it was impossible to go back. Life gave no choice but to move forward, but that didn’t mean Rory had to like it or be confident in where she was going.

Her cell phone buzzed on the nightstand then and Rory moved to pick it up. A text from her mom reminded her she had promised her $20 for the Stars Hollow knitathon today. Tapping out a reply, Rory assured Lorelai that she hadn’t forgotten and she would get her money on Friday when they met up for dinner with the grandparents.

When the text was gone, the phone screen showed the clock, letting Rory know she had a lot of time to kill between now and Lucy’s party that she was supposed to attend tonight. She wasn’t enthralled with the idea of going but she supposed she would anyway. It was that or further reading of a very dry volume for class, the thought of which she just couldn’t stand right now.

Making a snap decision, Rory got up from the bed, grabbed her bag, slipped on her shoes and headed out.

* * *

“So, basically, I had to tell her the truth, which was not pretty, but I’m an honest guy, you know? It’s not like I could continue to lie like that, not when she was seriously considering approaching the really big publishing houses with that awful manuscript. I mean, seriously, you would’ve done the same, right? Right? Jess!”

Matthew had to physically throw something at Jess’ head before he got any reaction at all. The balled-up piece of the paper struck Jess in the temple then bounced off onto the floor.

“Geez, what are you doing?” he asked crossly.

“Seriously, man have you heard one word that I’ve said in the last ten minutes?”

“Not really.” Jess shook his head. “I’m sorry, I was... distracted,” he said honestly, staring at Rory’s email some more.

Jess didn’t notice Chris crossing behind him until it was too late.

“Somebody got email. Ooh, from the ex... again,” he said pointedly, looking at Matthew.

“No, no, no. Not the ex. The ex is bad,” Matthew reminded Jess, one hand rapping on the table to get his attention and enforce his point at the same time. “Do you not remember the number she did on you last year? That was bad. You don’t need that.”

“Relax. I’m not seeing Rory, we’re just emailing is all.” Jess shrugged. “Besides she apologised for that and I forgave her.”

“Damn, I did not see that coming,” said Chris, returning to his own desk on the other side of Matthew’s own. “You forgave her?”

“She forgave me for the crap I pulled. Fair’s fair.” Jess shrugged. “Besides, we’re just friends now, it’s fine.”

“Ugh, the dreaded F word.” Matthew shuddered. “That’s never a good sign. She still dating the blond dick from Yale?”

“Yup. They’re not living together anymore but they’re still together. I told her the topic of her boyfriend is off-limits with me and Rory respects that.”

“Ooh, you should tell her that you have this amazing new girlfriend!” said Matthew excitedly. “We all work in publishing, I’m sure we can come up with an amazing bio for your fictional new lover,” he said with a look.

“You’re cracked.” Jess rolled his eyes, though he was smirking all the same. “I don’t want or need to make Rory jealous. She is with Logan and she and I are just friends now. I told you, I’m fine with that.”

He went back to staring at Rory’s email, completely missing the look of disbelief that passed between his friends. Jess was glad he and Rory were talking again, being friends again. She was right, it was good to be able to talk like they used to. At the same time, as much as he told Matthew and Chris that he was okay with this arrangement, that it didn’t bother him that Rory was still dating Logan, it wasn’t entirely true.

If nothing else, he didn’t like the idea of someone he cared about being with an idiot like that who clearly didn’t treat her right. That wasn’t the only reason, of course, but it was all Jess was prepared to think about right now.

A ringing sound finally got his attention off the computer screen and Jess physically shook himself, reaching for the phone.

“Truncheon Books, Jess speaking.”

“Hey, kid,” said Liz with an oversized grin he could just hear.

“Hey,” he replied in kind, though he didn’t feel like smiling all that much. “How’re you doing?”

“Pretty good, I guess. Your little sister is using my bladder for a punching bag, but I’ll live. You know, she’s due any day now, so the wait is almost over. Anyway, I’m calling because I thought maybe you could come visit sometime soon. I mean, after the little one is born would be great, then you could meet her and everything, but I know you’re such a busy boy that I need to give you some notice and time to make plans.”

“Liz, you’re not gonna want me hanging around when you have a baby to deal with.”

“Are you crazy? No matter how many more kids I have, Jess, you are always my first born and that matters, okay? I want you to visit. Please?”

“Maybe,” he told her eventually, thinking of the other people living in Stars Hollow more than he was ever thinking of Liz. “I’ll take a look at the diary, let you know, okay?”

“Sure, sure. You do what you gotta do, kid. I guess you’ve probably got lots of work to do so I won’t hold you up anymore, but I would really love to see you soon.”

“So, I heard,” he replied, smiling in spite of himself. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Always do. I’ll see you, baby boy.”

Jess hung up the phone and let out a long breath. A trip to Stars Hollow, now that really would open a whole can of worms, and yet he was seriously considering it. Maybe he really was crazy.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Ror,

Sorry it’s taken me a few days to get back to you. Things got a little crazy over here at Truncheon and time just lost all meaning. Not that I’m complaining, it’s good that we have plenty going on. We don’t make money, we don’t eat, so busy is good, it just keeps me from doing anything else I want to do.

I checked out the website where your article was posted. That’s a cool place. Reminds me a little of Slate mixed with the The New York Times lifestyle section when it was still good. I’m pretty sure you made friends with the right guy there. Your article sure fit right in. I hope to see your name on a by-line again sometime soon.

You really don’t have to keep stroking my ego about how cool I am. I get it, you needed a friend and I’m here for you. I’m always here, Rory, and I always will be.

I noticed your new address was attached to the last email also. Thanks for letting me know where you are. I’m guessing that’s just in case I have any more invitations for you, huh? Well, there are no more open house days going on at Truncheon in the foreseeable future but consider this your standing invitation. If you ever want to drop by, Rory, you’ll be welcome here, okay? It would be great to see you.

 

Jess seriously considered what he had written three days ago before he started typing again. Maybe inviting Rory back to Truncheon wasn’t the smartest thing to do, and yet, he couldn’t help the fact that he really did want to see her. There was always the option for him to visit Stars Hollow and that would make more sense, not least because he had other people to see in Connecticut and Rory only knew him in Philly. Liz had even made a specific request for a visit, and yet. As far as Jess could tell, here were plenty of reasons to stay away from the Hollow. Somehow, Rory managed to be the biggest draw and the biggest reason to stay away.

Sighing heavily, he rubbing a hand over his face and tried to think what else he wanted to say. Re-reading some of Rory’s email helped a little but not a lot, then he re-read his own email again and decided to continue, leaving in his invitation for now.

 

I know it might seem like it makes more sense for me to come to the Hollow, especially now. I’m assuming you know that Liz had her baby yesterday? Kind of freakish to think I have a baby sister over there. Believe me, I never saw that coming. Apparently, Liz and TJ are calling her Doula. I’d say ‘don’t laugh’ but I think you’d have a hard time doing anything else. Apparently, it’s a word for some kind of midwife. God knows why that makes it a good name for a baby, but whatever. I stopped trying to figure out how my mother’s brain works years ago.

Anyway, she’s bugging me to visit. I guess I should before too long but I don’t want to make things any weirder than they already are, for you or for Luke. Besides, I was never exactly popular with the townsfolk, was I? There’s a good chance Taylor would have a seizure the second he saw me in the town square. Actually now, coming back to Stars Hollow suddenly seems like a really great idea.

 

Jess smiled at his own joke, hoping it landed as humour. He was giving only minor amounts of consideration to visiting the place he once called home, hoping he could just keep on convincing everybody else to come to him for now. He wasn’t even sure why facing everybody at once bothered him so much these days, but it did.

A door slammed upstairs, probably either Matthew or Chris finally getting up. A quick glance at the computer clock told Jess it was almost eleven in the morning, not a bad time to get up on a Sunday. Of course, Jess himself had been up since six, working on what might yet be his second novel. When inspiration had finally dried up, he hit the coffee shop down the street, and then returned to his desk to write to Rory, at last.

 

As far as Luke is concerned, I think it’s good for him to have Liz and TJ so close. I know they drive him crazy sometimes (they drive everybody crazy) but they’re family, somebody to turn to when he gets lonely or whatever. For all that he seemed to love his Unabomber existence when I first met him, I know he needs people. I guess we all do sometimes, even me. Never thought you’d hear me say that, huh? Well, time changes us all, I guess.

I actually haven’t heard from Luke in a while. Usually we kind of take it in unofficial turns to call, so it’s technically his choice if he calls me, but I don’t want to leave him alone too long. I’m guessing between Yale and what’s happened between Luke and your mom, you really don’t get into the diner anymore. Next thing on my to do list should probably be checking in with good old Uncle Luke.

Hey, all that crap you wrote about blaming yourself for their break up? That’s crazy talk, Gilmore. I mean, come on, do you blame your mom or Luke or anybody else for what happened with us? I don’t. Sure, they had their opinions, but it was up to us whether it all worked out or if it didn’t. As for April, I know finding out about her really did throw Luke for a loop and it had to be tough on Lorelai too, but maybe they wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Maybe they weren’t supposed to. Sometimes things seem like they’re meant to be but they’re just not.

 

That whole thing came out so much more bitter than Jess had intended but he refused to rewrite. It was true and something he had to accept. As much as he always thought him and Rory would figure it out eventually, he seriously doubted it now. If she could love a guy like Huntzbgerer, if he could actually make her happy, then Jess knew he stood no chance. He would never be that guy and he would never want to be. He was only grateful that Rory’s last email had made so little mention of her boyfriend. She stuck to their agreement on that as much as possible and he didn’t suppose he could expect any more.

 

Anyway, I’m glad you and your mom are okay at least. The world was likely to go spinning off its axis if the Gilmore girls couldn’t get along for a second time. For what it’s worth, I do get what you’re saying about her marrying your dad. As much as TJ is kind of an idiot, I’m more comfortable with Liz married to him than Jimmy. That would definitely screw with my head, so I guess I know what you mean about your parents being ‘a day late and a dollar short.’ If you do find out you have a kid brother or sister on the way, let me know. We’ll start a club or something.

Why can’t parents get it right the first time, huh? Well, I guess they’re just people like everybody else. They screw up the same as we do. Who knows, if your parents and my parents had all made it work when he were born, we might not even have met, and you know that would suck. Then who would you have to offer to drive cars at you when you need it? I’d still do it, Ror, and you’d still be brave enough. You have to stop with all this negativity about your career and what you may or may not be capable of. You can do anything, you know this. I know you know it because you used to tell me all the time. Your mom raised you tougher than this, Gilmore, I know that too. It’s time to man-up, or woman-up in your case, and just do it. Great, now I sound like a sneakers commercial. Thanks for making that happen!

 

Jess took another drink from his to-go cup and frowned when he found it had gone cold. He really had been sitting there contemplating for way too long. He had to have covered everything he needed to say in his email to Rory, even if it wasn’t everything he really wanted to say. The things he could tell her, the things he thought of and dreamed about, and never told a living soul. His hands hovered over the keyboard but then retracted fast. No, it wasn’t fair to put all that on her, which meant he also couldn’t tell her much about the new novel he was working on, even though she had asked. That didn’t mean he couldn’t mention what he was reading, of course, and he quickly launched into a list of old favourites and new that he had enjoyed in the past few weeks, despite how busy he was most of the time. He ended that paragraph with a smile on his face.

 

...and before you ask me when I found time to sleep, I really haven’t, at least not much. You would think I’d be sleeping in on a Sunday morning but I just can’t, not when I have stuff to do. I should tell Luke all about this when I call him. I know there were times when he thought he was going to need a crowbar to get me out of bed in my teen years.

Speaking of the old days, explain to me again how Lane is pregnant? I mean, I don’t need a biology lesson, obviously, but I so didn’t see that coming. I guess it’s true what they say, you keep a person ground down the way Mrs Kim did with Lane, eventually they rebel and they do it in style. Married with a kid on the way at twenty-two? That sounds terrifying, but hey, if she’s happy, I wish her luck. Tell her I said, ‘hi’ if you want. We never knew each other super-well but we got along well enough for a while there.

It’s cool that you’re still friends with Lane (and Paris, I guess) but also still getting to know new people at Yale. Kind of sounds like a soap opera though, with you being friends with a girl who’s dating a guy who used to have a crush on you? I’m not even sure if I got that right, but it sounds like a headache waiting to happen. I hope you figure it out anyway.

All the best,

Jess.

 

Hitting send before he had a chance to reassess his email, Jess leaned back in the desk chair and stretched out his aching back. Maybe Chris and Matthew were right, maybe he was a fool to be making buddy-buddy with his ex-girlfriend, especially when she was so much more than just that. Rory was the only woman in the world he ever loved and somehow, Jess had a feeling she would always hold that title. If she was going to, then he was kind of screwed.

* * *

It felt wrong lying to everybody, but Rory couldn’t help herself. When she left the apartment, she told Paris and Doyle she was headed to Stars Hollow, and when she talked to her mom she said she would be home in time for dinner. Technically, both things were true and yet not entirely. Rory was making a stop on the way home, to the same place she had visited the other day during the Stars Hollow Knitathon, and it was just too awkward to explain to anyone. Of course, she would probably tell Jess, but as of a half hour ago when she last checked her email, he still hadn’t replied to her last message. She really hoped he would soon because she was missing him already.

The bell rang over the door as Rory entered Luke’s diner. Being a Sunday, it was pretty quiet, which was half the reason she chose that particular time to drop by. It was the same reasoning she used when she came by before and most people were distracted by the knitting event in the town square. Not that she had to feel bad about going into the diner, but somehow, with things being as they were with Luke and Lorelai, it was easier not to have too much of an audience bear witness to her being there.

“Hey,” she said as she approached the counter and hopped up onto a stool.

“Rory.” Luke smiled at the sight of her, looking somewhat less nervous than the last time she dropped by. “Good to see you.”

“I did tell you last week that I’d be back.”

“Yes, you did.” Luke nodded. “What can I get you?”

“Pancakes would be great, please, and coffee, obviously.”

“Obviously,” he agreed, turning away to get the pot and fill up a large cup for her.

“But you have to let me pay this time,” she insisted, thanking him for the coffee when he placed in front of her. “It was very sweet of you to let me have my burger on the house the last time, but I’m not living on freebies forever. Even poor students have some money, you know?”

“If you really wanna pay, who am I to say you can’t?” said Luke, shrugging his shoulders, before disappearing off to make her pancakes.

Rory glanced around while waiting for him to return. Thankfully there was no sign of Babette, Miss Patty, Kirk, or Taylor, so she might get away with this visit without anyone really being aware of her presence in Luke’s. If it did get out, then her mom was going to hear about it, and although Rory was pretty sure Lorelai would have no reason to be mad about her going to the diner, she didn’t even want her to feel awkward or weird about it at all. It was just easier to keep it a secret for now.

“Pancakes,” said Luke, as he placed them in front of Rory on the counter.

“Thank you” she said politely, immediately digging in. “Mmm, so much better than anything you can get in the Yale cafeteria.”

“Good to know.” Luke smiled. “So, you doing okay over there? No problems?”

“No problems,” Rory promised. “I seem to have a little less to do this weekend, and I’m not sure how that happened, but I am grateful for the breather. I know it’s only going to get worse as we head towards graduation,” she explained, taking another big mouthful of her pancakes, chewing and swallowing before she continued. “I had thought I could email Jess this morning but he still didn’t reply to my last message and I don’t wanna bombard him.”

“Yeah, I should give him a call before too long. It is kind of my turn,” Luke considered. “I just figured he probably got enough town gossip from his mom when she called about the baby.”

“Aww, proud uncle,” said Rory, staring up at him. “You’re smiling so much right now.”

“Hey, I got a beautiful new niece and a pretty cool nephew. Those are good reasons to be a proud uncle.”

“Agreed, on all counts,” said Rory, smiling back at him.

This was so much nicer than the last conversation they had, where it was awkward and strained as they worked around the landmines and figured out a new way to be friends. Between the break-up of her mom and Luke and then Lorelai marrying Christopher, it was all such a mess, but Rory didn’t want to lose Luke from her life and he had confirmed the other day that he didn’t want to lose her either. It had been tough before, but it was fine now. They could be the pseudo-father and daughter they had been for almost half of Rory’s life, and she wouldn’t trade that for anything.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi Jess,

Sorry it’s taken me a little while to get back to you. I swear it wasn’t deliberate because your reply wasn’t instant. Not that I’m complaining about the non-instantaneous reply from you either, of course. You’re busy, I get that, you even wrote it in your email. Okay, I’m just going to move on before this all becomes way too rambly. So, I’m glad you’re busy. As you say, busy means money and that’s good for you and the guys, plus I’m guessing it means you’re getting more and more popular and that’s very good too. A publishing house needs a good reputation, so that’s good. Wow, I need to invest in a new thesaurus, don’t I? My brain is a little burnt out after one too many papers. I should’ve known that one weekend was the calm before the storm. Suddenly it was assignments on top of assignments and I have barely had time to breathe. I guess I shouldn’t complain about being busy any more than you, after all, my family is paying for me to get a good education at Yale. They would hardly be getting our money’s worth if I was sat around on my butt all day with nothing to do.

Just as soon as I found a little free time, you were priority one. I just wanted you to know that. After this, I’m hoping to hash out another article for Hugo’s website. I got this idea that I think is going to work but I don’t really want to tell you about it right now because I’m not sure, but trust me, you’ll be the first to get a copy if and when it’s done.

Thank you for your invitation to visit. If I wasn’t so crazy-busy I would totally take you up on that. With the break coming up, I guess I may have some free time, but you know Christmas in Stars Hollow, there’ll be so much going on, I probably won’t even get a chance to get away, even if I wanted to. There was talk of my going to London for Christmas but, honestly, I couldn’t stand the idea of not getting to see Mom and Dad over the holidays. I’m a little surprised that you’re not coming here at some point for Christmas or New Year’s maybe. Unless of course you’d rather avoid your mom. I know you and she have a complicated relationship but I did wonder if things would be different now Doula is in the picture. I haven’t met your sister of the strange-but-ultimately-cute name yet, but I have been assured by Mom that she is adorable. I think I’ve persuaded her not to get broody, but who knows with Lorelai Gilmore?

Anyway, if you do come visiting in the Hollow sometime soon, I happen to know at least two people who would be pleased to see you that you probably wouldn’t mind being around and that is me and Luke. You know we’ve hung out at the diner a couple of times lately and it’s actually really nice. It was because of our emails that I realised I really haven’t seen him at all since the whole him and Mom break up mess and I hated that. I mean, I didn’t break up with Luke, he can still be my friend and I can be his, so we figured things out and we’ve talked. I hadn’t realised how much I missed him until I saw him again. Yes, I will admit, I also missed his coffee and Danishes and pancakes and burgers, but I missed Luke too.

Anyway, he did mention the other day that he was going to call you. In fact, it was the day I got your email, so one way or another, I’m guessing you finally got a hold of each other in the end. I think it’s great that you keep in touch the way you do. You guys need each other. I’m pretty sure that was true long before either you or Luke even realised it actually. You have way more in common that you’re willing to admit too!

So, I’ve been hanging out with Luke, hanging out with Paris and Doyle, trying to make an effort to keep up with Lane (I would explain that situation if I could, but frankly, it’s a little too strange even for me!), all while being super-busy, which hasn’t really left time for anyone else, and by that, I mean my parents, mostly. I don’t know what it is but I just feel weird when I go home and Dad is just there, being all couple-like with my mom. I know that’s what they are, a couple, a married couple in fact, but it’s just so weird. It’s like we said before, if I was a kid, it’d probably be a dream come true, but now it feels strange, and I’m almost convinced some of the problem is Luke. Not in a bad way, not like Luke is causing problems, of course. What I mean is, a part of me just keeps wondering how things might’ve been if Mom and Luke had got married last year like they originally planned. Things could be so different now. I actually think they could be really great, but I guess we’ll never know.

Well, nobody can change the past, so let’s look to the future. Thanks for the pep talk, by the way... again. It’s kind of becoming a habit with us, isn’t it? I whine at you and you tell me I’m awesome. I don’t come off well in that situation, so I think it’s time for a change. Maybe I should really start taking some of that great advice you’ve been giving me instead of saying I will and then complaining some more. I was about to type, ‘Does that sound like a plan?’ It’s as if I just can’t tell myself what to do, I have to ask you to do it, and as much as you don’t mind, I do. Okay, this is me telling myself (kind of via you, but hear me out) that I am going to take a hold of my life and shake it into shape. Plans, looking-forward, fixing what needs fixing, just like last year. I did it once, I can do it again. Wow, I feel better for that. I can only apologise for filling this email with what is basically me talking to myself! Oh well, you used to put up with it when I did it in person years ago, I’m sure you   
can deal with it in print too. I even think you said my rambling was sexy once, but that was a long time ago.

Anyway, thank you for that long list of book recommendations! I know that’s not really what it was supposed to be, just a selection of what you’ve enjoyed, but you know me and books, if someone with good taste tells me about a book I haven’t read, I am there. A poor student I may be, but there’s always room in the budget for a few books, even if they’re not for a class.

I have had no time for recreational reading lately, but I really hope to dive into as many good books as I can over Christmas break. My mind needs to run free for a while. ‘So many books, so little time.’ I know that you of all people know exactly what I mean.

Honestly, I think I’ll just be glad to escape from Yale for a couple of weeks when the holidays come around. Paris is getting antsy about graduation already, which seems a little crazy on the surface, but I guess six months isn’t so long when you think about it. Plus, the whole situation that you accurately called a soap opera got worse. Let’s see if I can simplify it - I knew a guy named Marty in Freshman year, he got a crush on me, but by the time I found about it I was dating someone else. I barely saw him after that, then fast-forward to the beginning of Senior year, I meet these two girls, Lucy and Olivia. Lucy has a boyfriend, who she never refers to by his name, only as ‘boyfriend’ any time she talks about him, and then when I finally meet him - he’s Marty. Now, here’s the crazy part, neither of us bothered to tell Lucy we knew each other before. I don’t even know what I was thinking, nevermind what Marty was thinking, so she thinks we just met when actually we have this odd history in which we were friends and he liked me more than a friend. So, yes, soap opera pretty much sums it up, especially since he’s acting like he doesn’t like me at all in front of Lucy and then, get this, tried to make a move on me when she wasn’t around! I’m thinking of just walking away from the whole thing, which may seem harsh on the girls, but honestly, the more time I spend with them, the more I wonder why I started. I mean, they’re nice, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not really my type, I guess. Can you have a type with friends? Well, whether you can or not, I think I do, and I’m not sure they’re it. Marty sure isn’t anymore, that’s for certain.

Well, I think by now you’re probably sick of me and my tales of the weird and wonderful, so I’ll sign off. Let me know if those plans to visit come together. I need to make some time to catch up face-to-face. Emailing is great but it would also be really great to see you, Jess.

Happy Holidays!

Rory.

 

Jess was smiling by the time he reached the end of Rory’s email. It was so strange that it should arrive on the very morning that he was headed into Connecticut. Maybe he should have told her he was going to Stars Hollow, but even at this late stage, towards the end of the journey down from Philly, he still hadn’t entirely decided if he planned on seeing Rory this trip.

It seemed insane to travel so far and then deliberately avoid one of his favourite people living in that area, but Jess had his reasons, and when he was sitting on that side of the fence, he thought they were good ones. Of course, there were other times when he fully convinced himself that he definitely did want to see Rory, that he had so many things to tell her, like how much he still cared about her and how he wanted to be more than friends. Jess considered that side of his character to be idiotic, and yet it still persisted in being there, bugging him too often.

The smile slid from his face as he turned off the laptop and slid it back into his bag on the bus seat next to him. Rory said she had been talking to Luke but she hadn’t mentioned what was going on with April. So much for the two of them getting back to the way they used to be, Jess knew the first people Luke would’ve gone too with an issue like a potential custody battle with his daughter would be the Gilmore girls, but those days had long since passed. Now, he only had his blood family to turn to, and aside from Jess, that meant a crazy lady and a new-born baby. It was the reason that Jess had finally decided he really should come into the Hollow for a visit, even if it was liable to end in disaster one way or another.

The sign outside the bus window proclaimed ‘Welcome to Hartford’ and Jess sighed. He would be back in Stars Hollow within the hour, seeing Luke, seeing his mom and the new baby sister he had yet to meet. He may even see Rory and his heart skipped a beat just thinking about it. All the scenarios he had run in his head when it came to seeing her again and Jess still felt like he wasn’t ready, like he would never be ready for that moment. It seemed as if he was going to have to be and he didn’t have long to prepare himself.

* * *

Rory couldn’t remember the last time she was this mad at anyone, but Logan had just infuriated her today. He seemed to be making a habit of it lately and she wasn’t entirely sure why. Actually, maybe she did know why, at least a little bit. Logan was mad about her article and though he said afterwards he was over it, Rory wasn’t quite so sure she believed him. He certainly wasn’t thrilled about her moving out, but it was just something Rory had felt she needed to do. It was the same when he asked her to spend Christmas in London with him, she just couldn’t do it, and that definitely made him mad.

It was probably foolish to sweep it under the rug and pretend everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t. That was how they had come to be out to lunch with Marty and Lucy, only for Logan to tell Lucy exactly what the relationship between Rory and Marty had once been. Another regrettable fight had followed, Logan refused to apologise, and Rory just couldn’t take anymore. She had stormed out of the restaurant, got into her car, and driven home as fast as she dare.

It occurred to her before she ever actually reached her house that going home meant sharing her boyfriend troubles not just with her mom but her dad too. It was almost enough to send Rory driving right back to Yale, but that wouldn’t help at all. Instead she decided to take a walk around the town, hoping to calm down and feel better. She headed for the bridge, a safe haven where she could be quiet and do some serious thinking. She never expected her usual spot to be occupied.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I... Jess?”

“Rory,” he greeted her, smiling widely. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to see you.”

“But I’m a little surprised to see you, especially like this,” she said, gesturing to the stroller parked next to him, on which he had a firm grip. “So, this is Doula.”

“Yup, this is my sister,” he said, unable to keep from laughing at how crazy that still seemed to him. “Come say hi,” he encouraged her.

Rory stepped gingerly closer to Jess and Doula, unsure which one was making her most nervous. Sitting down on the other side of the stroller, she peered in at the baby and then smiled.

“She’s gorgeous.”

“Some say it runs in the family,” said Jess with a smirk of his own. “Obviously we’re not staying out here too long, but... I don’t know, I wanted to show her this place while I had the chance.”

“It was always your favourite spot,” said Rory knowingly. “Mine too actually.”

Jess smiled and nodded, before looking back out over the water. It was easier than fixating on Rory, though the temptation to stare at her was big enough. She was as beautiful as he remembered and then some. It made Jess wonder if he had been a real fool in coming here or if it was the best decision he had made in a long time.

“So, I was thinking-”

“Well, I should probably-”

They both stopped when they realised what had happened and looked at each other wearing weirdly nervous smiles.

“Sorry,” he said then. “You go.”

“No, it’s fine. I was just thinking I could really use someone to talk to right now and then you appeared. I’m starting to wonder if you’re freelancing as a guardian angel or something.”

“Wow, that’s something I was never accused of before,” said Jess with another of those smirks that Rory had missed so much.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, and I wish I could stay and talk, but I really should get Doula back to Liz. It’s kind of cold out here and I did say I’d only be an hour,” he noted, checking his watch.

“Oh, sure, yeah. I understand.” Rory nodded, scrambling to get up as Jess did the same. “You should go.”

“I just have to drop the kid off and then, if you wanted, I could meet you back here?”

“It is a little chilly for outdoor talking,” Rory considered. “How about Weston’s?”

Jess nodded his head. “You order the coffee and pie, I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Rory smiled then. “I’ll see you soon, Jess.”

“See you soon, Rory,” he promised, heading off the bridge with Doula.

Rory almost laughed out loud at the picture Jess made, pushing a stroller and talking to his baby sister with a smile on his face. It was strange to see him that way, but great to be seeing him at all, Rory thought. In fact, she wasn’t sure she’d been this pleased to see a person for a very long time.


	6. Chapter 6

“I thought you were going to tell me what’s bothering you,” said Jess, sat across the table from Rory at Weston’s and watching her pick at a piece of pie without really eating it. “Something clearly was at the bridge and it’s gotta be more serious than I thought if you’re not eating pie, so...?”

The way he prompted her made Rory smile for a moment, but it wasn’t easy to hold onto that expression. She would love nothing more than to share her problems with Jess, but the more she thought about them all, the more they all seemed to circle back to Logan, the one topic that was forbidden.

“I’m fine, really,” she insisted, shaking her head, making an effort to put a forkful of pie into her mouth like she meant it.

“Rory,” said Jess with a look. “Remember who you’re talking to. I know you and I know when something is wrong. For once, I’m pretty sure it can’t be my fault, so it has to be one of three things. Yale, your mom, or the boyfriend.”

The last option came out like it left a bad taste on Jess’ tongue. Rory was impressed he even made Logan an option on the list after their agreement not to speak about her relationship with the man Jess had termed ‘the blond dick from Yale.’ Maybe it was okay to bring him up if she was going to be negative, though Rory wasn’t sure, so she stuck to the first two choices.

“Yale is fine. Busy, but fine. I have no problems there. Of course, home is kind of a different story.”

“Still not used to the parents being together thing, huh?” said Jess with a sympathetic look. “That’s gotta be weird.”

“Very weird. I’m not sure if it would be weird no matter who mom married or if it’s just because it’s dad actually,” she considered, staring into the dish at her pie and deciding another bite couldn’t hurt.

“Well, I never met your dad, but he has to be easier to talk to than TJ.” Jess rolled his eyes. “It’s tough enough handling Liz, but seriously...” he trailed off, shaking his head.

Rory smiled.

“He’s not a bad guy. He’s just, well, maybe not the smartest is all.”

“Maybe not the smartest?” Jess echoed incredulously. “Congratulations, you win the award for understatement of the century.”

They both laughed at that, then concentrated on eating their pie for a few moments, at least until the awkward silence crept back in. Rory didn’t know how to tell Jess what was really wrong and figured he must have realised by now what the problem was. It didn’t take long for him to give in and broach the subject himself.

“So, Yale is fine, things with your parents are weird but not so bad,” he said, putting his fork down into his empty dish and marvelling at the fact Rory wasn’t even half done with her own pie yet, “that’s gotta mean the main problem is Huntzberger.”

Rory heaved a sigh and dug into her food.

“C’mon, Ror. I know I said I didn’t want to hear about your boyfriend issues but if it’s this bad and you really need someone to talk to, I can handle it,” he promised, leaning across the table towards her. “Hey,” he said, his hand on her arm so that she would look at him, “you might just make my day if I get to go punch the guy in the face.”

She didn’t mean to laugh, but Rory couldn’t help it.

“I know you’d do it too,” she said, shaking her head. “But no. No violence on my account, please. It was just a stupid fight.”

She didn’t like the way Jess immediately retracted his hand at the sound of those words, but Rory supposed she couldn’t blame him. He had been burnt by her before, after all.

“The problem is, it’s not the first stupid fight. There seem to have been a lot lately... and it’s not all Logan’s fault, not really,” she said thoughtfully, pushing the rest of her pie around and around in the dish. “I mean, that article I wrote made things awkward, and then my moving out, I guess, but he’s being so childish lately and I just... I know I should want to be with him, I should try harder, but lately...”

“Lately?” Jess prompted when she fell silent.

“Lately, it just seems easier not to try. Honestly, most of the time, I’d rather talk to you than to him.”

Rory thought that was a nice thing in some ways, so the cloud that came over Jess’ face when she spoke was a surprise.

“What did I say?”

Jess could hardly believe Rory was asking that question. After everything that happened before, how she all but played him that day at Truncheon, letting him believe she and Logan were over just so she could get her own back on the asshole. Now she was still with Huntzberger, claiming to be unhappy with her situation and looking to Jess to make it all better, and on top of that, acting like she had no idea what she did wrong.

“You’re not this dumb, Rory,” he told her sharply.

It seemed to dawn on her then what he meant as her eyes grew wider and her mouth fell open. She was having the same flashback that had come to Jess’ mind so easily, and rather more regularly than he would like, truth be told.

“I didn’t mean...” she began, shaking her head. “Jess, I’m sorry. Maybe we really shouldn’t talk about this anymore.”

“Maybe not,” he agreed, the both of them looking off in different directions, unable to face each other right now.

It was crazy. Via email they had so fully reconnected, like the friends they used to be once upon a time. It felt good, natural, easy. Now they were face to face again and everything had gone to hell in a handbasket inside of a half hour. Jess hated that, but for once, it really wasn’t his fault.

“Have you seen Luke yet this visit?” asked Rory.

Jess sighed.

“Not yet. I don’t know what I’m going to say to him when I do. You know about the custody thing, right?”

“Custody thing? With April?” she guessed, though was clearly oblivious to the whole tale.

Jess hated that he was glad about that. It wasn’t a fun piece of news to share but at least it was a topic they could talk about and wouldn’t fight over.

“Apparently Anna’s moving to New Mexico, something about a sick mother, I don’t know the details exactly,” Jess explained. “Anyway, she’s taking April and she seems totally okay with the fact that Luke’ll pretty much never see again.”

“That’s awful!” said Rory, perhaps a little too loudly for a public place, moderating her tone the moment she realised. “It’s crazy too. I mean, come on, who is a better father then Luke?”

“Preaching to the choir,” Jess agreed wholeheartedly, “but Anna’s not backing down which means Luke’s only choice is to sue for custody.”

“Wow. I can’t believe all of that is happening to him and I didn’t even know. I mean, we’ve been talking lately, a couple of times anyway, but this must have happened after... or maybe he just didn’t want to tell me? I hate that he probably didn’t want to tell me.”

“It’s not about you, Ror,” Jess reminded her. “Everything with him and Lorelai, it’s messy.”

“Tell me about it.” Rory sighed. “Sometimes I just wish they never broke up. I know that means Mom wouldn’t be with Dad, but her and Luke? They were the couple, you know? I looked at them and I thought nobody could be more in love. They seemed perfect together.”

“I know what you mean.” Jess nodded. “I mean, I never actually saw them being a couple, but it was always there with them. You remember the first day we met?” he asked then, smirking some as he recalled it himself.

“Of course, I do,” Rory assured him. “You made quite the first impression,” she recalled with a smile.

“Yeah, well, on your mom more than you. You know I accused her of sleeping with Luke?”

Rory had been taking a sip of her coffee when Jess asked that question and almost spat the contents of her mouth all over him when she heard thise words. It was miracle when she eventually managed to swallow.

“You, what?” she checked, unable to keep from laughing.

“I wasn’t even trying to piss her off. It was no joke, I seriously thought they were together.”

“Back then?”

“Back then.” Jess nodded in agreement. “It was so obvious to me that they liked each other, loved each other, I guess. No offence to your dad or Nicole or anybody else that either of them were with before or after, but Luke and Lorelai? They always seemed so... meant to be.”

“I know,” Rory agreed, all trace of laughter gone from her voice and expression as she heaved one more sigh.

“Geez, you have got to stop doing that,” Jess told her. “And eat your pie already. It makes me nervous when a Gilmore doesn’t have an appetite. It’s probably one of the warning signs of the coming apocalypse or something,” he said, pushing her dish closer to her.

“Wow, you’re charming today,” she told him, poking out her tongue when he met her eyes.

“I am always charming,” he assured her with a smirk that he wore so well. “This is probably a dumb question, but you want more coffee?” he offered then, getting up from his seat.

“Please.” Rory nodded, handing over her mug.

She watched Jess go to get more drinks and couldn’t help but smile. It was just so good to see him again and no part of Rory wanted to deny it. Emailing had been great, and when it came to the forever awkward topic of her love life, probably safer, but seeing Jess in person, really talking like they used to, it was pretty special.

With renewed vigour, Rory stabbed a piece of her pie with her fork and took a big bite. So much for the crappy day she was having, it had certainly improved now Jess was here.

Maybe Christmas would be better than she thought if he was sticking around. It made her doubly glad she hadn’t accepted Logan’s invitation to go to London next week, no matter how mad it had made him. She was just as mad about the whole Lucy and Marty situation, so now they were even. It was petty, but that’s how Rory chose to think of it for now. It at least made her feel a little better about the situation between herself and the boyfriend. She could easily not talk about it anymore, which was a good thing, because Jess really didn’t want to hear it anyway.

“Things are looking up,” he said as he returned to the table with another coffee for Rory and a hot chocolate for himself.

She wondered what he meant until she realised he was looking into her dish that was now almost completely devoid of pie.

“You want another piece?”

“No, thanks. I could, but I won’t. I need to go see my mom soon and I’m guessing we’ll do dinner.”

“And at the Gilmore house you go big or go home,” said Jess knowingly as he retook his seat.

“You know if you wanted to come along...?” Rory began, already knowing it was a bad idea before she ever finished the question.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” he told her, shaking his head. “C’mon, Ror, me and your mom never saw eye to eye, and I’m pretty sure your dad wouldn’t like me much either. Besides, don’t take this the wrong way, but after the way things went with Lorelai and Luke, I might say something I shouldn’t anyway.”

Rory wished she could defend her mom but she knew that Lorelai hadn’t handled the situation well. To be fair, Luke had done wrong too, trying to keep April and Lorelai separate and everything, but with the marriage ultimatum and sleeping with Christopher, Lorelai had done her part in the destruction of a really good relationship also.

It hurt when Rory thought about it too much. It was the one break up that made her heart ache almost as much as one of her own, from the guy sat across the table.

“You okay?” he checked, clearly noticing the pained expression she was doubtless wearing by now.

“Fine,” she told him. “Er, thank you, for more coffee,” she said the, picking up her mug in both hands and taking a long drink. “So, are you here for the holidays?”

“No.” Jess actually laughed when he said it. “I’m sorry, but you actually think I could stand to be back here that long? With Liz, and TJ, and all the crazy townies that hate me?”

“They do not all hate you,” Rory insisted. “You know Miss Patty was just waiting for you to be legal so she could make you husband number six.”

“Geez, if that’s not a reason to run back to Philly as fast as I can, I don’t know what is.” Jess rolled his eyes.

Rory laughed, she couldn’t help it.

“But seriously, how long are you staying?”

“A couple of days,” Jess told her. “Liz wanted me to stay with them but Luke managed to convince her it wasn’t fair to trap anybody else in a house with a crying newborn than absolutely had to be there, so I’m staying over the diner with him.”

“Just like old times,” said Rory with no small feeling of nostalgia.

“Yeah, just like old times,” Jess agreed, meeting her eyes.

Rory meant to look away, or she figured Jess would before long, but he didn’t. Old times, the heady days of the beginning of their relationship, and even before they were a couple. Just friends, that was what they had been before, at least Rory always said so. Deep down, she knew they had never really been just anything, not her and Jess.

“I should go,” she said very suddenly, getting up so fast from her chair that she almost knocked it flying.

“Right now?” Jess checked.

“Yes. I mean, probably. I should go and see my mom, and my dad, of course. Now would be good,” she rambled, the way only a Gilmore girl could. “I just think it’s best if I go... now,” she repeated.

“Okay.” Jess nodded, getting up to walk out with her. “Uh, I’m guessing you have to get back to Yale after...?”

“Not immediately.” Rory shook her head. “I mean, if you’re going to be around a couple of days, we could... I’d like to see you again, before you go.”

“I’d like that too,” he admitted with a crooked smile that made her insides flip over in a way they hadn’t in too long. “Tomorrow? Luke’ll probably have me waiting tables if I hang around in the diner long enough.”

“Tomorrow,” Rory echoed. “I’ll come by.”

Just like that it was agreed and in the moments that followed they parted ways without another word spoken. Still, Rory was smiling as she walked away, instead of frowning and seething as she had been on arrival in the Hollow today. Jess made the difference. He always did.


	7. Chapter 7

“I don’t know what I’m doing, kid. I thought that I did but now? I really, really don’t.”

Rory wasn’t sure she had ever seen her mom look so confused and upset by anything, and that included when she was struggling to make things work with Luke. That had hurt a lot, when Luke was prioritising April, when Lorelai didn’t know how to deal, but this was a whole other thing. Rory had tried to avoid getting to involved in what was between her parents, it seemed better that way, safer, but now she wasn’t so sure she had a choice.

“I’m sorry, mom,” she said, scooching along the couch and putting her arms around Lorelai. “I just... I thought things were going well.”

“Me too!” Lorelai exclaimed. “Or maybe I just hoped they were... or they would, if we just kept on going, but now it’s just... it’s not working. I’m fighting Christopher on everything. I know that I’m doing it but I can’t seem to stop.”

“But you’re not arguing with him on purpose, right?” Rory checked, trying to see her face. “Mom?”

“No, of course not,” Lorelai insisted, pulling back to meet her daughter’s eyes. “Rory, come on, why would I do that? I mean, Chris was talking about moving house and you know me, I love the Hollow, it’s home. Even before when it was... before, I never wanted to leave here,” she said, deliberately avoiding the name ‘Luke’ Rory noted. “Then he started in on kids. ‘Let’s have a baby, let’s have one right now!’” she said in a very bad attempt at Chris’ voice as far as Rory could tell. “I... I could want another kid, I guess, but not now. Not now, I’m not ready for that. We’re not ready for that,” she said definitely.

“You’re allowed to not be ready, Mom,” Rory insisted. “You’re also allowed to want to live where you want to live. I don’t want to be mean and make this worse, but maybe these are the things you guys should’ve talked about before the whole getting married thing?”

Lorelai inhaled and exhaled very deeply and loudly.

“I know,” she said, sitting straight and wiping both cheeks dry with her hands. “I know, you’re right, but... I would’ve been okay. I swear I would’ve been okay with it all if it wasn’t for Emily giving me this whole speech about compromise and making a marriage work. She really got to me with all of that!”

She was practically growling out the words and Rory didn’t wonder at it. She could imagine the condescending way that Grandma was likely to have given her own daughter a speech on marriage. It would’ve been enough to make anyone mad, but most especially Mom. Nobody could push Lorelai’s buttons like Emily could.

“I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better,” said Rory sadly. “I mean, I’m hardly a relationship expert myself.”

“Okay, there was a tone with that,” said Lorelai, giving her a look. “Is there something not good happening with your relationship? Oh, honey, am I being all weepy and weird about my stupid marriage and neglecting you in your hour of need?”

“Of course not.” Rory smiled and shook her head, knowing from the expression on her mother’s face that she wasn’t buying. “I mean, well, things with me and Logan have been a little... strained lately, I guess, but we’ll figure it out. We always do,” she said quickly.

Lorelai continued to look unconvinced, especially when Rory was barely even glancing at her as she continued to ramble about this fight and that fight that really were not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

“Why do I get the feeling that you didn’t just move out because Logan needed to get a new apartment?” she said eventually. “Honey, you’re having problems. Why didn’t you talk to me about this?”

“It’s not problems. It’s just... issues,” she said, immediately realising how that sounded. “I’m making it sound worse than it is, honestly. We’re fine, or we will be. Like you and Dad.”

Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say either, but Rory realised it too late. It seemed that neither she nor her mom were doing so well in the romance department of late. She only wished she knew how to make either of their situations better. At least Rory had Jess to talk things out with, her mom wasn’t so lucky. Strangely, Luke would probably be her equivalent person in the old days, but that was never going to happen now, not in the circumstances. Rory really couldn’t imagine what Luke was feeling about her parents’ marriage, he must be hurting so much, even though he would never say it to Rory.

A horrible feeling came over her when she thought about that too much. If she was her mom’s equivalent and Jess was in Luke’s place...

“Oh God!” she gasped, suddenly feeling very sick.

“What? What’s wrong?” asked Lorelai, looking worried.

Rory shook her head. “It’s nothing. I just... I think I’ve done something dumb.”

“With Logan?” Lorelai checked, clearly confused by the turn in the conversation.

“No. No, it’s just me,” she said vaguely, waving her hand around. “I’m fine. I just need to make an apology later. No big deal,” she said, literally laughing it off. “Wow, aren’t we just a pair of drama queens today?”

“Apparently,” Lorelai agreed, reaching for the box of tissues and blowing her nose hard. “Um, you want coffee? I think there may be cookies from Sookie’s last batch too.”

“Sounds good.” Rory nodded, following her mom to the kitchen.

Caffeine and home-baked goodies would help for now, but in the long-term, Rory had a feeling she and her mom really did have to do some fixing to do in the love department of their lives, as a minimum. She only wished she knew where either of them were supposed to start in doing that!

* * *

“You can stop looking at me like that any time you want,” said Jess, trying not to smirk as he came back to the counter with empty plates piled in his hands.

“I’m sorry, I’m just feeling weirdly nostalgic about this,” his uncle told him with a smile. “Look at you with your great work ethic all of a sudden.”

“Taught by the best,” said Jess, still smirking even though he was completely serious and they both knew it. “Honestly, if this is all it takes to put a smile on your face, I’ll bus all the tables you want.”

“Yeah, not had so much to smile about lately,” Luke admitted. “You being here is great though, for your mom, and also for me. At least one person in this family is doing good.”

“Doing good is a relative term.” Jess rolled his eyes as he moved by his uncle and dropped off the dirty dishes in the kitchen. “Truncheon is still functioning and I’m trying to push through this second book but I don’t exactly have it made.”

“Hey, you are doing great things,” said Luke, pointing a finger at him and sounding almost a little mad at Jess even as he complimented him - it was such a Luke thing. “You are a published author, you work at a publishing house, and I am proud of you, okay?”

“Noted.” Jess nodded, smiling just a little. “Now we just need to get things figured out with you. You got a lawyer yet?”

“I have a meeting set up but things are probably going to move pretty slowly with the holidays coming up and all.” Luke sighed, adjusting his hat twice within that short sentence. “Lawyers and custody cases. I don’t know when this became my life.”

“Life has a habit of throwing curveballs when you least expect them,” said Jess knowingly. “You know Rory just emailed me right out of the blue a few weeks ago?”

“She mentioned she’d been in touch with you.” Luke nodded. “You seen her around town?”

“Yesterday, yeah.”

That was all the response Jess gave and hoped rather than believed he would get away with it. He ought to have known better.

“Oh, come on!” Luke complained. “The two of you, after all this time, finally talking again? It’s a big deal, right?”

“It is what it is.” Jess shrugged, eyes everywhere but on Luke. “I don’t know, it’s weird. We’re friends, I guess, but... but she’s dating that tool Huntzberger and apparently he’s treating her like crap.”

“He’s what now? Oh, no. That’s not happening. You know where we can find him?” asked Luke, looking completely ready for a fight. “I will teach that kid some manners, I swear-”

“Luke, breathe!” Jess urged him. “Rory’s a big girl, she can handle him. Believe me, she knows who to call if she ever can’t,” he said with a look.

The worry and anger in Luke dissipated as he watched his nephew a moment. When Jess said he and Rory were in touch again and that they were friends, he almost believed him, but in no time at all that look was back on Jess’ face.

“Still?” he asked, one word, but Jess knew exactly what he meant.

Nodding his head was all that was needed to confirm it all. Yes, despite how dumb he knew it was, he did still have feelings for Rory. It would be a hell of a lot easier if he didn’t, and if he had a choice about switching them off for good, Jess knew he would definitely do it, but there was no choice, there never had been.

“Wow,” said Luke, though thankfully he was kept from saying anymore when the diner door opened and the girl in question walked in.

“Hi,” she said as she approached the counter.

“Hi,” Luke replied.

“Hi,” said Jess in the next moment.

It was all Luke could do not to roll his eyes at what seemed so weirdly familiar to him.

“I recognise that tree,” he muttered to himself, immediately wishing the phrase hadn’t come to mind - after all, it was one of Lorelai’s quips. “Uh, Rory, always nice to see you, what can we get for you? Coffee?” he asked her quickly.

“Definitely, yes, please,” she agreed, taking a seat on a stool. “Also, pancakes and bacon please?”

“Coming right up.” Luke nodded, going to get her order.

He and Jess shared a look as they passed each other, uncle going for food while nephew served up coffee.

“This really is like old times,” said Rory, looking almost nervous about it. “We shouldn’t expect chalk outlines outside of Doose’s and missing gnomes any time soon, right?” she asked, smirking as she took a sip of her coffee.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Jess, straight-faced at first before the familiar smirk broke through. “It does feel weird being here like this,” he admitted then, leaning on the counter to talk to her some more. “I never thought I’d see the day where I actually wanted to be here, where serving in a diner would feel... good.”

“Nostalgia is a powerful thing.” Rory nodded. “I just wish... well, it still feels kind of wrong being here without my mom” she said, looking away and keeping her voice as low as possible, mindful of Luke’s return. “Things aren’t so great with her and Dad just now.”

“Huh,” said Jess, unsure what else he could say that would help, or at least not make things worse.

“Yeah, that’s kind of my reaction too. As much as I thought maybe it could work with them, now I’m wondering if they should just... cancel the whole thing,” she said very suddenly and loudly.

“What?” asked Jess, sure he looked as confused as he felt.

“The show, on TV, that we were talking about,” she said quickly, as Luke put her breakfast in front of her. “They should probably cancel it, it’s really gone downhill.”

Luke looked between Rory and Jess then shook his head and went on to serve other customers. Jess realised what had happened and rolled his eyes.

“Nice save, Gilmore,” he told her, not without sarcasm.

“Me and my big mouth” she muttered, sighing heavily. “I’m just going to eat my breakfast now, quietly.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jess agreed.

“Except, I did have one thing that I was going to say, to you, actually,” she said, looking more at her plate than at him. “I, er... Well, yesterday, at Weston’s, and actually, before that when we were emailing and I was talking about... stuff. You know, me and... and Logan stuff,” she said, taking a breath and making herself look at Jess, just at the moment he chose to glance away. “Jess, I’m sorry. Sometimes I don’t think about what I’m saying and to who I’m saying it.”

“To whom,” he corrected her, unable to keep from smiling as her face showed annoyance. He quickly took the opportunity to change subjects, knowing this was so not one he wanted to stick to. “By the way, I meant to ask, did you pick up the new Philip Roth yet?”

Rory shook her head, clearly thrown off, though she did answer the question eventually.

“Not yet, but it’s on my list. Did you get it already?”

Jess smiled as he leaned on the counter next to her and waxed lyrical about that novel and then another while Rory ate her breakfast. Apparently, they were okay for now and Rory couldn’t be more relieved. The opportunity to talk about books always pleased her. At least that was one topic that always made sense!


	8. Chapter 8

Hi Jess,

How was your Christmas? I thought of you on the day, wondered what you and the guys at Truncheon might be up to. I thought about calling but it was a little awkward from this end with Mom and Dad and everything, and I wasn’t sure where you would be or what you would be doing so I didn’t. I hope you got the card I sent anyway. I got yours, thanks, and strangely, a copy of the new Philip Roth from some unknown source. Santa must have decided I was a good girl, huh? Thank you, Jess. That was really sweet of you. I wish I had gotten you something too, I just didn’t think.

Well, things here are going okay. The break from Yale has not been a bad thing. I kind of feel ready to head back now, and as much as I feel bad about it, I’ll be glad to get out of the house. Mom and Dad aren’t fighting or anything but there’s just this atmosphere. They don’t get along like they used to and I even sort of wish they would just end things already. I almost told them that a couple of times but somehow, I just couldn’t. It feels wrong to want them apart, but what’s the point in being together if they’re unhappy? Sorry, you don’t want to hear all this. New topic.

I saw your mom the other day out with Doula. We only talked for a minute, but she was telling me how proud she is of you and how amazing it is that you’re an author and everything. I did nothing but agree with her, obviously. You really have achieved so much, Jess, and made so many people proud. It’s not just Liz and me, you know Luke couldn’t be happier about how things have worked out for you. I have seen him too, a couple of times. He was telling me about needing character references for his court case and I offered to write one, and then - you’re going to think this is crazy - but I said I’d ask my mom too. I haven’t done it yet, even though I’m almost sure she’ll agree, I’m just waiting for a moment when Dad’s not around, because somehow, I think that’s going to be a sore subject.

It’s so stupid. Shouldn’t it be obvious to them both that if they have to worry so much about past relationships and jealousies that maybe the wrong people are together? It frustrates me so much but I just feel like if I say something and everything gets worse, well, I couldn’t live with myself if I did that, you know?

So, Christmas has been strange, to say the least, and I’m not sorry it’s over for once. Me and Mom have our traditions, as you know, and we stick to them, but Dad wanted to start new ones too and it’s tough to explain to him that we don’t want that. After all, he just wants to feel more like part of our lives. Is it wrong that the response I want to give to that is, ‘Maybe you should’ve tried it sooner’? Well, I guess if anybody is going to understand that attitude, it’s probably going to be you.

Am I allowed to ask if you talk to your dad at all? I know you said you had a couple of times since you met him, but do you guys do the Christmas call or anything? If that’s none of my business, you can tell me. I guess I’m just trying to figure out how normal my relationship with my dad is, but then I think there really is no right or wrong in these things, is there?

Maybe I should make a New Year’s Resolution to be a little more dynamic in all my relationships. I feel like I sit around worrying too much about how I am with people but never really do anything about the problems. I’m trying harder with my mom and I’m really glad that you and I have reconnected, plus I’m determined to keep up my regular visits with Luke. He has always been there for me when I need him, since I was eleven years old, and I owe it to him to pay back the favour when he needs me. My dad is tougher to make things right with, and then there’s Logan. He’ll be back in a few days and then comes the big talk. We only spoke briefly before he left for London for the holidays and that was just to say that it was about time we sat down and discussed a few things, so that’s on the cards when he gets home soon. I’m not looking forward to it, not because I don’t know what to say to him, but more so because I think I’ve decided what I definitely do have to say. I’ll spare you the details, not least because I think he should hear my thoughts on our relationship before anybody else does, but you’ll be the first to know after the fact, I promise.

.

Rory stopped typing and took a minute to consider what she had already said so far. In some ways, she felt more comfortable now Jess was back in Philadelphia again. Writing to him like this had become normal so easily. It had almost been too weird when he was actually there in front of her. It was also great to see him though and she hoped maybe he would visit again before too long, or maybe she could go there, to Truncheon. After all, he had said she had a standing invitation.

Smiling at the thought, Rory put her hands back on the keyboard and prepared to type some more. She stopped short when she noted where she had gotten to in her email. Logan. He would be home in a few days, three to be precise, and then came the big talk. She had a feeling he would be looking for an apology and a reconciliation. Rory thought that was what she wanted too, at first, but more than a week spent apart and she found she wasn’t missing him like she should. In fact, a part of her almost wished he wasn’t coming back so soon.

It had really hit her, that day when she was talking to her mom about relationships, and suddenly Rory’s mind became very clear. The go-to guy in Lorelai’s life had always been Luke and he was perfect for her in all the ways a person should be if a couple wanted to be together, married, committed, happily ever after in love. Similarly, Rory had Jess to turn to in a crisis and he would always be there for her. She felt like she was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon, being hit right between the eyes by an oversized mallet as the realisation came. Jess was to her what Luke was to her mom, and Rory had been incredibly blind not to see it sooner. Surely, that had to mean something. As the Christmas break gave her time to think on it, Rory pondered the possibilities of exactly what it could mean, though she refused to let her mind wander too far until she had talked to Logan. She could not afford to screw things up with Jess, not this time.

* * *

“C’mon, man, it’s New Year’s Eve!” said Chris, clapping Jess on the shoulder as he passed by his desk. “You cannot stay here by yourself all night, that’s just sad.”

“One of us has to be fit to work in the morning,” he told his friends and co-workers. “Besides, there’s no rule that says you have to get wasted for New Year’s.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure there is,” said Matthew, rubbing his chin. “And hey, if there’s not, we’ll write it and print it and make it so. Isn’t that what we do?” he asked with a grin.

“You’re cracked.” Jess rolled his eyes.

“And you work too hard.” Chris reminded him. “It’s ten thirty already. At least come out with us until midnight, live a little. I promise when the new year dawns, we will let you come straight home if you really want to.”

With a heaving sigh, Jess shut down the computer and stood up from his desk, stretching out his back as he did so. Maybe he had been sat there a little too long, but the truth was, he hadn’t been working the whole time. An email from Rory had taken his attention the moment it arrived and he had read it a total of three times in the hours that followed. Well, not all of it, but particularly the last few paragraphs. The way she wrote about her impending big talk with the blond dick and how Jess himself would be the first to know what was happening once it had happened, it made him wonder, it made him hope, and Jess knew that was a dangerous path for his mind to be going down.

After that, talk got pretty general, and yet it also seemed to have meaning. Rory wrote a lot about the future, about planning where she was headed and being more sure of her direction now than ever before. Of course, she probably meant a job, a career path, all those things they had discussed about where she was going to go with her life after graduation from Yale. Still, the more Jess studied her words, the more he wondered if she was talking about something else, about the two of them.

“Maybe I do need a drink,” he said, more to himself than anyone, though it was his friends who answered.

“Yes, you do,” said Matthew definitely, ushering Jess out the door before he hardly put on his jacket.

“And the first round is on me,” said Chris happily. “Well, technically, it’s on my dad since he decided cash was the way to go for my Christmas gift, and I applaud that decision.”

The guys headed down to their usual local bar and, as expected, the place was packed with people out to celebrate the New Year. Jess never really understood the hype. After all, January 1st never looked all that much different to December 31st to him, or any other day in the calendar come to that. It wasn’t as if everything suddenly altered when the clock struck midnight or that they couldn’t change at any other time if you wanted them to.

Still, he had meant what he said about needing a drink and he was happy enough to be out with the guys, thinking about something other than work or Rory, both of which seemed to dominate his mind more often than they didn’t lately. Of course, when Chris started getting friendly with Sandy, the attractive bartender who he had been flirting with for weeks now, and Matthew decided Jess should be his wingman in attempting to pick up a potential kissing partner for midnight, things got a little less fun. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the girl he had been introduced to and eventually left alone with about a half hour ago. It’s just that she wasn’t who he intended to spend the evening with.

“Don’t you just love being used?” his date asked, pushing her red hair over her shoulder.

“I’m sorry?” he asked, barely hearing her, partly because he hadn’t really been listening for the last little while, but also because things were getting pretty loud in the venue.

“Being used, isn’t it great?” she tried again, smirking as she said it. “Angela always does this to me. ‘Come on, Jo, come to the bar. We’ll have a girls’ night, it’ll be great,’” she said clearly mimicking her friend. “Then some guy comes over and starts putting the moves on her. His buddy is there to back him up and I’m there to back her up, they decide they don’t need the help anymore, and here we are,” she said, looking at Jess and sighing. “No offence, I mean, you seem like you’re a really nice guy and everything.”

“Sometimes,” said Jess, smirking just the same way she was. “Not always.”

“Find me a guy that’s nice always,” she replied easily. “Find me any person who is. God, I shoulda stayed home tonight. I never get New Year’s. I mean, what’s really going to be different when the clock strikes midnight, you know?”

Jess laughed at that, he couldn’t help it.

“You read minds professionally?” he asked her, turning in his seat to face her a little more.

“Sometimes, not always,” she said smartly, copying his own words. “You’d rather be anywhere but here too, right? Don’t tell me, in front of an action movie or a football game?”

“I’m not against either thing, but mostly I prefer a book.”

“Meh, reading’s over-rated when they make everything into a movie these days anyway.”

When Jess almost spat beer all over the table, Jo couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow. Wrong person to say that too, huh? Each to their own, I guess. I think my mom wanted me to be a real committed reader. She named me after a character from a book, you know?”

“ _Little Women_?” Jess guessed.

“That’s the one.” Jo nodded, clearly impressed that he got it. “What kind of a name is Jess anyway, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“The kind of name your mom comes up with when she’s stoned,” he replied too seriously and he knew it.

“Wow,” said Jo, eyes wide with surprise. “You don’t look like the kind of guy that has a stoned mom.” She laughed the moment the words were out of her mouth. “It’s possible I’ve had one too many drinks already. What would that guy even look like?”

“I have no idea.” Jess shook his head.

Silence reigned a few moments, then Jo’s friend Angela laughed too loudly at something Matthew had said over by the bar. It sounded like nails on a chalk board to Jess but he tried not to react.

“She doesn’t have to do that.” Jo sighed. “I tried to tell her, that is not a sexy laugh, but does she listen?” She shook her head. “Mostly I think she’s just desperate to be kissed at midnight. No offence to your friend, but isn’t that what most of these people are here for?”

“Mostly, I guess,” Jess agreed.

“But not you,” Jo considered, turning to look at him straight on. “Y’know, I wasn’t entirely kidding before about the psychic thing. I am pretty good at reading people.”

“Oh, yeah?” asked Jess, smirking at the very idea but trying to hide at least some of his amusement in his beer bottle so as not to offend.

“I know, you probably think it’s stupid, but I’m serious. See, I think the real reason you’re not in the spirit tonight is because you know exactly who you wanna kiss at midnight, only she’s not here.”

Jess was determined not to show that she was right, but clearly, he looked surprised in some way because Jo started grinning.

“Now, the real question is why isn’t she with you? I mean, look at you, what girl runs from that face?” she said, only teasing a little bit, he was sure.

“She didn’t run. I did,” Jess told her. “The first time, anyway. It’s complicated.”

“Ain’t it always?” Jo sighed. “Well, whoever she is and wherever she is, she’s probably missing you just as much as you’re missing her.”

“Maybe,” said Jess, wondering when he considered it if perhaps it really was true.

Checking his watch, he saw it was getting ever closer to midnight. Just five minutes more and the big pointless moment would arrive. Jo looked about as bothered by the whole thing as he was and already made it plain she didn’t care much for the festivities. Maybe he wouldn’t be a complete jerk if he left her alone.

“Hey, would you excuse me for a minute? I need to make a call.”

“Knock yourself out.” Jo shrugged. “I’m seriously just waiting to see if Angie wants to share a cab home after midnight or if she and your friend are going to make a night of it. Honestly, I’d actually take it as a compliment if you didn’t want to use me as a place to put your tongue at midnight.”

“Duly noted,” said Jess, laughing at her attitude because it was difficult not to. “It was genuinely a pleasure to meet you, Jo,” he promised her even as he got up to leave.

“You too, Jess. Now go call your one true love before you miss the big moment,” she said, gesturing for him to be gone already.

Jess meant to correct her, but the truth was he didn’t know how. ‘One true love’ it was such a dumb phrase, reserved for Disney movies and romance novels. It wasn’t real, at least, Jess never thought so before. Then there was Rory and she put a whole different perspective on his life. He had told himself afterwards that he had been a fool to let her, now he knew that he was really only a fool if he didn’t make sure she knew she had options, and that one of them was still him.

Out in the alley behind the bar, Jess finally found some relative peace and quiet. He dialled Rory’s cell maybe a minute before midnight and hoped more than believed she would pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Ror. It’s me.”

“Jess? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just... I wanted to wish you a Happy New Year, I guess.”

“You’re a little early. There are still thirty seconds to go.”

“Well, I didn’t want to be late.”

“I’m glad you called.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You know Stars Hollow, the New Year celebrations ended at ten on Taylor’s say so, so I’m just at home with the TV on low, watching the ball drop in New York. My parents went to bed a while back. Where are you?”

“Outside a bar, freezing my ass off, but it’s worth it to hear your voice.”

“Jess...”

The countdown started up in the bar and Rory heard it through Jess’ phone, almost as loudly as if she were there. When they reached one and then an almighty cheer went up, Jess smiled to himself.

“Happy New Year, Rory.”

“Happy New Year, Jess,” she replied in kind, watching the ticker tape and balloons fall all over Times Square on the TV.

“It’s going to be a good one,” he told her softly in her ear. “This year is ours, Gilmore, you got that?”

“I got it,” she told him, with a smile he could just hear.

He really hoped she did understand what he meant by that, because as much as he would like to tell her, as much as he thought he could, what Jess had said before was true. Nothing really changed when the clock struck midnight. It might be three or four days yet, at least, before it could.


	9. Chapter 9

It was both as bad as she expected and worse, but when Rory finally walked out of Logan’s apartment having ended their relationship, she felt lighter somehow. It was tough and nasty and she hated that she hurt him, but in the end, she knew it was how it had to be.

Things with the two of them hadn’t been right for a long time, Rory had started to wonder if they had ever really been what they should be from the get go. After all, it had all been so casual in the beginning, she reinvented herself to be who he wanted, only for Logan to then try and remake himself into the kind of guy who could commit to her. Maybe it should have occurred to them both a great deal sooner that no relationship could really prosper in those circumstances, when both sides had altered themselves so much just to be what the other needed.

Rory wouldn’t deny that Logan loved her. She couldn’t deny that she felt the same. Love wasn’t the problem, it was everything else. They didn’t fit, they didn’t work. The more she thought about it, the more she knew they were together out of habit as much as anything, and even out of stubbornness, not willing to give up on a relationship that everyone else could probably see was doomed to fail all along. Well, they could all congratulate themselves on being right now, because it was over and done, for good this time.

As she reached her car, Rory realised too late that she was not going to be able to drive for a while. Getting into the driver’s seat, she planned to stay put, maybe put the radio on, take a minute and get her bearings. Some of things Logan had said in the last couple of hours were so hurtful, and yet she couldn’t entirely blame him. She was at fault too. Neither of them had handled this situation well, but at least it was over now, time to move on.

Rory felt something move in her pocket, and reached for her cell phone before it fell into the foot well. Switching it back on, she found a missed called from Lorelai and a text from Paris, proving she had been right to make sure it was off before she sat down with Logan today. A distraction was the last thing she needed in there, and she wasn’t so sure she really wanted to talk to her mom or her friend now either. Still, she didn’t put her phone away. Her thumb flipped to the contacts list and scrolled down. She had told Jess he would be the first to know what happened with her and Logan. Of all people, he would probably be the most glad to hear about the break-up, if only because he never had believed Rory and Logan were well-suited. Right now, she didn’t even care if he said ‘I told you do,’ though she doubted Jess would be so callous. She just wanted to hear his voice, the way he had with her on New Year’s.

Dialling the number, Rory put her cell to her ear and took a deep breath, trying to ensure her voice wouldn’t come out too shaky when she spoke. She never even got the chance for a ‘Hello’ as a message told her the number she was calling was busy.

It was only after she hung up from her unsuccessful call that Rory started to cry like her heart was breaking.

* * *

“I can’t believe you did that for me,” Luke told Jess, without preamble.

Of course, given the date and the time, his nephew didn’t need further explanation as to what he was talking about.

“Just tell me it worked,” he urged his uncle. “They gave you custody, right?”

“That’s not... They don’t tell me that today,” Luke explained. “I have to wait until the morning, but that letter? Jess, that was-”

“Hey, I’m a writer, it’s what I do,” his nephew told him fast.

There was silence then because neither had a clue what to say for the best. It wasn’t as if the Danes men were exactly known for talking about their feelings. Of course, that didn’t mean the feelings weren’t there. Uncle and nephew loved each other like father and son might, but it was an entirely unspoken thing and seemed set to remain that way, at least in person. The letter Jess had written for the court case, all about how his uncle had been the father figure he needed at exactly the right time in his life, that said a lot more than either of them could ever manage in spoken words, but Luke knew he had to try.

“That was more than being a writer, Jess,” he said too softly. “That was... I won’t forget that, and for what it’s worth, I feel the same. You know that, right?”

Jess swallowed hard, recalling the words he had written, knowing that Luke was pretty much telling him he saw him as a son right now. It was ridiculous how it took him so long to be able to answer that.

“I know,” he said eventually, “thanks.”

“No, thank you. You made a real difference,” Luke insisted. “I mean, like I said, we don’t get the answer until tomorrow morning, but with you and Rory and... and Lorelai.”

“They both wrote something too?” asked Jess, just a little surprised by that. “I mean, Rory said something about writing you a reference, I figured she’d come through, but when she told me she was planning on asking her mom-”

“She asked, and Lorelai delivered,” Luke told him, no doubt adjusting his hat with his free hand, Jess was just sure of it. “I wasn’t expecting it. I mean, I did think about asking her myself but you know how things are with us, or how they were, and I wasn’t so sure. Anyway, apparently, Rory asked. She figured the more positive character references the better, which I guess is right. Plus, as much as I appreciate you and Rory trying to help, you’re both so young... Lorelai was the adult, you know? She’s a local businesswoman, she has more pull with a court, I guess.”

“And if your ex can say all those good things about you, you really have to be that nice of a guy, right?” said Jess knowingly.

Luke laughed a little in his ear, because it did sound pretty strange.

“Yeah, something like that,” he agreed, “but like I said, your letter, and Rory’s letter, they mattered too. It’s amazing to me how you all came through for me and... and whether it works or not, I really do appreciate it.”

“Hey, after everything you’ve done for me, for all of us, it’s the least you deserve,” Jess told him definitely. “So, things with you and Lorelai are, what now? You talking at all?”

“Er, once, briefly,” he told Jess, sounding as awkward as his nephew had ever heard him. “We ran across each other in the street and I knew she had written the letter, so I thanked her. It’s still so weird seeing her... and with a wedding band.”

The last part came out as pained as it did bitter and Jess winced on Luke’s behalf. He kind of hated Lorelai for what she had done, marrying Rory’s father, playing happy families within a hundred feet of Luke who clearly adored her and always had. Maybe his uncle’s behaviour hadn’t been the best when it came to that relationship and the one he had to build with his suddenly appearing daughter, but Jess couldn’t help it, he sided with Luke because he had been there for him more than anyone else in his life ever had been before or since.

“You know, if there was a letter I could write to fix that, I would,” he said awkwardly. “Rory too, from what she said to me before.”

Luke sighed heavily into the phone.

“Yeah, well,” he said, clearing his throat. “Some things just aren’t meant to be. I just thought... me and Lorelai, I actually thought we were forever. What kind of fool was I?”

“Because she led you on with a cloak and a dagger?” said Jess, smirking some and unable to help it as he pictured the look of confusion that Luke was doubtless wearing now. “Gotta love that you’re so pop culture adjacent that you don’t even know that you made a reference,” he said, shaking his head. “But seriously, Luke, about the court case, I’m sure it’ll work out. April would be a lot worse off without you.”

“Thanks, Jess. Anyway, I should go, plenty to do here and I’m sure you’re the same.”

“You’ll let me know the result as soon as you get it, right?” his nephew checked.

“First call I make,” Luke promised. “Take it easy, nephew.”

“You too,” Jess replied before they ended their call.

Turning back to his computer, he reviewed the contents of his inbox, then scrolled to the email he wanted, hit reply, and began to type.

Rory,

I wasn’t sure if it was my turn to email you or your turn to email me. I know you wrote last, but then I called you at New Year’s, so I wondered what Miss Manners would say is the correct protocol? In the end, I decided that I didn’t hate myself enough to call your grandmother and ask, so I’m just going to email you and hope that’s cool.

Since we already covered Christmas on the phone the other night, how’s 2007 looking so far in Connecticut? I guess you’re back at Yale now and classes are probably taking a lot of your time. Work here is picking right up where it left off since the holidays and Truncheon is suddenly pretty busy with new submissions. I guess there were a lot of New Year’s resolutions made about finally seeing if author is a viable option or something. My inbox is overflowing with partial manuscripts and requests for editing, but hey, priorities, your email comes first.

So, Luke told me about the letter you wrote for his court case and that you even got your mom to write one too. That was pretty decent of you, Gilmore, and it cannot have been an easy conversation. I have to say, I think it was pretty cool of Lorelai too. I’m not stupid, I know Luke wasn’t exactly blameless in the breakup. For a whole bunch of reasons, she could’ve said no, but she didn’t, she really came through for him and that has to mean something, right?

I know, I probably shouldn’t read too much into. After all, your mom is married to your dad now, but from what you were telling me before, it isn’t going so well. That situation any better? I hope so, for your sake, if nothing else. You know I always want you to be happy, even if I wasn’t exactly the best at making it happen when I was around. It’s not exactly the thing I’m best at. I guess I get that from Liz, not that I can keep on blaming her. She’s definitely doing better these days, even I’ll admit that, and at least if things go wrong at all, there’s me and Luke to look out for Doula. Let’s hope the worst doesn’t happen though. I’m not sure I’d know where to start with a baby. That is way too scary a thought right now, when I’ve only just started properly taking care of myself. I think Luke would definitely have to pick up the slack, not for the first time.

Thank you for saying you’re going to keep in touch with him. I know that probably sounds weird because you’re not visiting him for me, but I’m still glad you’re making the effort, because I know what it means to him. Luke isn’t great at saying what he feels, that runs in the family, but seriously, Rory, you mean so much to him. Having you drop by to talk or whatever, it means a lot.

How’s the new dynamic attitude going in your other relationships? You mentioned you might have something to tell me after you catch up with the boyfriend. I can’t imagine what news you might have for me where he’s concerned.

.

Jess stopped typing and leaned back in his chair, reaching forward to delete that last sentence. Of course, he knew what the news could be, he just hardly dare admit it to himself, never mind Rory. All signs pointed toward Rory breaking up with the blond dick, at last, though what exactly that meant for Jess, he couldn’t quite decide. If the break up happened, and that was still a huge if with an awful lot of wishful thinking attached to it, it wasn’t necessarily just because Rory wanted to be with Jess. At this point, he wasn’t sure how a relationship between them would work even if they wanted to try.

“You’re an idiot,” he muttered to himself, rubbing a hand over his face.

He sat up to start typing again, reading the beginning of his latest paragraph before continuing to type.

* * *

How’s the new dynamic attitude going in your other relationships? You mentioned you might have something to tell me after you catch up with the boyfriend. I guess he isn’t home yet since I never got a call or anything. Looking forward to hearing that news whenever it does come in. Sounds like it might be worth hearing.

Anyway, work waits for no man, and like I said, I have plenty to do, so I’ll sign off here.

Take care of yourself, Gilmore,

Jess.

.

Rory finished reading the email and found herself smiling. Little did Jess know that she had been trying to call him just yesterday on the very subject of her talk with Logan. In fact, it was less than hour before this email was sent now that she looked at the time stamp.

It made her wonder if the busy tone she had gotten was from Luke being on the line to Jess. It would certainly make sense given how his email started and the fact that the custody case was being heard just yesterday. The result was due this morning, any time now, as far as she knew, but that, and a reply to Jess’ email, would have to wait. Much as work would not wait any longer for Jess, class would not wait for Rory, and today she had more reason than most to be on time.

Shutting down her laptop, she grabbed up her things and hurried down the hallway to class, glad to realise when she got there that she actually wasn’t late. After all, it was one Mr Richard Gilmore giving the lecture today. There was no way Rory wanted to miss a minute of her grandfather’s class.


	10. Chapter 10

It was maybe the very last place that Rory expected to be, sat in a hospital waiting area with her mom on one side and her grandma on the other. Today had started off so normal and ordinary, then suddenly it turned into one of the very worst days of her life.

There she was waiting for class to begin, Rory Gilmore, good student, with her pen poised over the page ready to take down notes on her own grandfather’s lecture. She never expected what happened next, but the events were burned into her brain so vividly she was sure she would never forget. Thinking of it now made her eyes well with tears she didn’t even know she had left, as her hand covered her mouth to keep the sobbing in.

“It’s okay, honey,” said Lorelai, voice sounding strained as she pulled Rory to her. “He’s tough. He’ll be okay,” she promised, even though she shouldn’t.

There were no guarantees right now. They all wanted to believe that he would be okay. Rory was hoping and wishing and praying with everything she had that she would see her grandpa again soon, alive and well, but it was a real possibility that she might not be able to.

“I have more calls to make,” said Emily, leaping up in the very next moment and moving away from her daughter and granddaughter.

“Mom, I can-” Lorelai began but she was already gone.

It was tough on everybody. None of the Gilmore women knew how to deal with this. It had been hard enough the last time, more than six years ago, when Richard had collapsed at Christmas and here they had all sat in panic and fear. Luke had been around then, and surprised them all when he turned up again today.

Lorelai wasn’t sure why she ever doubted him. After everything, Luke Danes was as steadfast and true as he had ever been, agreeing to Emily’s ridiculous list of tasks, heading off to carry them out to the letter. There was no-one else to help, no other men in their lives. Rory and Logan had broken up two days ago, and Lorelai and Chris just yesterday.

“I’m sorry,” said Rory, sitting up fast. “I should be stronger,” she said, pulling a hand across her face to remove the tears. “Grandpa needs us to be stronger.”

“I think he’ll understand a few tears, sweets,” said Lorelai, sniffing hard. “You think coffee would help?” she checked, pushing Rory’s hair back behind her ear for her.

“Couldn’t hurt,” she said, nodding her head.

Planting a kiss on her baby girl’s forehead, Lorelai got up and went in search of coffee. Alone in the waiting area, Rory wrapped her arms around herself even though she wasn’t really cold. She just felt so vulnerable and open, like an exposed nerve, as if any little thing could break her entirely. It was an awful feeling, the pain of it all, and yet she knew her grandfather was suffering worse.

Checking her watch, she realised it was a good eight hours since she had arrived in class this morning and been forced to watch her grandpa collapse from what seemed to be a heart attack. Since then nothing had really seemed real. A part of her still hoped she was going to wake up at any moment and find it was all a horrible nightmare.

“Rory?”

She looked up at the sound of her name, absolutely certain this really was a dream when she realised whose voice she just heard. Then she saw him striding towards her and shook her head in disbelief. It was only when he reached her at last, arms out to pull her up into his embrace, that she allowed herself to believe he was truly real.

“Oh, Jess,” she cried into his shoulder. “It was awful. It was so, so awful.”

“It’s okay. It’ll be okay,” he told her, holding her tight, allowing her to cling to him and bawl for just as long as she wanted to.

In any other circumstance, it probably would’ve been some kind of sweet torture to have her in his arms like this, knowing it all had to mean nothing. This wasn’t about them, Rory and Jess, the ongoing saga of what they were to each other, what they had been, what they might be. This was about two people who cared about each other, about one needing the other to just be a friend right now. It was one thing Jess felt fairly confident in not being able to screw up.

“How did you get here?” asked Rory, eventually pulling back enough to see his face. “How did you even know?”

“Luke called about the custody case, to let me know the result and everything,” he explained, frowning at the tear tracks on her face and reaching out to wipe them away on instinct. “You know how Stars Hollow is, he heard what happened and he told me. The second I got off the phone, I got my stuff together and headed to the airport. I’d’ve been here sooner but all the flights were full or they got cancelled...” he explained, shaking his head. “I got here as fast as I could.”

“Thank you,” said Rory shakily. “Thank you so much,” she told him, throwing herself back into his embrace as she cried all over again.

They were still stood there, clinging onto each other, when Lorelai returned with a vending machine coffee in each hand. It was a credit to her love of the beverage that she didn’t drop both cups at the sight that met her eyes.

“Wow. So wasn’t expecting this,” she said, wide eyed as Rory pulled away from Jess at last.

“Mom. Er, Jess... he heard about grandpa from Luke and he came straight here.”

“From Philadelphia?” she asked, eyes even wider then, if such a thing were even possible.

Jess nodded, not daring to say a word.

Lorelai handed one of the coffees to Rory then took a sip of her own.

“Okay. So, I’m pretty sure I’ve turned over two pages at once,” she said, shaking her head. “But now is so not the time for that. All sympathetic bodies welcome right now,” she said, giving Jess the smallest of smiles, not because it was him, just because it was literally all she had right now. “You want coffee? I can lead you to a machine.”

“I’m okay.” Jess shook his head, moving to sit down by Rory the moment she returned to her seat.

Lorelai joined them and silence reigned. It wasn’t as if Jess and Lorelai had anything to say to each other before, they certainly couldn’t think of anything now, and with the worry she and Rory were suffering, Jess wasn’t exactly expecting small talk anyway.

With a sigh, he leaned his head back against the wall, wondering, not for the first time, if he was a real fool for coming here like this. All his doubts about his actions were put to rest when he felt Rory’s hand find his own, fingers intertwining as she got a good hold on him and didn’t seem as if she planned to let go. Turning his head to the side, he found her looking at him, smiling just slightly. He returned the look and shifted a little closer, until her head found his shoulder.

* * *

Rory woke up, bleary-eyed and confused as to where she was at first. This wasn’t the apartment, and it wasn’t her bedroom at home either. Also, she wasn’t alone. Shifting a little and blinking hard against the half-light, the world around her slowly came into focus and her memories returned one after the other, dropping into place like cards in a deck. Yale. Grandpa. The heart attack. The hospital. Jess.

Despite all the heartache she had suffered, all the tears she had cried, a smile came to her face as she realised he was there. The news had been good, or at least not as bad as it could’ve been. Rory’s grandpa wasn’t dead, not even in too much danger anymore. He had to have surgery, but the doctors were confident about his recovery.

As soon as they knew he was out of danger, Lorelai had insisted that Rory go home and get some rest. Luke stayed with Lorelai, and Rory let Jess bring her back to the Hollow, though they hadn’t actually gone to her house in the end.

“Hey,” said Jess as he woke up and found her staring at him.

“Hi,” Rory replied, suddenly bashful now he was awake too. “Um, this is new,” she said, eyes everywhere but on him.

Jess smirked, he couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, well,” he said, shifting awkwardly. “At the time, you didn’t wanna let go of my hand, so...”

“I know.” Rory nodded.

It was strange, being in the same bed like that, albeit they were both fully-clothed. Stranger still perhaps that it was Luke’s bed. They were supposed to go to the Crap Shack last night, but Rory realised too late that her house keys were all the way back in New Haven. That had led them to the diner apartment, since Jess always had spares for the place. He had meant to take his old bed, which he supposed was April’s place now, and let Rory sleep in Luke’s bed, but like he said, she really hadn’t been too keen on letting go of him, so he stayed.

“I’m sorry,” she said then. “I didn’t mean to make things weird.”

“You didn’t,” Jess promised her. “Rory, you know that if you need me, I’m here.”

“I know,” she agreed, nodding her head, tears she didn’t know she had left to cry spilling down her cheeks.

His arms were around her in a second, pulling her in as close as he could get her, holding her while she cried some more. It had been a hell of a last twenty-four hours, that was for sure. Jess couldn’t help but think back to the email he had sent two days before, wondering vaguely if Rory saw it before all this happened.

They had been talking about such normal things in those emails, even on the phone at New Year’s. His biggest concern then had been if she was still dating the dick from Yale. If she was, Jess made a mental note to kill the guy for not being there now, when Rory needed him most, even if it had meant that Jess got the chance to step into the breach himself. It was only then as he thought about it more that Jess realised there had been another absence at the hospital, another person who should’ve been present in all of this family drama.

“Rory, where’s your dad?” he whispered in the dim light.

“I don’t know,” she sniffled against his shirt. “He and Mom had a fight, a big one. She tried to call him once but... but then Luke showed up.”

Jess closed his eyes, held Rory tighter, and kissed the top of her head when her voice went away again. He hated himself for feeling happy when she was so broken up over her grandpa, but it was tough. Lorelai getting rid of Christopher and making room for Luke again, it seemed like a step in the right direction to Jess, even if that probably wasn’t the right thing to say out loud right now.

“I’m so glad you’re here” she said then, words muffled, but clear enough to Jess given how close the two of them were.

“Me too,” he told her.

He couldn’t bring himself to ask where Logan was. It seemed to be tough enough for Rory to explain her dad’s absence, and if she and the entitled asshole were over, it probably wasn’t something she would be thrilled about. No break up was fun, after all, and Rory had cried too much already.

“I called you yesterday. No, the day before,” she said, pulling herself up beside him. “Sorry, time is a little wonky right now, but I called. The line was busy, I’m guessing it was Luke.”

“Probably.” Jess nodded, watching her push her hair back off her face.

“I wanted to tell you... about me and Logan,” she explained. “We broke up.”

Jess nodded again, without words this time. He really didn’t know what he was supposed to say to that. Admitting he was glad sounded callous, saying he was sorry would be an out and out lie. The state Rory was in right now, it seemed safer to let her talk and keep his own mouth shut.

“Now I guess I really have fixed everything,” she said softly, leaning closer again.

Tempting as it was to give in, Jess made himself be stronger. He hopped off the bed so fast he made his own head spin, but it had to be better than the alternative.

“I’ll make coffee,” he said fast, heading for the kitchen.

Immediately he remembered that Luke didn’t keep coffee up there and so, muttering about the same, headed down to the diner.

Rory stared after him a moment, blinking hard. She really hadn’t been expecting that reaction, but perhaps she should have done. Here she was, no doubt looking like a mess, having cried all over Jess for several hours straight, and then, when she finally told him she and Logan were over and thought about kissing him, he ran. Could she blame him in the circumstances, given what happened the last time? Not really, was the answer to that one.

Climbing out of bed, she scrubbed at her face with her hands, pushing her hair back and straightening it out as best she could with only her fingers to use as a comb. She had to use the bathroom and washed her face in the sink after she washed her hands.

When she came out, Jess still wasn’t back yet and so she went in search of him. Rory found him staring blankly at the coffee machine that had since fallen silent. Instead of pouring their drinks, he was just standing there, presumably lost in thought. Rory could relate.

“Jess?” she said, her hand reaching out to his shoulder.

He was suddenly in motion, before she quite made contact, pouring coffee into two large mugs, handing one to her without pause.

“Thanks,” she said, blowing on the surface of her drink before she dared to take a sip.

When she looked towards the windows she could see it was still mostly dark out, not quite dawn. God only knew what time it was, but time seemed to have lost all meaning from the moment Rory saw her grandfather collapse. She wasn’t even really certain what day it was anymore.

“Did you break up with him or did he break up with you?”

The question came so suddenly it actually made Rory jump, though that might’ve been more to do with the fact it was the first time she had heard Jess' voice at full volume since he arrived. It had all been whispers and soft comforting tones up to now. She supposed she couldn’t blame him for getting back to normal eventually, everything was going to have to at some point. Besides, he was asking a perfectly valid question and he deserved a proper answer too.

“Um, it was sort of mutual, in a way,” she said, gazing into her coffee a while. “But I guess, mostly, I broke up with him.”

She glanced up when she was done talking, in time to see Jess visibly let out a long breath. Rory wanted to ask what that meant, but she didn’t really dare.

“Okay,” he said eventually, nodding his head. “Maybe you really did fix everything this time.”

“No one person can fix everything,” said Rory, biting her lip, thinking of her grandpa again, that much was clear.

Jess moved to her side and put his arm around her one more time, squeezing her to him. He had no idea what to say anymore and it seemed she didn’t either.


	11. Chapter 11

“I know you don’t get it, Matthew, you told me three times already, but for as long as they need me here, I’m staying,” said Jess into the phone.

He was pacing the diner apartment, feeling more than a little restless, as he tried to get his friends to understand why he wasn’t back in Philly already. The truth was, Jess hadn’t intended to stay in Stars Hollow very long. He really didn’t have a plan as such when he made a run for the airport and got there just as fast as he could when Rory needed him. Now, he knew he should be getting back to what passed for his home, and yet, he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it.

“You’re an idiot, Mariano,” his buddy told him. “We’re talking about the girl who stomped all over your heart less than a year ago.”

“We’re talking about a woman I care about,” he said snippily. “I’m not saying Rory is perfect, who the hell is, but she’s been through a lot lately and... and she needs a friend.”

“Man, if we just thought you wanted to be her friend there wouldn’t be a problem here,” said Chris, alerting Jess to the fact that he must be on speaker, which he hadn’t known before. “She’s still dating the other guy, right?”

“Wrong,” said Jess immediately. “They actually broke up, not that it makes any difference, not right now anyway,” he explained, rubbing his forehead. “I just... Look, her grandfather almost died, her parents are probably getting a divorce, and Rory needs a friend. Everything else is... everything else” he said lamely, and he knew it. “All you guys need to know is I probably won’t be home for a couple more days. You can deal, right?”

“Actually-” Matthew began, but Chris cut him off.

“We got it covered, Jess,” he promised. “You do what you need to do.”

“Thanks, man,” said Jess, promising to check in when he knew more and ending the call with his friends.

Hanging up the phone, Jess tossed the handset onto the bed and sighed. It was still weird being back here, especially since his side of the diner apartment had become April’s room. It felt wrong to invade what was now her space, but Luke had insisted on having him stay over. Other options were limited, so Jess decided not to argue. Besides it was only supposed to be for one or two nights. It had already been three now, though the first he hadn’t slept in his old bed but Luke’s instead.

Turning around, Jess stared in that direction and a half-smile came to his lips. Waking up with Rory had been something else. It was only the circumstances that ruined it all. She was so broken up over her grandfather, there was no possible way Jess could say or do any of the things he most wanted to, even when she admitted that she and the dick from Yale were well and truly over this time. What kind of ass would put the moves on a woman that vulnerable? Jess knew he couldn’t do it. He knew Luke felt much the same, which was why he was acting so weird around Lorelai too.

It seemed like Christopher Hayden was gone for good. The way Rory told it, he had eventually called Lorelai back and sympathised about Richard’s problems. Still, the next time the Gilmore girls saw Hayden it was going to be when he came to pick up his stuff from the house and that would be that.

Jess knew Rory had long since realised her parents were not well-suited anymore, and yet, it seemed to hurt to see them actually split up. Relationships were just too damn complicated sometimes, and none more so than the one between the two of them, Jess thought, as he moved over to the window and looked out. As if she knew he was thinking of her, Rory wandered into view, crossing the town square to meet Lane and stop to talk.

A sigh escaped Jess’ lips and he wondered why he ever told Chris and Matthew that he wasn’t coming home yet. He wondered what good he was really doing anyone by staying. Now Richard’s surgery was complete, he wasn’t exactly going to be entering any dance competitions or running any races, but he was out of danger. Rory wouldn’t need the support Jess had originally offered her. In fact, she would be back at Yale pretty soon. Besides, being around her, close but not close enough, it was torture for Jess. Finally, here was the moment they had been waiting for, for Rory to be free from Logan, for everything to be fixed. Not that Jess expected it to be easy even then, not with their history, not with them living so far apart and everything, but it might’ve been a start, if not for the fact that any move he made now would feel like taking advantage.

“Hey,” said Luke as he let himself into the apartment. “Everything okay?”

Jess turned away from the window and faced his uncle, nodding his head.

“Sure, yeah,” he said, as unconvincingly as he ever said anything and they both knew it.

“We’ve got some serious problems, you know that, nephew?” said Luke, sighing heavily. “Those Gilmore girls, huh?”

“Yeah.” Jess smirked, unable to help it. “I’m starting to think there’s some kind of voodoo at work with them that makes it impossible to move on.”

“Glad I’m not the only one thinking that,” said Luke, shaking his head. “At least you and Rory are friends again, that’s not nothing.”

“You’re right.” Jess nodded. “Of course, for a while there, I thought... Well, you know she broke up with Huntzberger, right?”

“I didn’t.” Luke shook his head. “She do that for you?”

“I didn’t ask,” admitted Jess, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Honestly? Right now, I don’t even want to know. She needs time to get her head straight and I...”

“Need time to get your head straight too?” Luke guessed. “Tread carefully, nephew,” he advised, coming closer and putting a hand on Jess’ shoulder. “You’re a good guy, Jess, and Rory is the sweetest person I know, but the two of you... Well, I just don’t want either of you ending up hurt this time around.”

“You’re not the only one,” Jess agreed. “Maybe I should just call it a day and get out. This place is... I don’t know, I think I was safer in Philly.”

Luke couldn’t say he didn’t understand that remark. As much as he loved having his nephew come visit in the Hollow, he did know how tough it was for Jess and for Rory as they figured out exactly what they were to each other and what they might yet be. It was a similar situation with himself and Lorelai.

Of course, he still loved her. Luke was pretty sure he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, because for a while there, he had wanted to. It would be so much easier if he could just switch off all these feelings he had for Lorelai, but they had been there in some form or other since the day they met, and Luke had a feeling he would be holding onto them all, until the day he died.

“Can’t be a bad thing that Hayden’s out of the picture,” said Jess then.

Luke smiled slightly.

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s just that simple. I don’t know if me and Lorelai can ever make anything work, Jess. I’m not sure if she wants to try and as much as I... well, I don’t know if I can do that again.”

Jess knew exactly what his uncle meant. Though he was the one to screw up the first time with Rory, getting his feelings stomped on last year when she came to Truncheon and made use of him the way she had, it had almost been enough to convince Jess to leave well alone from there on out. If Rory hadn’t emailed him a few months ago, maybe he would have steered clear, but now, talking to her again, seeing her again, having her close and wondering if maybe she was feeling the same, he couldn’t help himself. Jess never understood the way his mom was about alcohol or drugs, but damn it, if he didn’t know what it was to be addicted, to not be willing to give up on that addiction, even when you knew it was likely to do you more harm than good in the end.

“Never say never,” he said eventually, meeting Luke’s eyes. “Come on, after everything we’ve lived through so far? Sometimes it’s worth one more shot, right?”

Luke considered that for a moment and then eventually nodded.

“Maybe.”

* * *

Rory walked through the town square, glad to fill her lungs with fresh air and feel the sun on her face. She had been indoors too much, at the hospital, at the diner, and at the house, not to mention her grandparents place. With all the drama of her grandfather’s collapse, her own break up, and her parents split too, she just needed to get out in the world and do something normal for an hour or two, so she made a list with her mom and then set out for groceries and such from the local stores. She met up with Lane more by chance than anything and caught up with her too. It just felt good to be normal and free for a little while before she had to get back to Yale later today and try to buckle down to work again.

“You look happier.”

She turned towards his voice and found herself squinting against the sun, not that she minded at all. Honestly, Rory was only glad that Jess had stuck around this long. She felt a little bad for being shocked that he came in the first place, but she certainly couldn’t imagine being any happier he was here if she tried.

“There are not a whole lot of people who would go into Doosey’s store and actually come out smiling,” said Jess as he met her on the sidewalk, moving so she wasn’t getting blinded just trying to face him.

“To be fair, Taylor isn’t actually in there right now,” she noted. “I think I just feel better about life today. Things are finally getting settled. Grandpa is doing better and even though things with my parents aren’t in a good place, they’re a little more final. He’s leaving, they’re done with this crazy marriage thing. I guess at least now they know for sure that it can’t ever work. No more wondering.”

“Because that would be bad, to always wonder,” said Jess with a knowing look.

A second later, he glanced away, shaking his head, and Rory wasn’t sure what to make of it. She wanted to ask but felt weird. Things between her and Jess were as unresolved as ever and she couldn’t really say she didn’t know why. As much as she had everything fixed now, including officially ending things with Logan, she and Jess never did get as far as talking about what that might mean for them. With everything else that had been going on, of course, it was understandable, but maybe in the next few days they would get their chance.

“So, er, I’m heading back to Philly pretty soon,” he said suddenly.

“Oh, right. Of course, you have work and stuff.” Rory nodded. “So, when are you leaving?”

“Today,” Jess told her, so abruptly that she actually jumped.

“Today?” she echoed, not entirely surprised by the ache it caused in her chest. “Um, I didn’t... Sorry, I just thought maybe it’d be a couple of days yet, but I guess if you have to go.”

“I do,” he confirmed, nodding his head.

The two of them shifted awkwardly, especially when Miss Patty walked by giving them both a hearty good morning and a significant look to go along with. It was like everybody in town knew what could potentially still exist between them but they weren’t saying anything either, at least, not out loud.

“So, I guess I’ll email you or you’ll email me, whatever,” said Jess eventually, “and you know, the invitation still stands,” he said, smiling when Rory looked up and met his eyes. “Any time you want to escape this crazy place, get away from Yale for a weekend or whatever, you’re welcome at Truncheon.”

“Thank you, Jess,” she told him gratefully. “And I don’t just mean for the standing invitation either. Thank you for being here these past few days. I really needed someone. I really needed you.”

He nodded that he understood and Rory suddenly got brave, pushing herself forward and wrapping her arms around him in a big hug. Jess hugged her back, and it all felt so wonderfully, painfully familiar to be in his arms.

“You take care of yourself, okay, Gilmore?” he said as they pulled apart just enough to see each other’s face.

“You too, Mariano,” she replied, smirking just like he was.

It was supposed to be less intimate, she supposed, friendly hugs and last names only, but it didn’t really work. She felt that same pull she always did when she was within a few feet of Jess. He was the one person she could always rely on lately, for sage advice and genuine support. He was her best friend, for lack of a better term, and yet there was so much more to it than that, that inexplicable attraction that seemed to have existed between them since day one, that pull on Rory that made her want to get closer, always closer.

Deciding it was now or never, she pushed herself forward again, letting her lips find Jess’ own. She half expected him to back off before she could really make contact, maybe even get mad at her for doing this to him again, but it was different this time. She really had fixed everything, she really was sure that this was what she wanted. Over Christmas and New Year’s, as things evolved between them, the things he said in his emails and that call he made to her, he sounded like they were on the same page. That said, it had seemed that way before with the two of them, and yet.

All Rory cared about in that moment was that when she kissed Jess, he kissed back. He wasn’t trying to get away from her, if anything he was pulling her closer, holding her tighter. They were both lost in the thrill of the moment for a while, and then both seemed to come to their senses at the same time. After all, they were standing in the street where everyone could see them, probably best not to get too carried away.

“So,” she said, catching her breath at last, “I guess I’ll see you soon.”

“I hope so.” Jess nodded, smiling more than a little.

He turned to leave then and Rory watched him walk away, a part of her just itching to run after him and ask him to stay. That would do no good and she knew it. Jess had a life in Philadelphia, and for the next few months at least, her life was in Stars Hollow and New Haven. After that, who knew what the future held, but Rory was certain of one thing. She wanted Jess to be a part of whatever came next for her, and after that kiss, she was pretty sure that was what he wanted too.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey Jess,

Sorry it’s taken me a while to finally write again, but things have been kind of crazy here. Apparently, the closer a person gets to graduating college, the more pressure is piled onto that person. Who knew, right? Some days I feel like my head is going to explode. Also, how are we almost half way through February already? Just a minute ago it was Christmas and New Year. Time really is flying by!

Well, I’m happy to report that as fast as the world seems to be spinning, things are going pretty well around here, as far as I can tell. Grandpa is doing so much better since his operation. I think having him around so much, unable to do what he normally does, is starting to drive Grandma a little crazy, but she’s dealing. After coming so close to losing him, I don’t think even the great Emily Gilmore would dare to complain about her husband being under her feet.

I’ve been to visit with them a couple of times and distracted Grandpa with book talk. Your name came up in one of our conversations actually and I told him how you already published one book and hopefully you’ll write more. He sounded really interested in The Subsect and I almost offered to lend him my copy, but honestly, I was a little too embarrassed to actually do it. It looks as if I’ve had it for years, not just eighteen months or so. I don’t know what it is, I just love to read it over and over. Actually, that’s not true, I do know what it is. It’s just so you, Jess. In the absence of actual you, reading your words comes a very close second. You’re an amazing author, you know that, right? I don’t think I’ve said that enough, so there it is.

Anyway, I really have to get another copy to give to Grandpa, so if you could let me know which stores you got it into locally, that would really help me out. I wish I had time to visit every book store in a five miles radius, but sadly, that is just not true right now and I can’t see it happening any time soon either.

As much as I’m complaining about being so busy, things at Yale are good. I’m handling the classes and the papers and everything, plus still contributing to the Yale Daily News when I can. I even wrote another potential article for that website that I submitted to before and I’m attaching it for your eagle eyes to read over. I’m not asking you to be my unpaid editor or anything, I just like to have your opinion on these things. You are an expert after all and my most trusted critic.

Aside from work, I managed to fix things with my friend Lucy. I’m not sure I ever told you the whole story on that one, did I? The short version is that her boyfriend is a guy I used to know, Marty, and he used to like me a little more than I liked him. Anyway, Lucy and I became friends without knowing we had a Marty connection and then when I did finally meet the guy, who she only ever called ‘boyfriend’ when she talked about him, he acted like he didn’t know me, so I acted like I didn’t know him. When Lucy found out we did know each other before, of course, she was not happy and I had to do a lot of apologising to get that friendship back on track, but in the end, I’m glad I made the effort. She’s a really sweet person and honestly, as much as I love Paris, a little non-crazy company is nice sometimes. It’s not like I can even turn to Lane for sane conversation these days, what with the pregnancy hormones and all. Oh, did I mention that Sookie is also pregnant now? That came as a surprise to everyone given   
that Jackson was supposed to have ‘dealt with his situation’ after Martha was born, but yes, two pregnant ladies in my life. I feel so old all of a sudden, like I should really be acting like such a grown up, and yet most of the time, I still feel like such a kid, especially now. Especially since the day you left Stars Hollow.

Luke is missing you, you know? He’s mentioned you a few times when I’ve been in the diner, and here’s the best part, my mom has been into the diner with me too! Crazy as Yale is, I do try to make sure I get home at least on the weekends to see both Mom and Luke, and I have to admit, it really was great to be in the diner with both of them at the same time again.

Obviously, it’s not quite how it used to be. They talk, but not the way they did before, and I guess it’ll be a while before they get there, if they ever do. Still, building bridges is good, even if it takes time. It doesn’t help much that everyone in town is talking about them, but you know Stars Hollow and it’s gossiping townies - they will not be denied. I’ve had a few comments myself about you and me and a certain moment that it turns out more than a few people saw the day you left. I’m not telling them anything. Honestly, I wouldn’t know what to say if I did want to. I guess at some point we need to talk about that, but for now, I just like to relive that moment every once in a while, and smile about it. I really hope you feel the same, Jess, because, well, I’d hate for you to think this was like before. I really did fix everything this time. I’m sure about what I’m doing. I guess I just need you to tell me that it’s the same for you, assuming that it is.

Anyway, I hope everything is going well at Truncheon and that the guys weren’t mad at you for leaving them the way you did. I guess I should be thanking them for lending you to me for those few days, not that they seemed to get a choice. I think in those kinds of extenuating circumstances, they couldn’t mind too much, right? The truth is, I actually would have loved if you could stay longer. All the time we were apart, not seeing each other, not even talking, and now, it’s been less than two weeks since you went home and I feel like it’s been forever. I guess what I’m trying to say, Jess, is that I miss you. I really, really do.

.

Jess smiled to himself as he got towards the end of Rory’s latest email. For a while there, he had got a little worried. The way they left things seemed so positive, that pretty intense kiss on the streets of Stars Hollow, that ought to mean something, especially being as public a moment as it was. Still, when days passed by, totalling a week and then more, he started to wonder and worry. Rory definitely said she would email next, it was her turn after all, and he kept on waiting, trying to be patient and failing badly.

Of course, it occurred to Jess that maybe he ought to check in. He could email her if he wanted to or even call and ask if she was okay. There was the option of going in via Luke too, checking with his uncle that nothing terrible had happened with Rory or her family since he left, but Jess kept on telling himself just to hold his nerve. After that kiss, he needed for Rory to make the next move, whatever that might be, and now at least, she had.

She said that she missed him, which made him feel better, not least because he was missing her like hell too. Chris and Matthew had noticed the change in his mood lately, the way he came back from his trip grinning, only to turn sullen after a few days had passed with no word from Rory. They seemed to enjoy telling him about his mood swings, warning him of the possible negative effect Rory was already having on his personality. Jess didn’t want to hear it and made that very plain to them both. He also gave them fair warning that Rory had a standing invitation to visit Truncheon and that, if she did, they better be on their best behaviour.

“When are we ever anything but well-behaved?” asked Chris, apparently wounded by the suggestion.

Jess looked more significantly at Matthew, who grabbed his chest as if shot in the heart.

“Ouch,” he exclaimed dramatically. “That stings, Jess.”

“You don’t exactly act like you’d make Rory welcome,” he told his friend definitely. “I get that it’s in some attempt at brothers in arms solidarity, but I’m asking you, man, please, if she shows up here, be cool.”

Matthew had grudgingly agreed to play nice, and Jess wanted to believe that he would follow through if the occasion arose. The truth was, he had no guarantee yet that it would. Rory said she missed him and Jess certainly missed her. He would love for her to visit, but if Yale was keeping her as busy as she implied, it was likely to be at least spring break before she got the chance. That was almost a month away, and Rory hadn’t been wrong about a week feeling like forever. Still, he really couldn’t afford the time or the money to go back to Connecticut right now.

On top of that, he was wary yet of Rory’s feelings. He wanted to be sure, but after the way things had gone down the last time, he really needed a more definite sign that she planned to make this thing work with them before he allowed himself to jump in with both feet. Her coming back to Philly would be the perfect example of her being really sure, so he might at least mention it in passing when he wrote back.

Hitting reply on her email, he began to type a reply, stopping quickly after one paragraph. He could write back now but if he did he was likely to hit send right after. Well, not immediately, he needed to review Rory’s article and give feedback on that too. Still, if he started he probably wouldn’t stop until he was done, and then he would be tempted to send it all off right away.

“Desperation, not a good look,” he muttered to himself, saving what he had so far into his Drafts folder and then closing the email client down.

Backing his chair away from the desk, Jess eventually decided to get up and leave altogether. If he stayed near the computer he was going to be stupid and nobody needed that. Grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair, he threw it on, picked up his bag and headed for the door. He passed by Matthew on the way.

“I’m headed out for a couple of hours, work on my latest,” he said, tapping the messenger bag where his notebooks often lived.

“You do seem more inspired lately,” his friend noted. “I’ll give the girlfriend that much credit,” he added with a smirk.

Jess rolled his eyes. “Rory is not my girlfriend.”

It was true, as far as he knew, though there was a possibility that she could hold that title again pretty soon. Nothing was definite yet and it was a conversation they absolutely had to have. Somehow, Jess didn’t think email was the right medium for that, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to do it on the phone, though if Rory called with that topic in mind, he wouldn’t exactly hang up on her. 

“Whatever she is, she makes you want to pour your heart and soul onto paper,” said Matthew, getting Jess’ attention before he quite made it out of the door. “Not a bad thing.”

“You need your own girlfriend so you keep your nose out of my business,” said Jess smartly, walking away before Matthew could retort.

He didn’t quite make it.

“Ah-ha. So, she is your girlfriend!”

Jess only smiled as he headed out into the Philadelphia streets, breathing in the good fresh air, and enjoying the warmth of the same winter sun that was also shining on Connecticut and a girl with the bluest eyes he had ever seen. Today really did feel like a good day for writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this fic is now going on hold ‘til 2019. I do this every year as I have a lot of other stuff to do in December, including Christmas-related fics and of course plenty of RL things too. Please rest assured, this story will be back in the new year, and hey, I think we’re leaving it in quite a nice place, don’t you? :)


	13. Chapter 13

Hi Rory,

It’s weird, I had a whole paragraph written, but I deleted it to start over. Then I only got as far as ‘hi’ before sitting here for a half hour just staring at the blank screen not knowing how to really start again. Not good for a writer, I know. Don’t worry, the actual writing is going better. The guys keep going on and on about how the only reason I’m suddenly writing so well is because I got my muse back. That’s you by the way, and they’re not entirely wrong, but don’t let it go to your head, okay?

What you said in your email, well, it’s the same for me, Ror. I miss you too. The difference is I don’t think I ever really stopped missing you, even when I didn’t have a right too. Every time I left Stars Hollow, you were the one thing I missed about the crazy place. I guess I kind of missed Luke sometimes too, but mostly you, and now it’s worse because for once I know for sure you didn’t want me to go.

Wow, this is getting depressing. It’s not like we live on either side of the Berlin wall or anything. We’ll see each other, it’ll be cool. Besides, we wouldn’t be us if there weren’t a few barriers keeping us apart. This is just how it is with you and me, right? We got this far, I guess we’ll be fine.

Don’t worry so much about not emailing for a while. I get it. Yale must be pretty crazed since you’re getting so close to grad. That’s May, right? Seems like five minutes ago you were telling me all about your plans for Yale and now it’s almost over. I guess you’re right, time really does fly. Just try not to stress too much and maybe limit the time you spend with Paris Geller, because I know from experience that she never helps with that. I know you guys live together, but you can escape back to the Hollow sometimes or hide in the library or something, right? Just don’t let her pull you into her level of crazy, please. I’d hate to have to come over there and put you back on track all over again.

Good news about your grandfather. I’m glad he’s doing better. You know I guess someday he and I should actually officially meet. I know things didn’t go so well that night I met Emily, but I like to think we’ve all grown since then. Besides, Richard doesn’t sound so scary, especially since he apparently wants to read The Subsect. I don’t know how you do it, Gilmore, but you’re my greatest unpaid sales rep. Not that I plan on making any money out of you or your grandfather. I put two copies in the mail to your house and I even signed one. I can’t believe Richard is going to like it much, but at least we get a chance to find out now, and you can replace your poor dog-eared copy already too. I still can’t believe you love it all that much. I look back on it now and I’m sure I can do better. I hope I am doing better with this second novel but I guess we’ll see.

Your writing, on the other hand, I am always sure about. Another amazing piece, Miss Gilmore. I think your friend with the website is going to be a happy man for just as long as you keep on sending in your articles. You have great insight and a unique voice, Ror. I know you’ll go far. You should definitely make a big deal out of this work you’re doing when you apply for jobs after Yale. Pretty sure you’ll have your pick of papers to go to, if that’s still what you want, but then I doubt you needed me to tell you that. You know how good you are, and if you don’t, you really should.

Sounds as if you made the best out of a weird situation with your friend at Yale. This Marty seems like some kind of jerk and from what you’ve told me, Lucy is better off without him. There’s an idea, spend more time with her in order to avoid Paris, unless she’s as much of a freak as Geller. I doubt that anybody could be, but you never know. It is cool that you made good friends in college, because those can be hard to come by. I know I was lucky to meet Chris and Matthew, not that I tell them that if I can help it, but they’re good people, they have my back. That’s not nothing. I’m telling you this because, in having my best interest at heart, they might not be entirely friendly if and when you come visit. It’s Matthew mostly, he seems to think he’s my protector sometimes. I have tried telling him I’m a grown up and I can look after myself but I guess it’s my own fault. They got to hear about what happened with us last year when I had drunk more than I probably should have. I’m sorry, Ror, it was none of th  
eir business and I should have kept my big mouth shut, but you know how it is when it just hurts too much.

Anyway, the past is past and moving forward is important. It certainly sounds as if Luke and Lorelai are making progress in at least being friends again, so that’s cool. I actually talked to him a couple of days ago and he was also telling me how she comes into the diner sometimes now. Not as much as she used to and mostly only when you’re there, but he seems happy to be talking to her again. That whole thing is just such an unholy mess and despite what I said before, I can’t exactly put all the blame on your mom. I’m pretty sure Luke didn’t handle the April situation so well, in fact, he even admitted himself he had trouble balancing real live fatherhood with his relationship with Lorelai. Do I think the answer was for her to go sleep with your father? Not a chance, but everybody makes mistakes, right? I for one should not be throwing stones from my glass house, I know that much. I just hope they can get through this, find a way to get back to at least being the kind of friends they were before. I know it’s   
a long-shot, but Luke’s the best guy I know, I just want him to be happy. Maybe I’m getting softer as I get older. Scary thought.

The rumour mill in the Hollow must be running red-hot between Luke and Lorelai and you and me. You’re not wrong about us needing to talk about that whole situation, but honestly, Rory, I don’t know where to start. I know you said you fixed everything, got rid of Huntzberger, figured out what you want, but it’s us. It’s you and me, going down this road again, the same one that we both screwed up on so many times over. I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t, and that’s the honest truth. It’s not that I don’t feel the same way about you anymore because I do, but it’s been a long time, a lot’s happened. Like I said, you’re right, we probably do need to talk this out, but I doubt email is the right way.

Anyway, it’s getting late and I should probably call it a night. Let me know if your grandpa really does like the book, because you’ve really got me curious about that now.

Jess.

.

Rory sighed as she reached the end of the email. It must have been her sixth time of reading it and still she wasn’t sure how to respond. She started writing a reply several times over the last few days since she received Jess’ message. She also picked up the phone more than once to call instead, but neither thing ever actually happened.

Everything between them was so undefined, so unstable. Rory’s biggest fear was upsetting the near-balance they had achieved the last time Jess visited, or screwing up again and never getting another chance like this one.

“Hey, hon,” said Lorelai as she let herself into the house and found Rory on the couch. “I didn’t know you were home.”

“I didn’t have any more classes and I needed a Paris-free weekend,” she explained, forcing a smile that didn’t last too long. “Everything okay at the inn?”

“Everything’s fine.” Lorelai nodded. “Well, with me. You on the other hand,” she said with a look as she sat down heavily in the armchair. “What’s got you down, babe? Because that kind of sad comes from more than Paris being a pain.”

“It’s Jess,” said Rory with a heavy sigh. “But before you ask, he hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Hey, I said nothing,” Lorelai replied, hands raised in mock-surrender. “I told you when he was here before and you said things might be happening again that I am most definitely staying out of it this time. After the train wreck that is my love life in the last year, I have absolutely no right to judge you on your choices.”

Rory couldn’t exactly argue with that and didn’t feel the need to. Her mom had been almost worryingly supportive about her breaking up with Logan, but the positive thing was, she really hadn’t shown too much concern about the potential getting back together with Jess situation. Lorelai had offered a general ‘be careful’ warning because she always hated to see Rory get hurt, but that was all.

“I appreciate the non-judgement,” she said, nodding her head. “It’s just... well, Jess and I are pretty undefined right now. I mean, we’ve been talking a lot, mostly by email, and we’ve really reconnected. He helped me see that I need to get serious about my future and my career, he helped me out with the articles I’ve been writing, and he really put my relationship with Logan into perspective. Plus he encouraged me not to lose touch with Luke despite the weirdness of the situation with you guys.”

“All good so far,” Lorelai had to admit. “Wow, that kid really grew up, didn’t he?”

“He really did.” Rory smiled widely. “And we’re getting along so well, and then when Grandpa was in the hospital, he was so amazing. I needed a friend and he was right there.”

“I think that’s a Danes trait.” Lorelai nodded, not elaborating further.

Of course, Rory knew what she meant. The people who turned up that day to do whatever they could to help were Luke and Jess. Not Christopher, nobody else. Of course, everyone in town was super helpful after the event, as they always were, but Luke and Jess were essentially just the exes, they didn’t have to be there, they owed the Gilmore girls nothing at this point, and yet, there they were.

“So, before Jess left, you know he and I-”

“Made out in front of the whole town,” said Lorelai, grinning too much.

“Kissed a little,” Rory amended with a look. “But then he left and we really didn’t get a chance to talk about what that meant for us, what we were to each other. We’ve emailed since then but how can we define our relationship in writing like that, waiting for days for a response all the time? It’s crazy.”

“You know, before there was email, they had these devices where you could press a bunch of numbers and a connection was made and you could actually talk to the person on the other end,” said Lorelai, in full sarcasm mode as she reached for the phone receiver. “Hey, look, I just happen to have one of those magical devices right here!”

“You’re hilarious,” Rory dead-panned.

“True, but mostly, I’m right,” Lorelai countered, tossing the phone into Rory’s hands. “You need to know where you stand, babe, and so does Jess. Talk it out. Trust me, I know, relationships fail when you don’t talk.”

She wore an expression that spoke volumes and that made Rory so sad. Lorelai had been through two bad break ups inside of a year, first with Luke, and then with Christopher. Communication breakdowns had been a major part of both messy endings. Rory would hate to have her own relationship with Jess fall to pieces before it had hardly begun again.

“I think I’m gonna go take a nice, long bubble bath,” said Lorelai, turning towards the stairs and heading up. “Good luck, sweets!” she called to Rory as she went.

Contemplating the phone for a moment, Rory decided to just go for it and dialled the number for Jess’ cell. It rang twice before he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Rory.”

“Hi. Uh, everything okay?”

“Everything’s pretty good, thanks. You?”

“Yeah, not bad.”

There was a strangely long pause after that as Rory struggled with how to proceed now the pleasantries were done, and of course, Jess was probably wondering why she called in the first place since she hadn’t told him yet.

“I was just re-reading your email,” she said eventually. “I thought about replying but then I thought, ‘Hey, why not call?’ That’s okay, right? That I called, I mean.”

“More than okay,” Jess assured her. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

Rory wasn’t sure why that made her blush, but it did. Not that she minded the warm glowy feeling inside at just hearing him say such a thing.

“Yeah, it’s good to hear you too,” she told him, curling up in the corner of the couch with a grin on her face. “So, you had a busy day?”

“It’s been... eventful,” he told her, clearly choosing his words carefully. “I had to talk Luke out of a nervous breakdown this morning. You know he has Liz, T.J., and Doula staying with him right now?”

“Yes, he mentioned something about that. Must be pretty cramped up in the apartment.”

“It used to be cramped with two of us, even after the expansion, but four of them? Especially given the actual personalities involved? I’m surprised there’s been no blood-shed.”

Rory laughed at that. “Poor Luke,” she said anyway. “He cares so much. He tries to pretend that he doesn’t, but he does.”

“I guess he’s just not good with expressing how he feels,” said Jess then. “It’s been known to run in the family.”

There was a moment where Rory struggled for the right words to respond to that, but Jess spared her the trouble by continuing himself.

“Look, Rory, I know I said we needed to talk about this and we do but... but you know how I feel about you, right?”

“I think so,” she admitted, nodding her head and then wondering why she bothered since he couldn’t see her. “I mean, I know how you used to feel-”

“Nothing’s changed. Not for me, not really anyway.”

Rory swallowed hard. “Then if I feel the same, and I do,” she admitted, “you think we can make it work this time?”

“Geez, I hope so,” said Jess with humour in his voice that she was strangely glad to hear. “After all this time, I think we have just one shot left.”

“If we can get it right, it’s all we need. I know it won’t be easy. Stars Hollow to Philadelphia is a lot more than 22.8 miles.”

“197.9, in fact.”

Rory gasped as she realised he had done it again, looked up how far apart they were, and this time, she doubted he would try to deny the real reason why.

“It wouldn’t be too far to travel for, say, spring break?”

“I guess it wouldn’t. So?”

“So, I guess I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll look forward to that.”

“Yeah.” Rory smiled widely. “Me too.”


	14. Chapter 14

Jess checked his watch for what had to be the ninth time, hoping rather than believing that neither Matthew nor Chris had noticed. Waiting on Rory had become the habit of a lifetime, but at least this time he knew she was going to show. He was pretty sure anyway. Unfortunately, the later it got, the more he worried, and the harder it was getting to pretend otherwise.

“Exactly how long do we have to keep acting like this is normal behaviour?” Matthew asked Chris, deliberately loud enough for Jess to hear, he was sure.

“It _is_ normal behaviour,” his friend countered, smirking hard as he continued, “when you’re in deep, deep _lurve._ ”

“You guys remember how I grew up in New York, right?” said Jess, not even bothering to look up from the papers on his desk. “The violence on the streets became second nature to me,” he told them, completely dead pan even as he made what could have been a threat.

“Well, it didn’t show when you came to Stars Hollow.”

Her voice suddenly had the attention of all three men in the room and Rory looked just a little startled by her own power as they all turned to stare.

“Wow. Hi,” she said, shifting nervously from foot to foot. “Um, you were expecting me, right? I thought I was running a little late actually,” she said, checking her watch.

“You’re fine,” Jess assured her, getting up and moving fast to grab her bags for her.

“Super fine,” said Chris to Matthew, who rolled his eyes.

Thankfully Rory didn’t seem to notice, even if Jess had and wished he hadn’t.

“Er, I don’t know if you guys officially met last time,” he said, bringing Rory further into the room. “Rory, this is Chris and that’s Matthew.”

She shook hands with each of them and Jess glared at the guys until they said something nice.

“A real pleasure to meet you, Miss Gilmore,” said Matthew, overdoing it on purpose. “We are humbled by your presence. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be.”

With that, he faked a bow and moved swiftly out of the door.

“Wow. He really doesn’t like me,” said Rory, making a face. “Despite the fact we never met before.”

“It’s not all your fault,” Chris assured her. “Matthew has issues, especially with beautiful women. So many have rejected him, he kind of takes it out on the general populous.”

“Okay.” Rory nodded, even though she didn’t really believe that, not after what Jess had told her in his emails about Matthew’s real problem with her.

“Anyway, I should probably get out of your hair too,” said Chris then. “See you around, Rory.” He gave a quick wave and then left almost as quickly as his friend.

Jess ran a hand over his face as Rory turned from watching Chris leave to look at him.

“They are supposed to be friends of mine,” he clarified. “Right now, I’m thinking of kicking both their asses and finding replacements.”

“They’re fine, honestly,” Rory assured him. “They know what happened the last time I was here,” she said, eyes on the ground. “They’re just looking out for you.”

“True,” Jess agreed. “I’m still sorry about that. I have explained to them that we figured things out but Matthew is... tough to convince.”

“He’s protective of you, which means he’s a good friend.” Rory shrugged. “I can’t blame him for that. Lane didn’t like you all that much at one point, so I get it.”

Jess nodded that he knew what she meant, but it didn’t stop him feeling guilty, or stupid for that matter. It was so weird, all he had done for weeks was think about Rory, to dream about her, both asleep and awake, imagine her being there with him. Now she was actually there, Jess felt awkward, like he didn’t know what to say or how to act.

It put him in mind of the first time she had come to Truncheon last year, and maybe that was where the problem lie. He had felt exactly the same that day and then she had kissed him, only to tell him a minute later that she was still with Huntzberger, that it was all a mistake. Jess hadn’t known he could hurt like that, not after so long. Now, if he had to put a label on what he was feeling, he would have to call it fear. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the next thing to go wrong with him and Rory.

“So,” she said after a while.

“So,” he echoed back.

“I’m finally here.”

“You are. I was just starting to think maybe you changed your mind.”

“That was not going to happen,” Rory said definitely, meeting his eyes. “Jess, it’s not like last time,” she told him, almost as if she read his mind. “I didn’t just come here on a whim, it was a plan, you know that. You and me, we’re the plan.”

He nodded that he knew that, because on a conscious level he really did, but somewhere in the recesses of his brain and the deepest levels of his heart, he couldn’t help that doubt crept in.

Jess loved Rory, he had known it in some strange way from the very first time he laid eyes on her, and it had never completely gone away. He believed that maybe she loved him too, though she never said it. They were supposed to be giving this relationship another shot, they both agreed to that, and yet it seemed like such a risk after all the other times. Of course, when he looked at her then, Jess knew Rory was worth the risk, she always had been.

“Come here,” he urged her, reaching out to pull her to him, laying his lips on her own the moment she was close enough.

They got lost in each other and the feelings that only came when they were this close. Jess had once said that no matter what else happened in their relationship, at least they knew that part worked. It had never once failed them.

“I missed you so much these past few weeks,” Rory breathed as they parted. “Emailing is great but it’s not the same.”

“You’re not kidding,” said Jess, holding her close still.

“In fact, there was one piece of news that I’ve been holding on to for a couple of weeks because I really wanted to tell you in person.” Rory smiled.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, it has a little something to do with a job.”

Rory was grinning so wide, Jess had a feeling it was very good news she wanted to share with him.

“Come on, don’t keep me in suspense,” he urged her.

“I got an interview,” she admitted at last, “at the New York Times.”

“Rory, that’s amazing,” he told her, hugging her tight all over again.

“I know. I’m pretty excited about it. I mean, it’s not for a few weeks. I guess they know there’s no hurry since I have to graduate first, but yeah, exciting. You know, I couldn’t have done it without you, Jess,” she said solemnly, pulling back to meet his gaze. “There was a while there where I really wasn’t sure about my future, in fact, there’s been a couple of times.”

“You’re not seriously going back to when you dropped out of Yale.” Jess rolled his eyes. “You would’ve gone back without my help, Rory.”

“No, I really don’t think I would,” she told him honestly, her hand at his cheek making him look at her again. “Jess, you told me once you wouldn’t have written your book without me. Well, I honestly don’t think I would be doing so well without you either. You got me back into Yale, you encouraged me in my writing, you forced me to think seriously about my future and applying for jobs and everything. That was all you.”

“Not all me,” he insisted, turning his head to kiss her palm. “You did all the hard work. I just stood on the side-lines and gave you encouragement, that’s all.”

“That’s important,” she assured him. “You’re important in my life, Jess, and not just because you’ve really helped keep me on track these past couple of years. You do know what you mean to me, don’t you?”

Jess didn’t know how to answer that. He thought he knew how she felt. On the phone a couple of weeks ago they had both implied what was between them but neither had spoken the actual words. He only said he loved her once, a long time ago, in what felt like another life, and she never had said it back. He couldn’t blame her then, but he needed to hear it now, probably needed to say it too.

“Jess?”

“All I know is I’m happy you’re here,” he told her, “and... and that I love you, Rory. Pretty sure I always have, and I haven’t found a way to stop yet, not even when I wanted to.”

“You don’t want to now, do you?” she asked.

He shook his head almost imperceptibly and was glad to see her smile.

“Good, because I love you, Jess Mariano. I really, really love you,” she promised, leaning in until their lips met in another perfect kiss.

What started out sweet turned more passionate in seconds. It seemed like such a climactic moment in their relationship. After so long of only one of them being ready, being free, being able to commit, at last they both seemed to be in the same place at the same time, wanting the same thing. They only parted when they had to breathe and even then, it was too much to let go of each other at all.

“I think the phrase ‘that escalated quickly’ applies.”

Rory giggled at that but didn’t deny he was right.

“I guess we are getting a little carried away for a semi-public place,” she noted, eyes going to the door for a moment. “You have a room upstairs, right?” she asked then, before she had quite managed to look at him again.

Jess thought he knew what that meant and yet, this was Rory, so he was not going to assume.

“You want the tour of the whole place?” he asked carefully.

She was blushing as she shook her head.

“Maybe not right now,” she admitted. “But if you wanted to show me your room, that’d be okay.”

“Rory...” he said warily, hardly able to believe he was denying her in any way, and yet.

“Jess, it’s not like we’re moving too fast,” she reminded him. “It’s been a long time coming, we just took some detours along the way, right?” she said, fingers playing with the lapels of his jacket as she pressed against him.

When she looked up again, he moved to tuck her hair behind her ear and then he kissed her lips and smiled.

“This way,” he said, grabbing her bag with one hand, the other clasped her fingers as he gently pulled her with him, and they headed up the stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

“Tell me again why we waited so long to do that.”

Rory lay on her back in Jess’ bed still trying to breathe evenly after what just happened. He was in a similar position right alongside her, one arm behind his head as he glanced at her.

“Wasn’t my idea,” he reminded her, smirking some, at least until he realised she wasn’t smiling anymore. “Sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay,” she assured him, sighing as she shifted onto her side and moved in closer to him. “You don’t know how many times I wished things were different,” she told him, fingers making patterns on his chest and her eyes focused on that rather than his face. “After you’d gone, I wondered a lot about things. What if you hadn’t flunked out of school? What if we had gone to prom? What if we’d done this sooner?” she said, blushing even now.

Jess felt the same knife in his chest that had been there a lot when he and Rory first dated, when she got disappointed or hurt by something stupid he said or did. He supposed that was just how it was when you loved somebody, and he loved her like he never loved anybody else, that much he was sure of. He hoped she believed that, after his not just telling her but showing her too. He wished he had made it clear a whole lot sooner.

His finger underneath her chin turned her head until she met his eyes.

“You know I never left because of you,” he promised her. “Not because we didn’t sleep together, not because I didn’t...” he stopped, shaking his head. “It wasn’t your fault, Rory.”

“Some of it was,” she told him honestly. “I think it’s fair to say neither of us did a really good job at making us work the first time around.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing we get another chance at this,” Jess replied, hoping the nerves in his voice didn’t show.

A part of him was still waiting for Rory to realise she had made a mistake, to call all of this a moment of madness, and just run out the door, never to return. He didn’t want to be afraid of this being less than it was, but he couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, I think so,” she said, smiling up at him, quelling all his fears as she pulled herself up next to him and laid her lips on his own in a good long kiss.

Jess didn’t waste the chance, kissing her back with everything he had left to give. It wasn’t much after their fairly epic love making, but he did what he could. The fact Rory was still smiling when they parted had to mean something.

“I’m glad you have your own room,” she said, sighing happily as she pillowed her head on Jess’ chest and his arm went around her shoulders, keeping her close.

“Yes, I am the lucky loner,” he told her, smirking as he kissed the top of her head. “The other guys share, but there was a guy named Brad on his way out when I got here. He got the single room because he snored so loud.”

Rory giggled at that.

“Well, thank goodness for snoring Brad,” she said definitely, fingers trailing patterns across his chest again, then drifting lower, “because it worked out very well for you and me.”

“I’ll send him a fruit basket,” Jess assured her, pulling Rory half on top of him as he kissed her.

Maybe he had a little more energy left than he thought as the passion ignited again. After waiting this long, it would be a shame not to give the situation their all, and Rory seemed eager to agree with that too. They were half way to somewhere there was no coming back from when a door slammed loud enough to startle them both.

“Um, okay,” said Rory, pulling away, “do your buddies know how to knock?” she checked, her hands braced on Jess’ chest as her eyes flitted to the door.

“Sometimes, not always,” Jess admitted, smirking hard at the expression on her face. “Would you relax, I locked the door,” he assured her.

“Oh. Okay then.” Rory smiled, diving back into the moment and choosing not to allow anything else to interrupt them again.

* * *

“You didn’t have to get up,” Jess reminded a yawning Rory as they tripped down the stairs together.

“I’m hungry.”

“And we could’ve ordered delivery, or I could’ve gone out to get the food and you could’ve stayed in bed.”

Rory kissed his cheek.

“Sweet man,” she said, smiling widely. “But I cannot spend my whole visit here in your bed,” she reminded him, “tempting as the idea is.”

Jess knew she had a point, but she was far from wrong about the idea of spending the whole of her visit alone together being extremely tempting. After waiting so long to get to that point, neither of them were exactly eager to stop, but all good things had to come to an end, or at least a pause.

“Why did we waste so much time, Jess?” Rory asked him then as he grabbed his jacket from the back of his desk chair and pulled it on. “It could’ve been like this years ago.”

“I really don’t think it could,” he told her, shaking his head as he returned to her and put his arms around her waist, pulling her close. “Rory, as much as I would love to think we could’ve made this work back then, we weren’t ready,” he told her, moving her hair back behind her ear. “There was so much we still needed to figure out.” 

“I guess maybe you’re right,” Rory nodded, her arms going up around his neck. “We had to grow up. Teenage us, they were kind of stupid.”

“Teenage me was definitely stupid,” Jess agreed. “Teenage you was just...”

“Just, what?” she asked, half-worried, half-amused by the look on his face.

“I don’t know, I think you were a little too goody two shoes back then.”

“Oh, okay,” she said, laughing some. “As opposed to now when I’m such a rebel?”

Jess laughed too, it did sound sort of silly when she put it that way but he knew what he meant.

“Like you said, we both had to grow up. As much as we wanted to be, we weren’t ready for each other back then.”

“I’m more than ready now,” said Rory happily.

“Yeah, me too,” Jess agreed, moving in to kiss her again.

He had her backed up against the stairs, the both of them lost in a moment that was likely to have them going right back up to the bedroom before long when Rory suddenly pulled away.

“I’m sorry. I would love to continue this but I really, really need coffee and food,” she said breathlessly. “Mostly the coffee.”

Jess smiled, resting his forehead against hers.

“Spoken like a true Gilmore girl,” he said softly. “Come on, I’ll get you the biggest, strongest cup of coffee in Philly. It won’t be Luke’s but it’ll be close,” he promised, planting one last kiss on her lips before he pulled her by the hand towards the door.

Rory went willingly and not just because coffee would be at the end of the trip. She wanted to be wherever Jess was for just as long as she could, and not think about the fact that eventually she was going to have to go home without him.

* * *

“Well, it was so nice of you to call me as soon as you arrived to let me know you got their safe,” said Lorelai, sarcasm in full evidence even at the other end of a phone call.

“I said I was sorry, three times, in fact,” Rory reminded her. “And I meant it. I got distracted.”

“Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?” Lorelai countered. “Well, I guess I can forgive you for putting making out with the boyfriend above calling your mother. You are a grown woman and it has been kind of a long time since you last saw your man. How is the hoodlum anyway?”

“Jess is fine. He’s working right now, so I’m taking the opportunity of alone time to call and catch up with you,” Rory smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

If felt just a little weird to be talking to her mom in close proximity to the place where she and Jess had made love more times than she could count in the last two days, but then she supposed before long the truth of that situation was bound to be revealed anyway. Maybe even sooner than she thought, as it turned out.

“So, you’re at the hotel now?”

“Um, I’m in a bedroom,” said Rory awkwardly. “If we’re going to be specific, it’s Jess’ bedroom, but like I said, he’s not here, he’s working.”

There was a long pause before Lorelai spoke again and it sounded distinctly as if she was trying to keep her voice down.

“Rory, honey, when you said distracted earlier, is there a chance you meant in a more than making out way?”

“There’s a chance, yeah.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Please don’t freak out.”

“Oh, honey, you’re twenty-two years old. It’s really not mommy’s place to freak out if you... get distracted with a guy,” she said pointedly. “It’s just... I don’t know, I guess I didn’t realise you and Jess were at the getting distracted phase of your relationship.”

“Do you have to keep calling it that?”

“In the middle of the diner, yes, I do.”

“You’re in the diner?” Rory realised too late quite how loudly she had squealed that question. “Okay, wow. That came out too loud, didn’t it?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you, because a happy dolphin just burst my eardrum.”

Rory laughed. “I’m sorry, but you’re right. Not about me being a dolphin, obviously, but about me being happy.”

“Jess making you happy may be a slightly foreign concept to me, hon, but I am glad to hear it.”

“That’s not what I’m happy about... well, it is,” Rory amended, “but the squealing was for you and the diner, you being in the diner, with Luke, because Luke is there in the diner, right?”

“Yes, strangely, Luke is in Luke’s diner.”

There was a crackling sound and Rory thought somehow the connection was lost until she heard her mother’s voice again, not directly by the mouthpiece.

“Luke, say hi to Rory.”

“Hi, Rory!” Luke called to her.

“Hey, Luke!” she yelled back, not entirely sure if it really worked. “Did he hear me?”

“He heard you. You got good lungs like your mommy,” Lorelai told her, sounding so much like she was smiling.

“You’re in the diner with Luke,” said Rory, unable to keep from grinning herself. “You know, as much as I always thought I wanted my parents together, it took actually seeing it to know that was such a silly childish dream. Mom, you and Luke-”

“I know, honey,” said Lorelai fast and suddenly very quiet as if she was concerned others might hear, probably mostly Luke himself. “I know what you mean, believe me, I do, it’s just... well, we’re just barely being friends again. I don’t know if we can ever get back to where we were. Even if we can, I think it’s going to take a lot of time and patience and other stuff I’m bad at having.”

There was a tapping on the door and then Jess’ head appeared, followed by a hand that gestured to ask if he was okay to come into the room.

Rory rolled her eyes and gestured for him to enter, after all, it was his bedroom.

“Mom, I know it’s not easy and it probably will take some time, but you know what?” she said, grabbing Jess’ hand and pulling until he sat down beside her on the bed. “Good things come to those who wait,” she quoted, before adding, “and also, those that keep on trying, because in the end, it’s worth it,” she said, smiling at Jess. “Trust me, I should know.”


	16. Chapter 16

Spring break was almost over. Rory didn’t like to think about what that really meant but the passing of time stopped for no woman, and she had to face the truth. Home was calling for her. Yale needed her attention. She had to leave Philadelphia and head home, tomorrow at the latest. Twenty four hours from now she would have to get out of this bed, get herself ready, and head for home. Quite simply, Rory did not want to go.

“You’re doing it again,” said Jess, noticing the way she was staring off into the middle distance and looking sad. “Come on, Rory, it’s not the end of the world.”

“I know that,” she said, rolling her eyes, “but it is the end of something. Jess, this has been so amazing. Being here with you, getting to talk to you about everything, spending every night here with you, just being a part of your life... I’ve loved it, every second.”

“And I’ve loved having you here,” he promised, pulling her across the bed into his arms, “but just because you won’t be here doesn’t mean you won’t be part of my life. Rory you’ve been a huge part of my life ever since the first day I met you,” he told her honestly. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” she agreed, nodding her head. “It just seems so unfair. If we just could’ve figured this out before-”

“Rory.” Jess sighed. “You have got to stop doing this. You don’t think there’s plenty of things in my life I could regret? You know better than anyone that there is, but there’s no point. Besides, after everything we already went through, you really don’t think we can make it through this?”

“Of course I think we can make it,” she assured him, her hand at his cheek. “Jess, I love you. I want this to work more than anything, but... but you’ll be here and I’ll be at Yale and in Stars Hollow, and then... who knows?”

“Then you’ll probably be a journalist at The New York Times,” he said, smiling at the thought, “or some other great paper that’ll be lucky to have you, and I don’t know how that’ll work either, with you in New York or Boston or wherever, and me here. Maybe I’ll move, maybe we’ll spend a lot of money on travelling back and forth, I don’t know. What I do know is that we’ll figure it out, because it’s you and me, Ror. We can do this.”

It meant so much to her that Jess had that much confidence in them and their relationship. It was in stark contrast to the last time they tried to make something work years before. In some ways it seemed just like yesterday, in others, like a lifetime ago. Either way, Rory was so glad to be here with Jess, to know that even when they were apart, they were still going to be together, somehow.

“You know, I think even my mom actually believes we’re going to work out this time,” she said with a happy sigh, curling further into Jess’ arms.

“So, miracles do happen,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “Not that I blame her for before. I really screwed up a lot in the beginning.”

“Hey,” said Rory, poking him in the ribs, “if I’m not allowed to worry about the future then you’re not allowed to worry about the past. We both took our turn at screwing up, Jess, there’s no point dragging it up all the time.”

“I know,” he agreed. “I keep wondering if your mom and Luke can be that way, you know, let the past go, figure things out.”

“I really hope so.” Rory sighed again, this time slightly less happily. “I just think if we can fix things, they should be able to, but every time I talk to Mom about it she seems to like telling me what a long road it’ll be.”

“I should really call Luke,” Jess realised aloud. “I mean, he knows you’re here, so I guess he figured out that’s why I haven’t, but still, I owe him a call, see how he’s doing. You have your mom’s perspective on what’s going on, but Luke’s a whole other ballgame.”

“I like that he has you to talk to about things,” said Rory, grinning up at him. “Luke’s not much of a talker in general.”

“Probably because he can’t ever get a word in sideways.” Jess smirked, earning himself a smack in the chest. “Ow!” he said, faking a major wound

“Big baby.” Rory laughed, kissing it better anyway. “I just want them to be as happy as we are, Jess.”

“Not sure that’s possible,” he told her, kissing her lips. “But I know what you mean. They deserve it.”

“You mean that?” Rory checked. “I mean, you were pretty mad at my mom for what she did.”

“I was mad that Luke was hurt,” Jess corrected her, “but I do know he made mistakes too. Everybody does.” He shrugged. “If they can move past it then good for them. When you love somebody, you can forgive a lot, I guess.”

“I know.” Rory smiled, cuddling up closer again and sighing. “So, we have to get up soon. If nothing else, I really have to go to the bathroom, and I need to be dressed before that. I’m still not sure Matthew has recovered from the other night.”

Jess laughed at that, he couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, it’s weird how he suddenly likes you so much better since you flashed him.”

“I did not flash him!” Rory protested. “I just... didn’t think anybody was around when I ran out to the bathroom.”

“In nothing but your underwear.”

“It was dark and I was hurrying, he barely saw anything,” she said definitely, even as she blushed from head to foot.

“You know, you look adorable in red.”

“Shut up,” she said, kissing him so he had no choice.

If not for the fact that Rory really had meant what she said about the bathroom, it probably would’ve been a while before they got out of bed. As it was, she was in her clothes and running out the door inside of five minutes and Jess figured he should probably get up too. He hadn’t done half the work he should have in the past week, and though the guys assured him that they didn’t mind, just so long as they got the same treatment if they ever had a girl come to stay someday, Jess still felt at least a little bad about it. Plus, he really should’ve called Luke before now. Figuring it probably wouldn’t hurt to check in sooner rather than later, he grabbed his cell from the nightstand and dialled. His uncle picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, it’s Jess.”

“Hello, nephew,” said Luke, with a smile he could just hear. “Now, I wasn’t expecting a call from you for a while, at least, not until Rory came home.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to use her for an excuse not to call and I don’t think she’d want me to either,” said Jess definitely. “So, how’re things?”

“Things are surprisingly good actually,” his uncle assured him. “You know, now the whole custody thing is official, I know where I stand with Anna, I get regular calls from April and there are visits all lined up. Diner’s doing well, haven’t seen Taylor for a couple of days. Life is good.”

Jess laughed at that. “Yeah, I heard something about life being good. Like maybe you had a friend in the diner a lot, to talk and drink you dry of coffee?”

“The last thing I thought you and Rory would be doing all week is talking about me and Lorelai,” he said, lowering his voice, presumably because he was actually in the diner and people might hear.

“It’s not all we’ve been doing,” Jess admitted, wondering why he suddenly felt like he might be blushing. He also had to clear his throat before he could continue. “Um, so, just so you know, if you didn’t already hear from elsewhere, me and Rory, it’s kind of officially happening again. Difference this time is I think we might actually make it work.”

“Then I’m happy for you, Jess, both of you,” Luke promised him. “If anybody deserves to be happy, it is definitely the two of you.”

“Thanks, Luke.”

The bedroom door opened as Rory let herself back in and Jess just smiled at the sight of her. As much as he said she shouldn’t worry about the physical distance that would have to be between them soon, he really had gotten used to having her around so easily. He would miss her like crazy when she was gone, but they’d be okay, they had to be this time.

“Jess?” said Luke in his eat. “You still there?”

“Still here” he confirmed. “Sorry, I was just... So, everything’s cool?”

“Everything’s cool,” Luke assured him, “but thanks for calling. You know I always like to hear from you.”

“Same here.” Jess nodded pointlessly. “Oh, hang on a sec, are you okay to talk to Rory? She seems to want to hijack my call,” he said, trying not to laugh at the ridiculous hand signals she was sending his way to get that message across.

“Oh, sure,” Luke agreed, waiting as he was duly handed over from one to the other.

“Hey, Luke,” Rory greeted him. “Sorry to cut in, I was just hoping you could tell me what’s going on with Lane. I wanted to call her, but I figured with the babies and everything it maybe wasn’t such a good idea. Is she doing okay?”

“I saw her and Zach a couple of days ago,” Luke confirmed. “They brought the boys over to say hi, everybody’s doing just fine.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Rory sighed with evident relief. “If you see her again will you let her know I’ll be home soon and I promise to visit with her just as soon as I can?”

“I will do that,” Luke assured her. “Now you stop wasting your time calling me and enjoy the rest of your spring break with the guy I assume we’re calling your boyfriend again now.”

“Yeah, I guess we are doing that,” Rory agreed, blushing in spite of the fact Luke couldn’t see her and confusing Jess to no end.

She handed the phone back to him so he could say his goodbyes to his uncle but as soon as he hung up, Jess was looking for an explanation.

“You guess we are doing, what?”

“Oh, Luke asked if we were calling you my boyfriend again now.” Rory smiled. “Which we are, right?”

“Right.” Jess nodded, leaning in to kiss her lips. “Just so you know, I will still be going by my real name when I publish my next book,” he confirmed, smirking hard.

“Well, now I’m just disappointed” she told him, hardly able to keep a straight face. “Speaking of your next book, how is that going?”

“Actually, pretty well,” he told her, nodding his head. “First draft is done, more or less, and before you ask, no, you can’t read it,” he said quickly as he got up off the bed.

“Did we not just establish that you’re my boyfriend, which makes me your girlfriend, and surely that comes with certain privileges.”

“It does.” 

“So?”

“So, you got all that you’re getting out of me for one night,” he said smartly.

It took Rory a moment to realise what he was referring to, then she threw a pillow at him which hit Jess squarely in the face. Rory bust up laughing at his expression and that was when he dived back on the bed to tackle her. They were soon rolling around like the young people in love that they were, without a care in the world for what happened next anymore.

All that mattered was the fact that they were back together and they loved each other. Saying goodbye, even for a short while, would be tough, but at least it wasn’t forever, not this time. Nobody knew what the future would hold, but Rory was sure that Jess was right. After all that they’d already gone through, they could handle a few miles between them for a while. She was absolutely certain it would be worth it in the end.


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Jess,

Well, I’m back in Connecticut, back at Yale actually, or more specifically the apartment in New Haven with Paris and Doyle, and only wishing I was with you in Philly. I know there’s no point in wasting so much time daydreaming but it’s not easy to do anything else. I thought I missed you before but after more than a week of spending all my time with you, it feels even harder to be apart. I know, I know, we promised not to make a big deal out of the distance. For now, it’s necessary, but it won’t be forever. Consider me done in my complaining, I had to get it out of my system, I guess, but just so you know, I do miss you, a lot.

According to Paris, I am definitely in love because she recognises the expression on my face. Apparently, I wore it a lot when you and I were together before and she never saw it at all when I was with anyone else. She even admitted that of the guys I’ve dated, you’re her favourite. Now that is some serious praise, the Paris Geller seal of approval!

I ended up telling Doyle about you and he seems mostly intrigued by your writing. He plans to look for _The Subsect_ next time he’s book shopping, so that’s another sale I may have gotten for you. I probably shouldn’t be telling you that since you have this habit of mailing free copies to me for anyone I mention who might want to read it, but trust me, Doyle can get his own copy. Take the royalty, starving artist man!

How’s the sequel coming along? I know your first reaction to that will be to remind me I’m not allowed to read it until it’s practically published, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take an interest in how it’s going, right? I’m assuming one of the guys there helps you with edits. They get all the funs jobs and what do I get? Papers to write, lectures to attend, and not even the promise of a date with my boyfriend when the weekend rolls around. That’s one thing I can even be jealous of Paris for. At least her guy lives with her.

Sorry, I’m doing it again, and just when I promised to stop. I had other things to tell you, I swear. For example, Grandpa thanked me for the copy of your book and he’s added it to the ‘To Be Read/Re-Read’ pile. You are now sharing space in his office with the likes of Hemingway and Nabokov, so be proud! When he does get around to reading it, he promised to let me know what he thinks, and even though he is aware that you and I are back together, I know he’ll give me an honest option. Not that I’m worried because I’m already sure he’ll love it. What’s not to love? I guess sometime you two really should meet. I know it never happened the first time, but I don’t really know why, unless you meeting Grandma was such a disaster that you swore off the house altogether? It seems like such a long time ago sometimes.

One thing I haven’t told you yet, the latest on my mom and Luke. Well, to be honest, there’s not much to report. They’re definitely friends, or friendly, friendish, I guess. It’s so hard to gauge how they really feel about each other because honestly, I never realised quite how deep it all ran in the first place until something finally happened. Of course, you apparently saw it from Day One, so aren’t you the smarty pants? I wish you were here now to see them and make a judgement. I must be really bad at reading signals and stuff. Well, we should know that already since I was oblivious to how you felt about me for quite a while after you first moved to the Hollow, but then I think I was oblivious to how I felt about you too, so what does that really say? Love really is blind, I guess.

Mom initiated the whole divorce process with Dad and since he’s not really protesting any part of what she’s saying, it should all go through pretty fast. It’s definitely a step in the right direction and I would love to think that everyone can just move on now, especially my mom and Luke. Some days I just want to grab them both and smoosh them together, like I used to do with my dolls when I was a kid. It’s a shame that real people can’t be controlled so easily. Well, unless you’re Paris.

Now that’s an idea. Maybe I’ll take Paris back to Stars Hollow with me this weekend and see if she can talk some sense into the two of them. You know how she loves to call it like she sees it, plus she has no problem with meddling in other people’s affairs, even when she really should leave them alone. Hmm, maybe I should check where she stands on the break-up situation first. I know she and my mom got pretty close a while back when I was doing the whole drop-out thing, but I’m not sure how much they’ve talked since then. Something to look into.

.

The phone rang on Rory’s nightstand and she stopped typing to reach for it, hoping it might be Jess in some case of coincidental timing. It wasn’t.

“Hi, Mom,” she said sadly.

“Wow, that was not a happy hi,” Lorelai noted. “What’s up, babe?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be Eeyore,” Rory assured her. “I just thought maybe it would be Jess calling.”

“Aww, honey,” her mother sympathised. “Well, are you coming home this weekend? Because I can do some serious prep for cheering you up if you are? Stock the freezer with ice-cream choices, rent all the stupid-fun movies?”

“That sounds good.” Rory smiled just thinking about it. “I could use the distraction. Philadelphia suddenly feels like it might as well be on the moon.”

“I get you, hon, but you know it’s not going to be forever. Didn’t you and Jess talk about what happens after Yale?”

“We did. Of course, until we know exactly where I’ll be, it’s kind of tough to make plans, but he did say he might be willing to move to wherever I end up, or we’ll just make good use of the road between us any chance we get, I suppose.”

“Long distance is a pain in the butt.” Lorelai sighed. “But when you love somebody, I guess you just make it work.”

“We will make it work,” Rory confirmed. “It’s worth it, I know it is.”

“As much as I fought it before, kid, I gotta say, if you guys are still this sure after all this time and everything that’s happened, I think maybe it really is worth it.”

The silence that followed went on so long that Lorelai started to worry.

“Rory? You still there?”

“I’m here,” she said, her voice a little wobbly by now. “I’m sorry, I just... I never expected you to say that, not about me and Jess. Thanks, Mom.”

“Hey, no problem. You know, Rory, if you’re happy then I’m happy. The last time around, a not small part of the time, I don’t really think Jess was making you happy, but it’s different now, right?”

“It’s very different.” Rory smiled to herself. “Still, as happy as being back together with Jess makes me, I’m twice as happy knowing you’re okay with it.”

“Then everybody’s happy,” Lorelai agreed. “And the happy just keeps on coming because - drum roll please - your grandma called me today. Apparently, since dear old Dad is doing so much better but still needs more R&R before they go ahead and do anything too ambitious, Emily and Richard are totally spa-ing it this weekend.”

“Grandpa at a spa?” Rory laughed. “Wow, I can’t even picture that.”

“My advice? Don’t try,” said Lorelai, giggling herself. “Could get disturbing. However, it means there is zero chance of Friday Night Dinner, so that plan I had for junk food and movies could be a weekend long event if you want?”

“I want, I want!” Rory agreed easily. “Definitely a good plan. It’s way too long since we did that.”

“Well, somebody spent almost their entire spring break with their boyfriend.” Lorelai sighed like it was just such a big deal.

Rory laughed, glad to be sure this time around that her mom was kidding. She promised she would text Lorelai when she knew what time she would be leaving for Stars Hollow on Friday and then they ended their call. Rory’s attention went back to her laptop screen and she stretched out her fingers before getting back to typing her email for Jess.

* * *

I think it’s going to be a fun weekend, all things considered, but I don’t want to spend the entire time in the house. I am determined to get Mom into the diner at least once, and if I plan it right, I can leave her alone with Luke some more. I know playing matchmaker can be dangerous, but you and I both know that their relationship is destined, fated, written in the stars, just like the two of us. I’ll report back when I can!

In the meantime, I hope everything is good at Truncheon. Please say hi to the guys for me and let them know I’m only thinking good things about them!

Love you,

Rory.

.

“Wow,” said Matthew, staring across from his desk at Jess. “It’s that goofy smile again. I’m guessing Rory emailed.”

“Looks that way,” Chris agreed, nodding his head. “She mention us at all?” he asked, clearly joking.

The smirk was wiped off his face when Jess answered.

“Actually, yes,” he told them both. “She asked me to tell you hi.”

“Hi right back,” said Matthew easily. “That all she said?”

“It’s all she said about you.” Jess shrugged. “What? You think that’s what we talk about all the time, the wonder of my friends?”

“What else is there?” Chris joked. “Seriously though, she doing okay?”

“She’s fine, busy with Yale, making plans to hang out with her mom this weekend, the usual.” Jess explained.

“I still think that’s weird” said Chris, shaking his head. “I mean, I get that some people are closer to their parents than others, and that’s fine, but the way Rory explained it to me when she was here, they’re like best friends.”

“Lorelai had Rory really young, right?” Matthew shrugged. “She showed me a picture. I swear, you would not think she was old enough to be her mother,” he said with a look that made Jess feel nauseous.

“Seriously? Could you not have those thoughts about my girlfriend’s mom.”

“What difference does it make to you?”

“Well, for one thing, she was almost my aunt once.”

“Okay, I’m lost.” Chris shook his head. “Rory’s mom was almost your aunt?”

Jess nodded. “She was engaged to Luke, my uncle.”

“Geez, that’s twisted,” said Matthew considering it.

“No, it’s not,” insisted Chris, smacking him on the head with the rolled-up paperwork in his hand. “They’re not actually related. It’s like... when Becky and Darlene married David and Mark.”

Jess’ eyes widened at that explanation but he said nothing, only laughing when Matthew appeared to be even more confused than before. The two of them were kind of nutty sometimes. Jess focused on his computer screen again, as his friends went back and forth some more. He hoped Rory had a good weekend with her mom, and truth be told, he hoped she had some success with encouraging Lorelai and Luke to figure things out.

Their family tree may be complicated but that was fine, so long as everybody was happy. Jess never really thought he believed in happily ever after outside of books, and even those sometimes seemed a little forced, but now Rory was back in his life, calling herself his girlfriend, and figuring how their future would go, he could actually start to think it could happen. Everything really was starting to feel as if it was getting fixed, at last.


	18. Chapter 18

“Since when does a weekend of junk food and movies involve leaving the house to go to the diner?” asked Lorelai, feeling as if Rory was practically shoving her in through the door.

“Since I need one actual meal that doesn’t come out of a box,” she insisted. “Besides, as you point out on a pretty regular basis, Luke has the best coffee in the world. If we’re going to be staying up late enough to watch the entire BBC Pride and Prejudice mini-series, which you insisted on, then I need to be fortified.”

Rory knew Lorelai couldn’t argue against food from Luke’s and moreover coffee from Luke’s, but she was certainly trying for whatever reason. Rory had a sneaking suspicion that in the last week something might have happened with her mom and Luke. Something that might have taken them from friendish to more, though if it had, Lorelai wasn’t telling what it was. There was something though, Rory would lay money on it. Her mom hadn’t been this weird about going into the diner in weeks.

“Hey, Luke,” said Rory, going right up to the counter.

“Rory... and Lorelai. Um, hi,” he said, raising one hand in a pointless wave and looking as if he immediately regretted it. “You want coffee? Of course, you want coffee. Stupid question, sorry,” Luke said all in a rush, the like of which either of the Gilmore girls might have been proud of.

“Yeah, coffee would be good,” Rory confirmed, when Luke failed to move to get it, even though he just guessed correctly that they wanted it.

Mostly his eyes seemed fixed on Lorelai, who was, in turn, looking everywhere but at Luke. Rory wasn’t exactly sure what to say or do for the best, but the whole situation was all kinds of amusing.

“Okay,” she said when Luke finally moved away to get the coffee. “What is going on?”

“Nothing,” said Lorelai, unable to look at her for more than a split second.

“Oh, this is so not nothing,” Rory insisted, buttoning her lip when she realised Luke was back.

“Two coffees,” he said, placing the cups in front of them. “Anything else?”

“Burger for me please” said Rory, smiling, “with fries and onion rings.”

“Lorelai?” Luke prompted when she didn’t speak.

“Yeah?” she replied, finally looking at him. “Oh, my order? Yeah, um... Rory, you go first.”

“I just did.” Her daughter laughed. “I’m having a burger with fries and onion rings.”

“Oh, right. Sure. Me too please,” she said, smiling briefly at Luke, who quickly turned towards the kitchen and disappeared through the door.

Rory looked from him to Lorelai in time to see her mom put both hands over her face and groan.

“Seriously, what is going on?” she asked, prising Lorelai’s hands from her face. “Mom?”

“Luke said he still loved me,” she said in a low voice.

Rory’s eyes went so wide she thought they might roll out of her head. That was maybe the last thing she had expected her mom to say. She wasn’t really sure what she had expected, but it wasn’t that. Maybe that they kissed or that they actually had a conversation about their break-up or something, but Luke saying he still loved Lorelai, that was a real surprise, not least because he was maybe the least feelings-sharing person Rory had ever met... though Jess had been known to run a real close second.

“How did...? When...?”

“Three days ago,” Lorelai admitted, shifting closer to Rory so no-one else would hear. “I know I should’ve told you sooner but I knew you’d ask me how I felt about it or how I was going to handle it, and I still don’t think I really know the answer to either of those questions” she rambled. “We were here, the other day. It was getting late and the place emptied out, but Luke just kept refilling my coffee, so I stayed. We just talked and talked, first about normal, everyday things, like the weather, and work, and you and Jess, and it was all fine. Kind of like old times, you know, really old times when we were pretty much best friends. So, I got really comfortable and I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying or to who-”

“To whom” said Rory like a reflex.

“To whom.” Lorelai rolled her eyes. “The point is, I said something about the divorce going through fast and being glad about it, and then my brain catches up to my mouth and I look up at Luke and... and he has this really weird look on his face. I swear I was about to apologise for screwing up and just run right out the door, but then he just comes out with it, he still loves me. He understands what he did wrong with us and he forgives me for what I did wrong with us and he still loves me.”

“And you said?” Rory prompted, not at all satisfied with the story ending there.

“I said... ‘Okay’ I think, and then I kind of left, fast,” Lorelai admitted lamely. “I know, I know, it was stupid, but he caught me completely off-guard and I just didn’t know how to handle it.”

“Well, you do still... want the burger, right?” said Rory, changing tack completely when she noticed Luke was back from the kitchen. “Because I think it’s a little late to change your mind now, Mom,” she said, gesturing to the plates in Luke’s hands.

“Of course, I still want the burger.” Lorelai rolled her eyes, grinning to wide as her food was put in front of her. “What kind of idiot wouldn’t want a Luke’s burger?”

Rory felt bad as she joined her mother in smiling too wide and then dug into her own food with gusto. Luke looked confused by the whole situation and she didn’t wonder at it. She couldn’t imagine telling someone she loved them only for that person to just walk away. She had been on the receiving end of someone telling her she loved them only to bolt the very next second, and that had been bad enough.

The very next moment that Luke moved out of earshot, Rory leaned in closer to Lorelai, and spoke to her around a mouthful of fries.

“We really need to talk about this when we get home,” she said definitely.

“But Pride and Prejudice?” Lorelai protested before spotting the withering stare on her daughter’s face. “Okay, fine, maybe you have a point,” she conceded, “but Colin Firth is going to be really upset that we threw him aside for girl talk.”

“Colin will understand,” Rory assured her, “and he’ll look just as good in the wet shirt tomorrow, I promise.”

“He better,” Lorelai grumbled, digging into her burger.

Rory only laughed.

* * *

“So, what do you want to do?”

“I just told you, I don’t know,” Lorelai explained, getting more frustrated by the minute it seemed. “He really threw me for a loop, Rory. I mean, after everything, to just suddenly tell me he still loves me. What am I supposed to do with that?” she asked, still pacing and waving her arms like a crazy windmill. as she had been doing pretty much the entire time since they got back from the diner.

“Well, do you still love Luke?” asked Rory, shifting on the couch and trying to get into a position where she was both comfortable and able to see her mom as she paced.

“Of course I still love Luke,” said Lorelai easily. “I never stopped loving Luke.”

Rory smiled wider at that. She had wondered, just vaguely, how her mom really felt about Luke these days, after the break up and the crazy marriage to Christopher and everything. It was really good to hear that the flame never truly went out with her and Luke.

“So, if Luke still loves you and you still love Luke, what’s the problem?” she asked then. “Can’t you just tell him and get back together?”

Lorelai took a deep breath and expelled it slowly, sinking down into the armchair at last.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” she admitted. “I mean, the way you just said it, it sounds so simple, but also, way too easy. I mean, I like the simple and easy, don’t get me wrong, but... but I’m terrified, Rory,” she said, shaking her head. “I just... I cannot screw this up again. Breaking up with Luke before, it was awful, so bad, and then that mess with your dad? I can’t, I just cannot go through all of that again.”

“Mom, come on,” said Rory, moving to reach for her hands. “You don’t think I was scared when me and Jess started getting close again? Of course, I was, and I’m actually pretty sure he was too. We hurt each other so much before and to risk that happening again, it’s scary, but if you make the leap, trust me, it is so good when it works out.”

Lorelai smiled at that. “I get it, kid, I do,” she promised her. “And if you guys are brave enough, I know we should be too. Luke must be because he made the confession first, but I’m just... I wanna be strong about this. I want things to be like they were only better, stronger, with all the bad parts taken out. I mean, with Christopher well and truly out of the picture this time, and April firmly in the arrangement, I can’t think of anything else that can possibly go wrong. We’ve both learnt so much and come so far.”

“That’s all true.” Rory nodded. “So, what’s the problem?”

Lorelai knew there wasn’t one and maybe that was what scared her the most. She had no way to guard against issues she couldn’t see coming, not that anyone ever really could anticipate these things. Still, she couldn’t help but be so very afraid of screwing up all over again.

“Mom?” Rory gripped her hand tighter and looked so worried when Lorelai met her eyes.

It was only when she moved her head slightly that she realised she was crying. Her free hand came up to wipe away the stray tear and she laughed at herself.

“It’s me and it’s Luke,” she said softly. “I think this might actually be our last shot.”

“I get it, I really do,” Rory assured her. “It’s the same with me and Jess, but you can fix it, Mom. It can work, I know it can.”

Lorelai nodded, unable to find words, really hoping she wasn’t a fool for letting herself believe what her daughter was saying. So far, so good with Rory and Jess. They really did seem to have hammered out all the issues and found a way forward, even prepared to make the long-distance thing work for as long as they had to. It seemed ridiculous to think that if they could overcome all of that, Luke and Lorelai couldn’t find a way to make it work too.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” she said eventually. “And then, I guess we’ll see.”

Rory smiled widely, squeezing her mom’s hand one more time, then getting up from the couch to move over and hug her instead. Not long after that, they said their goodnights and headed to their own rooms, not that Rory intended to go to bed right away. The moment she was safely behind the closed door of her own bedroom, she pulled out her cell and immediately speed-dialled her boyfriend.

“I have big news,” she said softly, barely giving Jess a chance to say ‘hello’, “of the good kind, just to be clear.”

“Good news is cool,” Jess told her with a smile she could hear. “What is it?”

“Mom and Luke, I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen, tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yup. We were just talking about it. Apparently, Luke told Mom three days ago that he still loved her and she’s just told me that she still loves him and she’s going to talk to him about it tomorrow. It could really happen, Jess. They could really get back together.”

“That’s great,” he told her, trying to stifle and yawn and failing. “Sorry, Ror, it’s been a long day and I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night.”

“Something wrong?” she checked worriedly.

“Not really, just my head being too busy. I ended up editing a lot. First my own stuff, and then somebody else’s, and it’s all catching up to me.”

“Go get some sleep, hardworking man,” she advised. “I love you,” she added, unable to help herself.

“Yeah, I love you too,” he promised her. “Goodnight, beautiful.”

Rory felt herself blush at the simple compliment, but she wasn’t about to complain.

“Goodnight, Jess,” she replied softly before hanging up the phone and falling back against her mattress with a giddy grin on her face.

Things were just working out so well, at last.


	19. Chapter 19

“I’m an idiot.”

“Good morning to you too, Uncle Luke,” said Jess, running a hand over his face.

He was barely awake, the phone having roused him from sleep that had not gone on for long enough yet. Having Luke launch straight into whatever was on his mind without preamble really wasn’t helping.

“I’m sorry, Jess,” his uncle told him with a sigh. “I probably shouldn’t have called you like this I just... I know it’s not like me, but I guess I needed someone to talk to.”

“You need me, I’m here,” Jess assured him, pulling himself up against the headboard and trying to get his bearings. “I just got out of the whole early-riser habit is all.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” said Luke, with a wince Jess could pretty much hear.

“Hey, less apologising, more explaining why you’re an idiot.”

“Right.” Luke sighed again. “So, me and Lorelai, you know that’s been tough lately.”

“I know since the break-up it’s been hard on both of you, but that it’s been better since that sleazebag Christopher got out of the road.”

“For a guy who never met Rory’s father, you really don’t like him.”

“He had a hand in messing things up for my favourite uncle.”

Luke actually laughed at that one. “I’d be flattered if you had more than one uncle. Anyway, yes, me and Lorelai have been getting along better, talking more. It’s kind of like it used to be, you know? Not when we were together but when we were... whatever we were before. Friends, I guess.”

“So, that’s progress,” Jess said carefully, mindful of spilling anything he shouldn’t know or at least shouldn’t say.

Rory already gave him more information than this. The fact Luke had told Lorelai he still loved her, not to mention the fact that she planned on saying it back, probably in the next few hours. Jess knew he needed to bite his lip for fear of making matters worse for all concerned, but there were no guarantees that Luke was going to make it easy for him.

“Progress, sure,” said Luke, adjusting his hat with his free hand if Jess wasn’t mistaken, though of course he couldn’t see to be absolutely certain. “Anyway, we were talking and she was saying something about her divorce going through and I just... I don’t know what I was thinking, but I told her I still care about her. Actually, I said that I still, you know, love her.”

There was an awkward pause then as Jess opened his mouth to ask what Lorelai said back and realised he already knew the answer. Since Luke wasn’t supposed to know that he knew, Jess could still ask, but he felt really weird about it somehow. Keeping things from Luke was a side-step away from lying to the guy, and that really stuck in Jess’ throat somehow.

“She didn’t say it back,” Luke told him eventually, without the question being asked.

“Huh.”

“Yeah. In fact, she couldn’t get out of the door fast enough. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do about it. I mean, I never really did anything like that before, then yesterday, she comes into the diner with Rory. Everything seemed fine, but obviously, we couldn’t talk about it, not in the diner and everything. I don’t know, maybe I am an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Jess assured him.

“Really? You sure about that.”

“Absolutely.”

“What exactly do you know, nephew?”

Jess bit his lip for a second and then sighed. “Luke, trust me, okay? Just give her time.”

“It’s been four days.”

“Sometimes it takes that long.”

“Seriously, Jess, what do you know about all this that I don’t?” Luke tried one more time, but his nephew knew he couldn’t give in.

“I know you should give it a little more time,” he said again, hoping that would suffice for now.

The defeated sigh on the other end of the line proved that it would, as Luke muttered his thanks for the advice. Now all Jess could do was sit tight and trust that Lorelai would follow through just like Rory said she would. He hoped so, for all their sakes.

* * *

Hi Jess,

Oh, my goodness, I hardly know where to start. Well, actually, I know exactly where, but there is so much to tell you, the most important part of which is this - Mom and Luke are back together!

It’s crazy but I am so, so happy about this. I never thought I could ever be this excited about a relationship that wasn’t mine, but I really, really am. They’re so happy, Jess, and they look so perfect together. I can’t believe you saw something between them before I did, that still doesn’t fit in my head, but all I care about right now is that they’re back together and all kinds of happy.

I almost called you yesterday right after I found out it happened, but there was so much to say and calls are so expensive, plus it was pretty late before mom got home to give me all the details. Besides, this way I can be sure I’m not missing anything out before I send the email, so you’ll know every part of what happened, no holes or errors.

So, as planned, Mom went over to the diner to see Luke. Of course, Luke’s was open and she wasn’t exactly going to announce her feelings right there in front of everybody, but since Luke was short-staffed, they couldn’t really go elsewhere and leave the place unattended. Now, this is the part where it got really romantic.

Apparently, Luke was surprised to see my mom, especially by herself, because he knew she was spending the weekend with me. She told him she was but that she had to go over there because she had something important to tell him, something very important.

Since Luke is pretty good at reading mom’s tones and looks (almost as good as me, so she says) he immediately understood and, get this, he cleared out the diner, closed up, didn’t even bother to get people to pay their bills! Seriously, there were people standing in the street with coffee mugs in their hands and paper napkins tucked in their shirts, wondering what in the heck just happened.

I saw Miss Patty this morning and she was telling me how she and Babette tried everything they could to see what was going on, but Luke closed all the blinds, even the one on the window through to Taylor’s soda shoppe, so absolutely no-one knows what happened next. Well, except for me and soon you too, since Mom told me everything and said she was fine with me telling you.

So, as it turns out, even if the nosey folks of the Hollow could have seen in the diner, there would have been nothing to see. Luke took Mom upstairs, and before you freak out and stop reading, nothing like that happened. Well, actually, I’m pretty sure it did, but I did not get the details on it and would never want them, so you won’t hear them from me.

The point is, Mom finally told Luke how she really felt. She apologised for what happened with the weird proposal ultimatum and for the whole mess with my dad and everything, then Luke made sure she understood that he never meant to let April come between them and all of that. He thanked Mom again for the letter that helped with his court case and she told him she was sorry about running out on him after he said he loved her a few days ago. And then, finally, she told him she still loved him too and they kissed and that is the point in the conversation with my mom where I put my hands over my ears and refused to hear anymore. I’m sorry, I am happy for her and for Luke, but it is a step too far to think about them doing that. I’m pretty sure you’ll agree with me on that one, so I don’t feel bad for saying it.

Jess, they’re back together. Luke Danes and Lorelai Gilmore are a couple again, just like they always should have been. I like to think we helped. If nothing else, I’m sure our getting back together against all the odds inspired them to believe they could do it too. You’re happy about this too, right? I’m pretty sure you will be. You only ever want what’s best for Luke, and you know as well as I do that he and my mom are fated, destined, meant to be, just like we are.

So, that’s all of my good news. Well, actually, there’s one other thing but that’s as scary as it is good - I got the date and time for my interview at the New York Times! This Saturday, I will be in the city, taking the next step towards my future. I’m so excited and so freaked out all at the same time, and I really wish you were here to tell me I could do it. I know you’ll probably write back with encouraging words, but it’s not the same as having you next to me, holding my hand and literally telling me I won’t screw up. I know, I know, I’m being selfish and irrational, but I can’t help it. Sometimes I just miss you too much and personally I don’t think that’s so wrong. You’re supposed to miss people if you love them, right?

Aside from all this excitement, I just have a boatload of stuff to do for my classes. This last month before graduation is going to get pretty crazy from what I can tell. Paris is going into complete overdrive and it’s taking me and Doyle double-teaming her to stop her from going crazy with the white boards and the spreadsheets and everything. Seth Gecko did not stress like she can, and you’re right in what you said about it being contagious, but I do take your good advice. When she gets too much to deal with, I walk away. The library is a sanctuary, plus I head home whenever I can and hide out at the house. Mom is busy with the inn so much that I get plenty of alone time for studying, and I guess most of her free time is going to go on dates with Luke for a while. I’m grinning like an idiot just thinking about them, but that’s not getting my work done!

So, here is where I have to love you and leave you for now. Hope all is going well with the editing the new book. Hopefully, when you’re finally prepared to let me read it, I might actually have the time to spare!

Love you so much and miss you always,

Rory

.

Jess got to the end of the email and let out a long breath of almost-relief. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy Rory’s regularly long communications, but he tended to hear her voice in his head as he read them, and at the speed she tended to talk too. It could be a little exhausting when she rambled like that, but it was also so great to realise she was that happy.

Admittedly, Jess was no less glad to know that Luke and Lorelai had fixed everything. It did seem to be the trend, he thought, scrolling back up through Rory’s mostly joyful email. Of course, what didn’t thrill Jess was hearing how stressed out his girlfriend was, both about Yale and her upcoming interview.

“Screw it,” he said to himself, not caring about the expense or potential inconvenience as he reached for the phone and dialled Rory’s cell.

It rang three times before she finally picked up, or at least, before somebody picked up.

“Hello, Rory Gilmore’s very charming receptionist.”

“Lorelai?”

“Jess?”

“Huh.”

There was a brief pause before Lorelai started talking again.

“Ah, so I’m guessing what Rory did not mention in the latest email, which I’m sure she must’ve sent by now, that she left her cell phone at the house when she headed back to Yale yesterday.”

“She did not mention that,” Jess confirmed.

“Right. Well, she’s supposed to come by to pick it up when she can, but I guess I’ll wind up taking it to her since she’s so crazy-busy.”

“And you’re probably in kind of a giving mood, right? From what Rory told me, you and Luke are every kind of happy.”

“As the proverbial clams, thank you very much.” Lorelai giggled like a woman half her age. “This whole getting back together thing must be contagious.”

“Must be,” Jess agreed. “For what it’s worth, and I’m guessing it’s not much, I wasn’t sorry to hear you guys figured things out.”

“It’s worth something,” Lorelai admitted. “You know as much as I wasn’t thrilled the last time you and Rory were together, I haven’t seen her this happy in a very long time. You turned things around, kid, and you guys... I don’t know, I just believe you’re gonna make it work this time.”

“Thanks,” said Jess, unsure why the word came out so soft, and even more uncertain about what he was supposed to say next. “Um, so, I guess I’ll just drop Rory an email and maybe try calling again tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Lorelai agreed. “You know, it was actually not so bad talking to you, Jess.”

“Same here,” he agreed, smiling some at her phrasing. “Take care of yourself, Lorelai, and my uncle too.”

“Not a problem,” she assured him. “You just keep treating my daughter right, okay, Mariano?”

“Not a problem,” he said, echoing her own words, before they both said their goodbyes and Jess ended the call. “Well,” he said to himself, staring at the phone for a moment, “that was different.”


	20. Chapter 20

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous,” said Rory, barely managing to keep the shake out of her voice. “Why did I ever think I could do this?”

“Honey, you _can_ do this,” said Lorelai definitely. “You were born for this, you’ve studied so hard for this, and I know this interview is going to go so well.”

“I wish I was so sure.” Rory sighed.

Even as her mom continued to reassure her, it was taking all of Rory’s efforts to be calm and still. Every part of her wanted to shake and shiver with nerves and her mind was a whirl with things she had to remember to say and not to say, to do and not to do in her interview.

It didn’t seem to matter how much Lorelai or Luke or even Jess told her she could handle this, Rory just felt so horribly nervous. This was her dream, the focal point of everything she had been working towards these past ten years at least, and she was highly aware that in the next hour she could screw it all up, just by getting something wrong in this interview.

“And just in case, not that I think you need it, but everyone has their fingers crossed for you, sweets. Me and Luke, Emily and Richard, Lane and Zach, Sookie and Jackson, and obviously, the boyfriend."

“I don’t think Jess would be crossing his fingers for me,” said Rory, finding a smile. “He refused to wish me luck even when I asked him to because he said he was just so confident that I didn’t need it. Somehow he seems to think I’m going to walk this interview.”

“Well, as much as me and the hoodlum never saw eye-to-eye before, I’m with Jess on this one, babe,” Lorelai said definitely. “I know you’re the nervous type, but you really have to believe in yourself, Rory. You have got this. The New York Times would be lucky to have you, not the other way around, and if, by some crazy chance, they choose not to hire you, and I highly doubt that’s going to happen, but if it does, you will find something else and it won’t be the end of the world, I promise.”

Rory knew her mom was right. Of course, if the worst should happen, there were other papers, other jobs, and her life definitely would not be over. That said, Rory wanted this so badly, she really couldn’t bear to consider what would happen if she didn’t get the job at the Times.

“Well, I guess I should go,” she said, checking her watch. “I know for sure that my chances won’t be helped by being late.”

The Gilmore girls ended their call then and Rory ran to the bathroom, amazed that she could even manage to use the toilet again after already going so many times, but that was nerves for you. Washing her hands, she checked herself in the mirror once more, before heading out. She picked up her bag and walked out the door with her head held high. She just had to do this, no more letting herself freak out about it, just reminding herself that she was in control, that she had this. Rory repeated the mantra to herself in the hotel elevator as she headed down to ground level and then stepped out to walk through the reception area to the door.

“Excuse me, Miss?”

The voice came so suddenly, Rory almost tripped on her heels as she turned quickly to see if it was her the mystery man was speaking to.

“Oh my God!” she gasped when she realised he was no stranger. “Jess, what are you doing here?” she asked, practically leaping into his arms for a big hug.

“Something told me that, despite the pep talk from me last night, and no doubt another from your mom this morning, you’d probably still be nervous,” he said, holding her close. “I figured maybe if I was actually standing in front of you when I told you how great you were, you might actually believe me,” he said, pulling back to meet her eyes. “Happy to see me?”

“Beyond happy,” she told him definitely, kissing his lips. “I can’t believe it. You’re just the best boyfriend ever.”

“And you are the best reporter the New York Times could ever have,” he told her with emphasis. “So, you’re gonna go to your interview, you’re gonna show those newspaper types all the amazing qualities of Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, and when you’re done, I’m going to take you to dinner at a place I probably can’t afford to celebrate that you just got your dream job.”

“ _If_ I get it,” she said, biting her lip, “and even if I do, I doubt they’ll tell me today, so-”

Jess silenced her with a kiss.

“You’ll get it,” he told her a moment later. “I know you will.”

* * *

“And then she said she thought I had a unique viewpoint and a really interesting style, that I even reminded her of herself when she was my age, only skinnier, which was apparently the only thing she could find to not like about me, and even then, she said she couldn’t exactly hold that against me. She was just so nice, not at all what I expected.”

Rory was grinning as she rambled, so excited by all she was telling Jess that she seemed almost to have forgotten she was also supposed to be eating. If that wasn’t a miracle, Jess didn’t know what was.

“So, you thought all the people at the Times were, what? Dragons? Monsters?” he teased her from across the table.

“No, of course not.” Rory rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, as sexist as it sounds, I kind of expected a guy to interview me, maybe even more than one, and for them to be maybe a little stuffier and buttoned-up, you know? Andrea was not like that at all. She was so cool, so kind, and so complimentary about my work. I don’t even know why I was nervous!”

She was so giddy she was practically laughing and definitely glowing with happiness as her attention finally turned to her dinner and she tucked in with gusto. Jess really didn’t mind if she was talking a mile a minute, shovelling food into her mouth, or both. She was Rory, she was happy, and she was sat across from him looking at him like he was the greatest person in the world. This was all Jess ever wanted and he wouldn’t trade places with another living soul for anything.

“Did I also tell you that the best part of my day was having you show up when I least expected it?” said Rory then, grinning across at him.

“Better than an interview at the New York Times?” asked Jess, with a raised eyebrow of suspicion. “Better than some woman who actually knows what she’s talking about telling you how awesome you are at what you most love to do?”

“Well, those things were pretty great too,” Rory considered, “but yes, better than them,” she insisted, reaching across the table to grab his hand. “Jess, I love that you’re here. I love that you knew I would need you today so you just showed up like this. I wish I was that thoughtful sometimes.”

“Hey, come on,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re thoughtful, and I am not so amazing. You ever think maybe I’m here for selfish reasons? Maybe I just missed you and made this whole interview thing a good excuse to come see you?”

“Maybe,” she conceded, “but that’s nice too,” she told him with a wide smile. “Everything is just so good lately and I know, traditionally, that is when things take a turn for the worst, but not this time, right? This time everything is going to stay good.”

“I like to think so.” Jess nodded. “And since I’m not exactly the guy who usually assumes the best is coming, things must be pretty good right about now,” he told Rory, squeezing her hand.

“I really agree,” she said, smiling still as the server came to ask them if they had decided on dessert.

Jess wasn’t sure Rory could look any happier until she was offered her pick of everything that could possibly contain chocolate, sugar, and cream. Honestly, he didn’t care what she ordered or how much it cost him. Since he was sharing the hotel room she already booked, he only had to spring for dinner. Of course, the gas money he had to lay out to drive from Philly to New York was pretty epic, plus rearranging work and spending hours of driving hadn’t been much fun, but it was all worth it. Rory was worth it, especially when she was smiling as much as she was right now.

It was weird to think that just a few short months ago she was writing to him via email, desperate to patch up what had gone so wrong between them. That an even shorter while ago than that, she was crying in his arms over her ailing grandfather, her parents messed up relationship, and panic over her future plans. They had come a long way these past six months or so. Sometimes it made Jess’ head spin just to think about it.

“Jess?” Rory prompted, looking just a little worried as his eyes and mind refocused on reality. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he promised her. “Just tired, I guess. Long drive.”

“Oh. Well, we could skip dessert-”

“We’re not skipping dessert,” he told her definitely. “Tonight, you are having everything you want, Rory Gilmore. I’m going to make sure of it.”

“Everything I want?” she asked, biting her lip, a playful look in her eyes.

“Everything,” Jess promised, nodding his head, and he meant it too.

* * *

“When you said ‘everything’ you weren’t kidding,” Rory gasped, collapsing against the pillows with an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction flowing through her whole body. “Also, I’m not sure I believe you now when you said you were tired earlier.”

“Well, you inspired me to rally,” Jess told her, reaching out to pull her close again and kiss her lips. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she assured him, returning his kiss. “I wish it could always be like this,” she lamented then. “You and me together. Why is there always something in the way of that?”

“Keeps life interesting.” Jess shrugged, smirking at her pouty expression. “C’mon, how boring would our lives be if everything came easy. That’s not us, Ror.”

“Once in a while it might be nice if it was us,” she said, huffing out a sigh.

“They don’t write books about the ones that come easy,” said Jess, planting another kiss on her cheek and one in her hair. “Speaking of, I actually had another celebratory gift for you.”

“Another one?” Rory smiled, tilting her head to look up at him. “As much as I appreciate that, I might need a few minutes here.”

“Not that kind of gift.” Jess rolled his eyes. “Hold on a second.”

He dropped a kiss onto her head then slipped away from her, despite the unimpressed sound she made at losing him from her arms. Jess at least knew it would be worth it, well, he hoped so anyway. Rifling around in his bag, he returned to her a few moments later, something grasped behind his back as he climbed into bed.

“Close your eyes,” he urged her and Rory did as asked, though she was clearly peeking, but Jess let it go. “Okay, so, I did promise that when I had this ready for you, you could have it, and today was kind of a big deal for you, so... here,” he said, placing the pages into Rory’s hands.

She opened her eyes wide to the thick sheaf of papers, fastened together tightly, and read the typed words from the front page.

“ _Return to Blue_ by Jess Mariano. Oh my... This is the sequel?”

“It’s the sequel,” he confirmed, nodding his head. “It’s more or less in a fit state for publishing. Matthew is giving it the final check right now so the actual book won’t be printed for a little while, but that’s essentially it.”

“Oh my God, Jess, this is... it’s amazing. You’re amazing, and the best boyfriend ever,” she told him, launching herself back into his arms and throwing him flat on his back in the process.

Jess certainly wasn’t about to complain about that, or the fact that the gift he had so especially given her was quickly abandoned. After all, there was all the time in the world for reading later, when they were forced to be apart again. For now, they were together, and to waste a moment of that time would be foolish in the extreme.


	21. Chapter 21

“You’re obsessed,” said Jess returning from the shower in nothing but a towel around his waist to find Rory once again poring over his latest novel. “I swear every time I turn around your nose is in that thing.”

“What do you expect?” she asked from her place wrapped in the bed sheets still, eyes never leaving the page. “You know what it’s like when you get a new release from your favourite author. The avid literati cannot be stopped.”

“Favourite author?” Jess checked, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her.

“Absolute favourite,” she promised, looking away from his writing just long enough to plant a kiss on his lips. “This is great, by the way, equally as good as _The Subsect_.”

“I hope it’s better.” Jess rolled his eyes, pushing damp hair out of his face.

“How could it be better? Jess, I keep trying to tell you, _The Subsect_ is like nothing else I ever read and it is so you. There’s no way you could improve on it, but this is really good too. It’s different, but I love it just as much.”

It was flattering to hear her talk that way about his work, and somehow Jess just knew that Rory wasn’t blowing smoke. Sure, she was the type to be nice to people to save their feelings if she had to, but what was between the two of them, it was such that he trusted she would tell him only the truth about these things. If she didn’t really believe he had written his best work, she would tell him so. After all, he was always pretty honest when she asked for his opinion on her writing, her opinions, her life choices, and sometimes even when she didn’t ask too.

“Clearly I did this all wrong,” he said then, reaching to move the curtain of Rory’s hair away from her face so he could see her as she continued to read like her life depended on it. “I should’ve given you that thing when we were leaving, not a second sooner. Now I’ve lost you to the written word for good.”

Rory was smiling as she reached the bottom of the page and closed up the manuscript.

“I can be distracted, even from your great writing,” she assured him. “Given the right source of inspiration.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Not long after the reading ended and the kissing started, Jess ended up back in the shower, with company this time. They might have got a little carried away, but neither Rory nor Jess cared enough to stop. It was only a few weeks since they had last been together, but it felt like a lifetime when two people felt as strongly for each other as they did.

They were lucky the dining room was still serving breakfast by the time they got down there, it was certainly a close-run thing. Rory and Jess both had their bags stashed under the table, knowing they had to make a quick exit before long if they were going to be home on time. The prospect of their parting ways so soon seemed to sober Rory up a little too much from the carefree woman who had been so happy and giddy less than an hour before.

“Rory?” said Jess, frowning some when he caught her serious expression. “You okay?”

“Sure, I’m fine,” she promised him. “It’s been a great twenty-four hours, between the interview and your book and you just being you,” she said, smiling again as she looked across at him, though the expression wavered within seconds. “I’m sorry, Jess, I just... I hate that it always has to end like this. We have a great time and then you have to go to Philadelphia and I have to go back to Stars Hollow and Yale and... and even if I get this great job, my dream job, I’ll be in New York, which yes, is only half the distance, but it’s still a good hundred miles.”

“Ninety-four,” said Jess, nodding his head, trying not to feel dumb when she looked at him like he was the sweetest thing ever. “I know it’s not a perfect set-up, Ror, but it’s also not a tragedy. So, we won’t be in the same city, but we will be closer, and we’ll figure something out. We will, you know we will,” he promised. “This is us, Rory. If we can fix the mess we got into before, if we can get past everything and be this happy, then what is ninety-four miles to us?”

“It’s about ninety miles further away from you than I ever want to be,” she said grumpily.

Jess smirked, he couldn’t help it. “And I would love for them to move the New York Times office to Philadelphia, but I don’t see that happening. So, I guess we’re just going to have to make this work for ourselves, and we can, Rory. I promise you, we can.”

“I know that we can,” she agreed, nodding her head. “I just wish we didn’t have to try so hard all of the time, but I know you’re right, what you said last night about them not writing books about the ones that come easy.”

“Hey, some couples have it worse,” he reminded her. “Romeo and Juliet, anyone?”

“Yikes. Yeah, I guess it isn’t so bad being us.” Rory smiled, just as her cell phone began to buzz in her pocket.

She excused herself to take the call, knowing she really should’ve checked in with her mom long before now.

“I’m a terrible daughter.”

“Actually, you’re just an easily distracted daughter,” Lorelai told her. “Relax, hon, I knew all about the boyfriend’s surprise visit, so I wasn’t exactly expecting a call last night. I’m guessing the interview went well?”

“It went so well!” Rory told her happily, and so loudly that Jess heard her from the table.

Maybe she was getting a little more attention from the other patrons of the hotel than was necessary, but Jess wasn’t about to tell Rory to keep her voice down. She looked happy again, and that was all he wanted. Of course, it wasn’t as if he didn’t understand her sadness at them being apart so much. It wasn’t his favourite part of their relationship either and if he could do something about it, he would.

The truth was, Jess had been thinking about potential solutions to the problem for a while now, one in particular that kept looping back around in his mind. Mostly, he dismissed it as crazy, but after yesterday and last night and this morning, seeing Rory, being with her like this and knowing it could be any number of weeks before they got the same chance again, it pushed him into action.

It was pretty clear that Rory was going to be on the phone to Lorelai for a while and that was kind of perfect for what Jess had in mind. Reaching into his pocket for his own cell, he speed-dialled and waited a couple of rings before he got an answer.

“I thought you were with Rory.”

“And good morning to you too, Uncle Luke.” Jess smirked because he couldn’t help it. “I am, in fact, still with Rory, but since she’s on the phone to Lorelai, I knew you’d be free to talk too.”

“Smart move, nephew,” said Luke. “Not that me and Lorelai spend every second together anyway.”

“The way Rory was telling it, you almost are,” Jess countered. “Not that I think that’s a bad thing. It’s good that you’re happy,” he said, suddenly feeling a little weird about how mushy this was all getting.

“Yeah, you too,” said Luke, sounding as awkward as Jess felt, which seemed like a good thing really - it meant they could change topic without anybody minding.

“So, I called for a reason,” said Jess, clearing his throat. “A couple of reasons, actually, the first of which we pretty much covered already, you know, you and Lorelai. Everything is still good?”

“It is,” Luke confirmed. “With you and Rory too, I guess?”

“Couldn’t be better. Well, actually, maybe it could, but that’s where my second reason for calling comes in. I have this idea I wanted to run by you...”

* * *

“Sounds like it went super-well, sweets,” said Lorelai, wearing a grin that Rory could practically hear. “And while I really, really don’t need details, I’m guessing last night with the boyfriend was pretty special too?”

“It really was.” Rory grinned and blushed at the same time, even though nobody was really looking at her at all. “Jess is... he’s just the one, Mom. I know there were times when I thought Dean or Logan were my forever guy, but I was so wrong. I think a part of me knew that it was always going to be Jess in the end. We just fit, in the weirdest way. It’s like we were made to be together, you know?”

“I do know, babe,” Lorelai assured her. “I kinda feel the same way about Luke. We really lucked out with those Danes men, huh?”

“I think we really did,” said Rory, turning around to look back at the table where she had left Jess.

She frowned some when she realised he wasn’t there anymore, and quickly told Lorelai she should probably go. They said their goodbyes and promised to talk more when Rory got home. Just as she was ending the call and putting her cell back in her pocket, Jess appeared with both their bags in his hands.

“So, Lorelai forgave you for not calling last night?”

“She did.” Rory nodded. “She knew you were here so she understood, and now she’s all up to speed on the interview stuff, well, more or less anyway. We’ll talk more when I get home to the Hollow.”

“You spending the weekend there before Yale calls you back?”

“That’s the plan. Okay, now there’s a smirk. Why is there a smirk?” she checked, watching his face as he tried to repress his expression.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Bad liar,” Rory countered, laughing at his gall. “Jess, what is going on? What did you do?”

“You know, you’re a very suspicious person,” he told her, encouraging her to walk with him towards the desk so they could check out already. “Not that it’s a bad thing, I mean, you’re gonna need to be on your toes in New York. It is nothing like Stars Hollow.”

“Jess, stop,” she urged him, pulling him to a halt just before they reached the desk. “What is going on?” she asked again, making him meet her eyes.

“Maybe I called Luke while you were talking to your mom,” he admitted then, the smirk returning bit by bit, “and maybe I asked if he was okay with me staying over a couple of nights at the diner apartment this weekend. Unless you just want a weekend alone with your mom or Lane or whoever, because I can head straight back to Phil-”

It was as far as he got before Rory had her arms up around his neck and her lips pressed firmly against his own. Apparently, Jess really was spending the weekend in Stars Hollow, and the idea had never appealed so much before.


	22. Chapter 22

Hey Jess,

We’re officially in the countdown to graduation and I’m pretty sure I’ve already talked Paris out of several attempts to either end things with Doyle or end things altogether. It’s weird, but at this point, her crazy-panic actually seems to be making me feel more calm. Maybe it’s just that I’m listening to my own advice when I’m trying to bring her back to reality. 

Not that even Paris has as many reasons for panic as before. She has received so many acceptance letters from grad schools, I’m amazed the kitchen table is standing up to the weight. I just left her making pro-con lists and fighting with Doyle about whether or not they should be factoring each other in to future decisions, which is ridiculous, because everyone knows they’re going to do that anyway, regardless of what they’re saying right now.

That is some true love they have, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Doyle got to the end of his rope and just proposed or something. Paris would almost definitely throw some stuff and go a little nutty, but at the end of the day she would have to accept. She loves Doyle and that’s just the way it is. I happen to think it’s beautiful.

Speaking of true love, things with Mom and Luke are better than ever. They are going out on their first official date since getting back together this weekend and the whole town is giddy with the excitement of it. I swear, no other couple in town has ever been as popular as Luke and Lorelai, or caused as much controversy either. Well, we were pretty controversial too, back in the day, but after last weekend, I think we can safely say that you are now loved as one of Stars Hollow’s own.

I just thank my lucky stars that I claimed you as my boyfriend when I did, after what Miss Patty said. Are you sure she can’t convince you to become husband number five? (Maybe it’s husband number six? I’m not sure, but honestly, I don’t think I would ever dare to ask!) Well, it’s nice to know that if anything ever happens to me, you have an alternate just waiting to step in.

Anyway, back to Mom and Luke, they actually went out car shopping a couple of days ago. Can you believe our beloved Jeep is on its last legs? Well, you probably can actually since it is pretty old and has way more miles on the clock that it should. Mom was so upset, she loves that car. She says she isn’t sure she could love anything more that wasn’t me or Luke, which is kind of sweet and just a little weird, I guess.

Anyway, she and Luke trawled around all these places trying to find a new car that Mom could love just as much but she couldn’t settle on anything. So, suddenly, Luke shows up at our door late last night with the name and number of some guy he managed to track down. Turns out he has a Jeep exactly like my Mom’s car that he’s willing to sell for a pretty decent price, but since Mom is so particularly stuck on our car, Luke got Gypsy to agree to take the engine out of the seller guy’s car and put it into my mom’s instead. That way, she gets a new engine, or new to her at least, but can still keep the actual physical car that she loves. How great is that?

Now that I read it back, that does sound like a crazy thing to do, but hey, you know us Gilmore girls, we get sentimental sometimes. Lucky we have such great guys in our lives who understand us and would do just about anything to make us happy, I guess. Stuff like showing up in New York when a person has a really nerve-wracking interview to attend, and then going home with that person to spend time with her all weekend. I know you told me to stop thanking you for that, but it was so great, Jess. You are the best boyfriend, and don’t you ever forget that. I don’t think I could love you any more than I do right now.

I have to say, some of the love is for your writing skills. I have read _Return to Blue_ almost twice now and it’s just so good. I have a feeling that it’s going to get more than a little worn from so many re-reads, just like its brother book _The Subsect_. Not to go getting a big head on you or anything, but do I remember the guys teasing you about my being your muse for your new book? I only ask because there is something weirdly familiar about the girl in _Return to Blue_. Maybe I’m just imagining it. Like I said, I’m probably being a real narcissist right now, so you can feel free to ignore me.

I just remembered, I’m supposed to tell you that Lane says hello. I think she wanted to me to say hello from the twins too, though obviously they don’t have their words yet, so it seems a little weird. I think it’s so cool that you got to see little Steve and Kwan when you came to visit last weekend. It was also nice to see you getting along with Lane and Zach. I know she always liked you, even if she didn’t necessarily show it all of the time, but I had reservations about how well you would get along with him. Zach is what we call an acquired taste, even Lane will admit that much, and as sweet as he can be, he is far from being as intellectual as you. I guess I should’ve known if we could just get you guys talking about some serious rock and roll, everything would be fine.

I wish I had more news to share, but there’s not much to say that you don’t already know. No call from the Times yet, not that I really expected it. They had a lot of people to see and they did say it could be at least a week or so before I heard back. I so hope that I got it, Jess. I couldn’t be wishing any harder if I tried. As much as I was complaining about the physical distance between us, even if I do move to New York, it will at least half the travel time if it happens. As if I didn’t want the job enough already, that is a definite extra incentive to get it too.

Well, I really do think that’s all I’ve got for now, and there’s a mountain of studying I should be scaling for the last of my finals, so I should really end this email here. Hope all is good at Truncheon and that work isn’t making you too sleep-deprived and crazy.

All my love,

Rory.

.

Jess smiled as he reached the end of her email, leaning back in his desk chair and contemplating all she had told him. Work wasn’t making him crazy at all lately, even when they got busy or clients got irate. There was a real sense of calm in Jess Mariano’s life just recently and he put a lot of that down to Rory. Some of it was probably also knowing that Luke was happy too.

Try as they might to pretend they didn’t have much in the way of feelings, uncle and nephew were always happier knowing the other was doing well. Rory certainly seemed to think Luke and Lorelai were solid and more than a little glad to be back together, and Jess had seen the evidence of it last weekend in the Hollow. It definitely helped his mood, but it was just as definitely being with Rory and knowing they really did have a future together this time that made him the happiest.

Jess considered closing down his email and doing some work, or even taking a break, getting up and walking away from his desk for a while. After thirty seconds consideration, he decided against all these options and hit reply on Rory’s email. Maybe it did seem desperate and needy to get back to her so fast, but right now, Jess couldn’t care. He loved her, he missed her, and for maybe the first time in his life he was actually comfortable admitting that, not just to Rory but to anyone who asked.

Hey Ror,

So, I’m sitting here with a pile of work I probably should be doing, but honestly, all I can think about is you. You’ve turned me into a sap, Gilmore, but I guess I’ll forgive you. After all, you did say you loved me, and you praised my new book more highly than anyone else is likely to.

Is the nameless but beautiful female lead in _Return to Blue_ based on you? Well, it wasn’t really a plan when I started. I didn’t sit down thinking, ‘I’m going to write a novel about Rory,’ but I guess she is more than a little inspired by you, and by your mom, actually, if that’s not too weird for you. Strong, independent women make good heroines, and you have to admit, you Gilmore girls have those qualities in spades. 

You never did tell me what your grandfather thought of _The Subsect_ and now I’m wondering if that’s because he hated it or because he just didn’t get to reading it yet. We both know what it is to have a ‘to read’ pile that never gets any smaller, so if that’s the reason, I get it, but you can also tell me if it wasn’t to his taste. I’m a grown man, Rory, I can take it. Not everybody has to love my writing just because you seem so enamoured.

Speaking of enamoured, I’m still a little confused by Paris Geller being in love. I’m starting to wish I’d let you take me to that apartment of yours this past weekend to meet the poor sap that seems to have won her heart. This Doyle must be a saint or a crazy person if he’s contemplating marriage to Paris. I know she’s your friend and everything, but even you seem willing to admit she’s unhinged and a nightmare to live with most of the time. He must really, really love her is all I can say.

Still, if she got into all those grad schools, feel free to tell Paris congrats from me. Did she choose between medicine and law yet? Given the choice, I think I’d trust her more to defend me in a courtroom than cut on me in an operating theatre, but maybe that’s just me. Either way, I genuinely wish her luck. Cracked as she often seems, nobody can question her commitment to her education. She may not have got valedictorian at Chilton, but I remember you telling me, more than once, how close the running was. She deserves to get the career she wants so much.

As for you and The New York Times, I still fully believe you’re going to get that job, and if you don’t, I plan to go over there personally and ask them why the hell not. Come on, who are they going to get that’s better than Rory frickin’ Gilmore? I also know your mom has the same opinion as me, Luke too, and three of us cannot be wrong. You were just telling me in your last email how smart you think I am, so you really should believe me.

You know, I was not at all surprised by the story about your mom’s car, and honestly

.

Jess stopped typing mid-sentence when he realised his cell phone was ringing. Most people called him on the landline at Truncheon, he never gave out his cell number unless he really had to. Luke had it, but didn’t use it much, especially not this late. That only really left...

“Rory?” he said, as he answered her call. “You okay?”

“Better than okay,” she practically squealed in his ear. “Oh my God, Jess, I got the job!”

“Wow, congratulations,” he told her, grinning as wide as he suspected she was. “Rory, I knew you’d get it. I just knew.”

“I know that you did. Mom and Luke too. It was just me that had trouble really believing it. It’s my dream, Jess, it has been for so long, and I just... I can hardly believe it even now!”

“Well, I think you better start, Miss New York Times Employee,” he told her, smiling still.

“You have no idea how much I wish you were here to celebrate with me. Mom and Luke want to take me out this weekend, and Grandma and Grandpa are having us over for dinner so they can celebrate with us too. You’re missing out on all the fun.”

“Dinner with your grandparents? Not sure that would be fun for me,” he told her definitely.

“Jess, I can hear you making that face that only happens when I mention Emily Gilmore,” she said, laughter in her voice in the very next instant. “You know at some point you are going to have to see her again, and finally meet my grandpa too. You and me are for the long haul, mister, that means you’ll be part of the family.”

Jess couldn’t answer for a few moments. As much as he knew he was committed to Rory and wanted it to be forever this time, he still got a kick out of hearing her say stuff like that, that they were for the long haul, that he was going to be part of her family.

“Jess?”

“I’m here,” he promised her. “Just kind of reeling from the news. I’m so happy for you, Ror, and for what it’s worth, I wish I could celebrate with you too, but we’ll make it happen. There’s no way I can make it over there again this weekend, but we’ll figure something out, I promise.”

“I love you so much, Jess,” she told him then. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” he assured her. “I love you too, and I’m so, so proud of you right now.”


	23. Chapter 23

“It’s just weird not to hear from him in so long,” Rory complained with a heavy sigh. “I emailed last, it was definitely his turn. Yes, we talked on the phone, but not for that long, and it was me that made the call too.”

“C’mon, Gilmore, it’s been, what? Four days?” Paris rolled her eyes.

“Almost five, actually,” Rory muttered, leaning back on the counter. “It’s just not like him.”

“The man has a job and he knows you’ve been going through finals and preparing for graduation,” said Paris crossly. “If you’re so worried about it, you could call him, but personally, I’d just wait it out. Jess Mariano may be the man for you, he may have grown up a lot since I last saw him, but he is still a guy. They’re not perfect.”

Rory winced at the sound of pots and pans clattering loudly into the sink.

“Did you fight with Doyle again?”

Paris didn’t answer at first but she stopped throwing things around. Eventually she turned to face Rory, as close to tears as she had seen her in a long time.

“The fool asked me to marry him. I mean, what is that about? I’m going to grad school, he knows this. I don’t have time to fit in a wedding, and kids sure as hell aren’t in the plan, not any time soon.”

“Did Doyle say he wanted to get married and have kids right away?” Rory checked. “I mean, getting engaged is big but... well, people have long engagements,” she said carefully. “Maybe he’s just trying to show you how much he loves you, to prove that he’s committed. You were a little crazy about factoring him into your decision. I think Doyle just wants you to know that whatever you want to do, he wants to be with you.”

Rory couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips even as Paris continued to look kind of upset. She had suspected Doyle might propose, she had said as much to Jess last time she emailed. Of course, thinking of that reminded her of the fact he had yet to answer that message or call her or anything. Five whole days.

A knock on the door startled her from her thoughts. Clearly, Paris wasn’t going to answer it, so Rory went herself. She hadn’t quite made it when her friend yelled to her.

“If that’s him, I’m not here!”

Rory rolled her eyes and opened the door, stunned by the sight of the person on the other side.

“It’s not him!” she yelled back, a second before she threw herself into Jess’ arms.

“Wow, okay,” he said, holding her tight. “I didn’t know we were doing this every time I showed up,” he added, recalling a hotel in New York where something similar had occurred.

Rory pulled back to see his face and then planted a kiss on his lips.

“You just keep surprising me,” she said giddily. “I like it.”

“Yeah? Me too,” Jess assured her, stealing another kiss. “So, this is the apartment, huh?”

“Yup, this is it.” Rory nodded, leading him inside.

Paris had clearly grown curious and appeared very suddenly to see what was going on. There was a brief flash of a smile when she saw Jess before she made a point of rolling her eyes.

“So, he’s not dead, wounded, or secretly dumped you without telling you,” she said, looking to Rory. “Can’t say I’m shocked.”

“Paris, always a pleasure,” said Jess smoothly, not even worrying about what she might have meant with her own comments.

“It’s been a while, but time has clearly treated you well, Mariano,” she said, very obviously looking him over. “Your first book wasn’t half bad.”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling a little. “I’ll let you know when the sequel is available.”

“I’m sure you will.” Paris nodded, smirking slightly. “Well, I’ll just go to my own room, try to wrap my head around Doyle’s proposal some more. Why is the idiot doing this to me now?”

She stormed off before anyone could give an answer, the bedroom door slamming in her wake.

Jess shot Rory a questioning look.

“Doyle proposed. Paris is a little... overwhelmed.”

“Right.” Jess nodded. “So, I’m sorry for the radio silence the last few days.”  
“In light of this surprise visit, I think I can forgive you.”

“That’s good, because I didn’t just come here to celebrate your new job.”

Rory’s smile turned more towards a frown when she heard that. Jess showing up out of the blue, again, was wonderful, and it did make her not worry so much about why he hadn’t emailed or called for a while. Still, she didn’t want to hear that he was happy she was in a forgiving mood.

“Should I be concerned about the serious look on your face?” she asked worriedly.

“I don’t know,” said Jess, clearing his throat. “Probably not.”

“Jess?”

He wouldn’t even look at her now and Rory got a horrible sinking feeling about this whole conversation. This was headed a little too much into bad news territory and her amazing imagination that she would usually consider a blessing proved itself a curse as it threw up all possible negative ways this could end. Jess didn’t love her anymore, he was dumping her, he was moving to the other side of the world, he was sick and dying of some awful disease.

 

“We should sit down.”

“Yes, because that’s not adding to the panic,” Rory muttered as she led the way to her room and they sat down side by side on her bed.

“Now this really is Casa de Rory,” said Jess, nodding approvingly as his eyes scanned her bookshelves and wall art. “Not quite as good as your room back home, but it’s cool.”

“And it’s great that you love my decor, but please, Jess, just tell me what’s going on here,” said Rory, pulling on his hand until she had his full attention back. “If there has to be bad news, quick like a Band Aid is the best way.”

“There’s bad news?” Jess frowned.

“Um, well, yeah.” Rory shook her head. “You went all serious out there, you’re making a big deal about telling me something but you don’t seem to actually want to say the words, you wanted me to sit-”

“And that all makes it seem like it’s bad news.” Jess nodded, suddenly getting it. “Huh. Sorry about that, wasn’t the plan,” he assured her. “Potentially, I actually have really great news, but it’s kind of one of those subjective things.”

“Okay, bad, good, great, whatever, just please, tell me already,” Rory urged him.

“Okay.” Jess nodded once. “So, things at Truncheon are going well, really well actually. So good that we’ve been talking about investment and expansion, you know, big grown up business stuff that should be scary, but I think we can handle it.”

“Well, that is good news, right?” Rory checked.

“It is,” Jess agreed, clearing his throat some more and shifting in place on the bed. “So, we were all talking about possible new projects, new directions, new locations, and I may have pitched the idea of New York.”

“New York?”

“As a location for a satellite office of Truncheon Books.”

Rory blinked at Jess. As well as he knew her, he actually wasn’t absolutely sure if the look on her face was mild confusion as to what he meant to say or just complete surprise at the news.

“Could you say something?” he urged her then. “It’s too weird when you don’t talk for this long.”

“I... Um, are you saying that you would be in New York?” Rory checked.

“I’m saying that could be the plan, if you think maybe you would want a room-mate?”

At that Rory’s eyes got ever wider, and then she was wearing a smile to match and literally throwing herself on top of Jess, kissing him like her life depended on it. Jess didn’t mind that reaction at all and was happy to let Rory go just as far as she wanted to in seducing him, until he rolled them both over and his eyes caught on the open door.

“Uh, you wanna do something about that, just in case Paris wanders by?” he checked, smirking wickedly. “I mean, I’m not ashamed of anything but I don’t wanna throw her off when she’s this close to being engaged.”

Rory laughed at that but nevertheless got up to close the door, going so far as to lock it too, just in case. She turned and stood with her back against the door, just grinning at Jess waiting on the bed for her.

“We’re going to New York. Together,” she said, still in awe of the fact apparently. “Jess, we’re going to be living together in New York!”

“Are you trying to find every possible way you can say those words in a sentence?” he checked, smirking still.

“Maybe,” Rory admitted, walking forward and throwing her arms around his neck when she reached him. “Jess, are you sure about this?”

“About you? Always,” he promised, moving to kiss her, but she evaded.

“Which is great, but not what I meant. I mean, I love the idea of us living together in New York, and I’m thrilled for you and the guys if Truncheon is doing so well, but is New York the right place for your business? Did you just choose it because of me?”

“Rory.” Jess sighed, pulling her closer until she climbed onto the bed with him again. “Look, Chris and Matthew brought up the idea of additional locations, not me. Did I pitch New York because you’d be there? In part, yes,” he admitted, “but the truth is it would be a good fit for Truncheon. Plus, a lot of the stuff I do can be done from anywhere. My own writing, editing transcripts for other authors, all I really need is a computer, a modem, a phone line, and I’m set. It’s a legitimate business move that just happens to fit in really, really well with what’s happening with you, with us,” he explained, one hand moving Rory’s hair back over her shoulder. “This way I get to continue doing what I love, in a city that I love, with the woman that I love. It doesn’t get better than that,” he told her, meeting her eyes.

“You’re pretty amazing, Jess Mariano,” said Rory, smiling across at him. “And I love you so, so much. You know that, right?”

“I don’t know, maybe you could come over here and make it clearer for me,” he said, smile turning back into a smirk as he pulled her down on top of him.

Rory fell more than willingly into the moment.

* * *

“So, long story, short-”

“Which is not something you usually hear my daughter say,” said Lorelai, smirking at Rory, who stuck out her tongue in response.

“Jess and I will both be moving to New York this summer and living together, like a real couple, and honestly, I could not be happier.”

“That is great,” said Luke, nodding his head. “Seriously, that is the best news.”

“I think so,” Jess agreed with a genuine smile. “Of course, I wasn’t so sure that _everybody_ would be thrilled,” he said, glancing sideways along the couch at Lorelai.

“Hey, come on!” she gasped as if shocked and pained by the accusation. “I told you weeks ago that I was cool with the whole you and Rory thing this time around. Don’t make me change my mind, hoodlum.”

Jess just laughed, he couldn’t help it.

“You think these two will ever just get along?” asked Luke from the armchair, gesturing from his girlfriend to his nephew and back.

“Doesn’t seem likely.” Rory shook her head from in between the two. “But we can live in hope. The craziest things can work out if you wish hard enough,” she said, smiling wide.

“Yes, they can,” Luke agreed, looking at Lorelai with all the affection he possessed.

She looked back at him with a real smile, reaching for his hand and grabbing on tight.

Jess watched the two of them and couldn’t help but feel good about what he saw. Luke and Lorelai belonged, equally as much as he and Rory did. There was a time when he blamed himself for getting in the way of whatever might be simmering between his uncle and Rory’s mom, but in the end, they managed to blow themselves apart without his help. It felt right to see them back together now. It was how it was always supposed to be.

“Okay,” said Lorelai very suddenly. “So, this all calls for a real celebration. Let’s go out.”

“Out? Out where?” asked Rory, frowning some. “It’s late.”

“Late?” her mom echoed. “Come on, it’s a Saturday night and you’re in college, at least for a little while longer. This is not late, this is prime time for drinking and dancing and boogie-oogie-oogieing until you just can’t boogie no more!” she declared, leaping up from the couch and pulling Luke to his feet more out of momentum and surprise than anything else.

“I think she’s serious,” said Jess, getting Rory’s attention. “You did say you wanted to celebrate, right?”

“Well, yeah.” Rory nodded. “So, we’re going... to a bar?” she asked, looking from Jess to Lorelai.

“Yes, to a bar!” Lorelai yelled like a battle cry, raising her hand in the air, and Luke’s too, since she was still holding onto it yet.

“And this is _before_ she starts drinking,” he noted, with a significant look at Rory and Jess.

All they could do was laugh, which pretty much set the mood for the rest of a really fun night.


	24. Chapter 24

This time around, Jess actually felt like he was prepared for what being committed to Rory Gilmore truly entailed. At seventeen he had been incredibly naïve for a street-wise kid, assuming (very wrongly) that it didn’t matter if Lorelai hated him or the Gilmore Elders thought he was unworthy. If these people mattered to Rory, they had to matter to him too. It was why Jess was glad to be getting along so well with Lorelai this time around, not just for Rory’s sake, but for Luke’s too at this point.

“I appreciate you doing this, you know? I know you’re doing it more for Luke than for me, but-”

“I’m doing it for you too,” Jess assured Lorelai as he piled the last of the heavy boxes into the store cupboard at the inn. “That surprises you?” he asked then, smirking hard.

“No,” Lorelai said quickly, “or yes,” she amended off his look of disbelief. “C’mon, Jess, I’m trying here, but you gotta admit, you were not the best kid for quite a while there. Now, I’m not saying I don’t believe you’ve changed, because I absolutely do, but it takes a little getting used to.”

“For me too sometimes,” Jess admitted, brushing dust off his hands. “If nothing else, being back in the Hollow kind of makes me itch to do something stupid and reckless, but what I can guarantee is that I would never do anything to hurt Rory, not again.”

“And you’re not really a kid anymore,” Lorelai noted, nodding her head. “I’ll get used to it, I promise, and again, I appreciate the help.”

“Not a problem,” Jess assured her. “For what it’s worth, I get that it’s weird for you. I screwed up before, a lot, and I hurt the person you love most in the world.”

“You did,” Lorelai agreed, “but I also know that I hurt one of the people you love most in the world too,” she admitted, meeting his eyes. “Luke is the best guy and even though he didn’t handle things well with April and everything, I know I put the nail in the coffin with Christopher,” she said, a hand at her chest. “You’re man enough not to hold that against me. Maybe you grew up better than I did.”

“Are you kidding me?” asked Jess, eyes widening at the thought. “Lorelai, you have to know that, no matter how much I failed at being a decent person to you and Rory and everyone way back when, I always thought what you did, having Rory so young and raising her alone, that was amazing,” he explained, not caring how he shocked her. “You’ve met Liz, she couldn’t handle anything, not a single damn thing by herself. I had so many step-fathers and ‘uncles’ that I lost count. My life was a mess because of her and I needed a lot of help to turn that around. What you did with Rory, that’s incredible to me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, well, I’m sorry for the attitude I gave you that first day we met. It took me a long time to realise that... that I was mostly just mad at you for being the kind of mom that I never had.”

“Wow,” said Lorelai, tears in her eyes that she didn’t know what to do with. “Um, okay. Apology accepted, I guess? But seriously, Jess, neither me nor Luke really knew what we were doing when teenage you first got here. I had no clue about the crap you had been through, so I probably wasn’t exactly giving great advice anyway.”

“Nobody’s perfect.” Jess shrugged. “At least you tried.”

Lorelai smiled at that, swallowing hard before she said something dumb or even actually started crying. It was so weird to feel like she could get along with Jess Mariano, not that she hated the idea, it was just strange yet.

“Look at us, doing the bonding thing,” she said, forcing a laugh then. “Who woulda thought, huh?”

“Pretty sure Saturday night was a bonding experience all of its own,” Jess noted, referring to their night out together with Luke and Rory in which a few too many drinks may have been imbibed. “Nothing can ever erase the image of you and Rory up on that stage-”

“Hey, we never speak of that,” Lorelai warned him, smacking him in the shoulder and trying to wear a serious look, but it wouldn’t quite stick. “I still don’t know what possessed me.”

“Pretty sure it was the daiquiris.” Jess smirked. “Seriously though, it was... not awful. I mean, come on, how many guys can say they were in a bar with their uncle being serenaded by their girlfriend and her mom. Also, ‘I Will Always Love You’? Classic choice.”

“Oh, please. Tell me you did not!” said Michel, suddenly seeming to appear as if from nowhere. “Drunken karaoke is so unseemly, Lorelai.”

“And on that note...” said Jess, heading for the door.

As amusing as all of this was, he had somewhere else he would rather be.

* * *

“You are just the king of nice surprises lately,” said Rory, sighing contently as she curled up in Jess’ arms, her head on his chest. “And really incredible timing too. How’d you know we’d have the apartment to ourselves?”

“That part was more luck than judgement,” he admitted, kissing her temple and pulling the covers a little higher over the both of them. “What can I say? You’re kind of irresistible, and since you’re actually within driving distance right now, I would be crazy to stay away, wouldn’t I?”

“I think you would,” Rory agreed, grinning up at him then. “Just think, there won’t be any driving distance at all before too long. I can’t believe we’re going to be living together.”

“Well, believe it because it’s true,” Jess advised. “What I’m having trouble with is the fact that Paris Geller is engaged to be married,” he admitted, shaking his head. “How has the world not imploded?”

“She’s not so bad,” Rory told him, “and I happen to think that she and Doyle make the cutest couple.”

“Just darling.” Jess earned himself a smack in the chest for that comment and moreover the smirk he was wearing when he made it. “Oh, come on,” he said, unable to keep from laughing. “You really don’t think it’s truly incredible that Paris found the love of her life? That she is in fact the love of somebody else’s life?”

“There’s someone in the world for everybody.” Rory shrugged. “Even the book-stealing, chalk-outline-drawing, basket-bidding hoodlums of the world,” she said with a look.

“Wow, somebody’s nostalgic today,” said Jess, smiling down at her. “Did you talk to your mom about me?”

“No, why?”

“It’s nothing, just that she and I had a talk when I was helping her with the supplies for the inn.” Jess shook his head. “We kind of did a mutual apology thing for the way things went when we first met.”

“Ah, your _Breakfast Club_ audition.” Rory nodded. “Yeah, she’s mentioned that conversation before. You apologised?”

“Both of us,” Jess told her honestly. “I think we turned a corner.”

Rory grinned big. “You know, I always thought that if you and my mom could just start over, you’d find that you really could get along. You actually have a lot in common. I mean, you both worshipped Joe Strummer, you both think my love of Indian food means I’m crazy, you both love Luke-”

“We both love you,” Jess cut in.

“Also, true,” Rory agreed, ducking her head, “and by that logic, you should also be able to find a way to get along with my grandparents...”

She trailed off moments before she both felt and heard Jess groan. When Rory glanced up, she found he had his hand over his eyes as if he was getting a headache.

“Did you have to bring that up now?” he complained. “I really, really do not want to think about dinner with Emily and Richard, especially not now.”

“Well, you’re going to have to think about it sooner or later, we’re going there tomorrow,” Rory reminded him. “And I promise you, it really won’t be that bad. We are way past the night of the black eye fight, in fact, Grandma probably doesn’t even remember it at all.”

“You wanna bet on that?” Jess checked, peeking at her from behind his hand.

“Well... no,” she admitted, squirming a little, “but Miss Manners probably won’t let her mention it, and Grandpa is actually really looking forward to talking literature with you, he told me that himself.”

“That part I don’t mind so much,” Jess admitted, finally lowering his hand from his face and gently moving Rory’s hair back over her shoulder. “Still, don’t expect miracles, okay? I know Lorelai is cool with me now but your grandparents are a whole other level. They don’t even like Luke all that much.”

“They like him enough,” Rory insisted. “And no offence to Luke because you know I love him, but he’s a little blue collar for the Gilmores taste. You’re an author and a publisher. That’s right up there on their spectrum of understanding and impressiveness, mister.”

Jess smiled because Rory was smiling, because he wanted her to be happy and confident about this whole situation. The truth remained, however, that Jess was not expecting miracles. It would be great if Richard and Emily welcomed him with open arms, but he was more than prepared for the complete opposite reaction too and would definitely be on his guard. He found it safer to always be ready for anything, if he possibly could.

* * *

“It is a truly remarkable thing. I absolutely could not put it down,” said Richard, smiling widely at Jess yet. “You have genuine talent, young man.”

“Thank you, sir.” He nodded once. “That means a lot coming from you.”

“Oh, well, I’m no expert, not really.” Richard shook his head. “Just a humble reader, like so many millions of others, but I like to think I have reasonable taste in good literature.”

“You’re praising my book, I’m not about to argue with you on that,” said Jess, looking from Rory’s grandpa to her and catching her smiling.

It clearly pleased her a lot to see two people she loved so much getting along so well, and Jess had to admit, he didn’t hate it either. This visit to Hartford sure was going better than the last. Emily still wasn’t enamoured with Jess at all, and despite what Rory said about her grandma probably not even remembering the last time she met him, her first comment had been, ‘You look so different without the black eye.’ She definitely had no time for Jess, or for Luke, but kept her snide remarks (if not her scathing looks) to herself throughout dinner. Richard, on the other hand, could not say enough good things about Jess’ writing or be more interested in his future plans.

“Are you looking to expand at all?” he asked over dessert.

“Actually, yes,” Jess admitted, casting his eyes at Rory.

He didn’t know how much to say here. If he mentioned going to New York, he was sort of committing them to an announcement that he wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to make, and that he really didn’t want to make for her.

“Um, Truncheon Books is branching out, Grandpa,” she said, clearing her throat before she could go on. “In fact, they’re going to open up a place in New York and Jess is going to move there.”

“To New York?” asked Emily, glaring some as she looked from Rory to Jess. “How... convenient.”

“Isn’t it though?” Lorelai chimed in. “The timing is just perfect.”

“Yes, it really is,” Rory agreed. “Since I would probably be needing a room-mate in the city anyway.”

“A room-mate?” Richard echoed, almost as if he didn’t understand, though the look on his face led Jess to believe he actually understood all too well.

“Rory and I were planning on getting a place together,” he said, making himself sit upright in his chair and meet Richard’s eyes.

He couldn’t see why the guy might argue the point. After all, from what Jess knew about it, Rory lived with Logan before and her grandparents were well aware of that. Surely, they had to feel better knowing their beloved granddaughter wasn’t alone in the big city or living with a stranger. That ought to earn Jess some points if nothing else.

“Oh, what a relief!” Richard suddenly exhaled. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that, Jess.”

“Really?” he checked, almost willing to pinch himself just to make sure this wasn’t some weird dream.

“Oh, indeed. Why, Emily and I were only saying just yesterday that we were very uncomfortable with Rory living alone in New York.”

“I know you’re very independent, Rory, but you hear such awful stories,” her grandmother told her worriedly. “Some parts of the city, they’re just not safe, especially for a young woman alone.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure Rory could’ve handled it actually,” said Lorelai, forever in ‘sisters doing it for themselves’ mode, “but now you can all rest easy because Jess will be right there with her, and you know, he knows New York really well. He lived there, what? Most of your life, right?”

“A big part of it, yeah.” Jess nodded his head.

“And if anybody is qualified in caring about Rory and making sure she is safe, that would be Jess,” said Luke definitely.

He barely looked up from his plate, so he missed the looks of surprise he got from more than one person around the table.

“Thanks, Uncle Luke,” said Jess in a low voice when no-one else was paying any mind.

“I only speak the truth, nephew,” he replied with a hint of a smile that Jess returned.

“Now, Jess, tell me,” said Richard then, demanding his attention once again, “have you ever read the Mencken Chrestomathy?”


	25. Chapter 25

“There was supposed to be more time!” Rory exclaimed, not for the first time since the phone call had come in one week before. “Oh, God, this is the first day of college all over again!”

“Sweetie, breathe,” Lorelai urged her. “Okay, yes, I am seeing the similarities, unfortunately, but even so, we figured it out then and we can deal again now.”

It was kind of a crazy replay of the end of summer 2003, when Lorelai and Rory returned from Europe to find that instead of having a whole week to prep for Yale, they had only a couple of days. On this occasion, the shock was actually bigger and the plans to be crammed into a short space of time even more insane.

Originally, Rory had thought her start date at the Times would be in August, since that was what they told her, but it turned out the person she was replacing had to leave earlier than originally expected. Suddenly, they were asking if she could be available in just two weeks, in New York, ready to work. Rory had kind of a meltdown about it, then her life went into overdrive, and all the people she loved went with it!

Jess certainly wasn’t any more ready to up and leave than Rory had been, but he did handle the sudden shift much better.

“Years of Liz and her constant need to leave places at a moment’s notice finally pays off,” he said of the situation, promptly making fast plans for a quick exit out of Philly.

Luke and Lorelai said they would lend a hand in any way they could and both Rory and Jess were grateful for it, even if they were a little skittish about accepting the money they offered. It happened separately, out of necessity. Jess had to go back to Philadelphia to work and make arrangements, and Rory was busy with graduation plans and packing up her apartment. Luke called his nephew while Lorelai sat her daughter down and they made their offer to pay the deposit and first month’s rent on whatever apartment the kids found in NYC. Both Rory and Jess thanked their respective family members and then got straight on the phone to each other.

“Can we do that?” she asked, biting her lip. “I mean, it would help. A lot.”

“I guess it’d be pretty rude to not accept a gift like that,” he considered.

It didn’t take long for them to decide they probably could and should take the help when it was being offered. They arranged to tell Lorelai and Luke their answer together two days later when Jess came back to the Hollow, chiefly for Rory’s graduation, but to, hopefully, also hit New York and find themselves an apartment.

“How did I end up with this much stuff? I think you spoiled me,” Rory declared, opening another dresser drawer and staring in at the contents in despair.

“Yes, it is all my fault that you have so many socks, CDs, hair clips, and... what is this?” asked Lorelai, pulling the offending item out by what might have been an arm, though she couldn’t be sure.

Rory frowned as she stared at it a moment and then laughed. “That’s Lane’s David Bowie doll. Wow, I hid that for her when we were maybe ten? I guess he’s suffered a lot, stuffed in the junk drawer.”

“You girls really should’ve shown him some respect,” said Lorelai, straightening out the doll as best she could and rubbing a thumb over the scuff marks on his face. “I can’t even tell if he’s Ziggy or the Duke.”

“Well, he doesn’t have the hair for Jareth the Goblin King, that’s all I know for sure.” Rory shrugged, pulling more trinkets and happy memories, as well as a healthy supply of junk, from the back of the bottom drawer.

It was how Jess found her a short while later.

“Do you know how weird it is when the door opens and a mangled David Bowie doll is immediately shoved in your face?”

“Things you say when greeted by Lorelai Gilmore,” said Rory, like a triumphant Jeopardy winner.

Jess smirked from his place leaned in her bedroom doorway. “Having fun?”

“It’s a nostalgia trip,” she admitted, scrambling up from the floor to greet him with a kiss. “I never knew I had so much stuff.”

“It’s a lot.” Jess nodded, noting the boxes and bags, as well as piles of things all over the carpet. “Pretty sure our books alone could take up the entirety of any shoebox we can afford in the city, but that’s why it’s pretty cool of your mom and the guys at Truncheon to let us keep the non-essentials where we used to live.”

“Amen to that,” Rory agreed from the circle of his arms. “It still messes with my head when I think that in a couple of weeks we’ll be living in New York, together, that I’ll be a real-life member of The New York Times staff, and every night I get to come home to you.”

“Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?” Jess smiled just thinking about it.

“It really, really does.” Rory grinned too. “Of course, first we have to find an apartment to actually live in... and I have to finish going through everything I own.” She turned to look back at the carnage in her room and sighed.

“We’ll get there,” Jess promised her, urging her to look at him again. “Come on, after everything else that we’ve already accomplished between us, this should be easy.”

The smile was back on Rory’s lips then and he was more than glad to see it.

“Ooh, I have other great news too,” she remembered then. “So, it turns out Yale is pretty much stuck on every student only having four tickets for guests at the graduation ceremony. If you want extras you have to ask way back in September and probably be sleeping with someone in the administration.”

“And this is good news because you’re secretly having an affair with the provost?” asked Jess, smirking more than a little.

“How do you even know that word?” asked Rory, shaking her head. “Never mind. Obviously, I could not get extra tickets, either the proper way or by way of subterfuge,” she continued to explain, “but when I was telling Paris my tragic tale of woe and how I really need at least five tickets, suddenly she had this flash of divine inspiration or something and she gave me her spares!”

“Paris did that?” Jess checked, wide-eyed with shock.

“Yeah, she just handed them over,” Rory nodded, grinning wide. “Apparently, she has no desire for her parents to come along, and it’d pretty much be a miracle if they showed anyway, so all she needed was one ticket for Doyle and one for her Portuguese nanny. The others were available so she just gave them to me, and she hugged me too. I actually think the whole engagement thing is really good for her.”

“So, now you have six tickets?”

“I do, for Mom, Luke, you, my grandparents, and... well, I thought seeing as I had an extra, and he did pay for at least some of Yale, I should probably invite my dad.”

The way she squirmed when she said it made Jess frown. “You think I’m going to make a big deal about you inviting your own father to your graduation?”

“I don’t know.” Rory shrugged. “I know you guys never officially met but I figured you wouldn’t like him much. He hasn’t always treated me or mom so well, and he’s a part of the reason why Luke got so hurt-”

“Rory,” Jess cut in when the rambling started to go into overdrive. “It’s cool, okay?” he promised her, his hand at her cheek. “He’s your dad and you love him, he should absolutely be at your graduation, and if that meant that I couldn’t go-”

“But you can go,” Rory cut in this time. “You are going. Jess, I want you there. I want everybody to be there when I finally graduate Yale.”

“Then we will be there,” he promised her, holding her face in his hands. “Me and Luke, your parents, and your grandparents, all right there, fighting over who gets to be most proud of knowing and loving Rory Gilmore.”

“Sometimes you just say all the right things.” Rory sighed happily, right before they kissed, there in the middle of the destruction that was her childhood bedroom.

* * *

“So, how does it feel, kid?” Lorelai asked as they climbed into the car to come home.

“A little strange,” Rory admitted, one hand holding onto Jess’ own, the other waving to friends out of the window yet. “In a lot of ways, it’s an ending,” she said, glancing back at the school buildings, “but in others, it’s a great new beginning,” she added, turning to gaze at her boyfriend beside her.

“You looked amazing up there,” he told her, squeezing her hand. “I can’t believe I’m dating a Yale graduate.”

“I can’t believe we all sat in that row for an hour and nobody got seriously hurt,” said Luke from the driver’s seat.

“That is a little miraculous,” Lorelai had to agree.

They really only achieved the lack of bloodshed by some very careful manoeuvring. Chris was placed on one end of the six, next to Emily who was the one person in the group who actually still liked him a little bit. Richard was next to her, then Jess, who played buffer between him and Lorelai and Luke. Thankfully, they made it through the ceremony without incident, and now, Rory’s time at Yale was officially concluded. It was time to get on with the rest of their lives.

“Saying goodbye here was actually the easy part,” she said thoughtfully, watching the last of Yale’s grounds disappear from view. “Saying goodbye in Stars Hollow tomorrow is going to be so much harder.”

“You’re not going to be so far away,” Luke reminded her, taking one hand off the wheel to grab a hold of Lorelai’s hand too, since he sensed she was going to cry again. “We’ll come visit you and you’ll come see us. It’ll be great.”

“Yes, it will,” Jess agreed, putting his arm around Rory to pull her closer, kissing her hair when her head landed on his shoulder. “Trust me, crazy as it sounds, I know what it is to miss home, but we can handle it, I promise.”

“I know we can,” Rory agreed, swallowing hard. “And I am so excited about New York, and The Times, and starting a new life with you,” she said, peering up at Jess.

“Well then, that makes two of us,” he said, dropping a kiss on her lips.

* * *

A clattering sound woke Jess with a start and he sat up very quickly in the bed, taking a moment to remember where he was and why. Rory’s room barely looked as if it belonged to her anymore. Most of her stuff was packed into boxes, cases, and bags, and even a bunch of the furniture, like the bookshelves and the desk, were gone. Pushing his hair back from his forehead, Jess surveyed the bare surroundings then spotted Rory herself with a tray in her hands, the cups and plates on it all askew.

“Sorry,” she said, wincing yet. “This wasn’t exactly how I planned on waking you up.”

“Oh yeah?” asked Jess, rubbing his eyes as she came closer to the bed and set the tray down.

“It was supposed to be more like this,” she explained, leaning over to plant a good long kiss on his lips. “Good morning,” she said when she finally pulled away.

“It is now.” Jess sighed. “So, you made breakfast?” he asked, no lack of cynicism or fear in his tone.

“Luke made breakfast,” Rory confirmed. “I just carried breakfast, badly apparently.”

She handed Jess his tea and took her own coffee cup in her hands drinking deeply.

“It’s so weird to think this is our last morning waking up in the Hollow. By tonight, we’ll officially be New Yorkers.”

“Hey, I have always been a New Yorker,” Jess said definitely.

Rory giggled. “Come on, you are so a Stars Hollowian too. You know you are!”

“I am _not_ admitting that,” said Jess, grabbing a piece of toast and shoving it in his mouth before she could try and make him, which she probably would.

The truth was, Jess didn’t hate the place. Stars Hollow was where he met Rory, and she wouldn’t be her without the crazy little town that helped raise her. Honestly, the people of the Hollow had helped Jess to become who he was too, Luke most of all. It didn’t exactly thrill him to be associated with all of the people who roamed the streets of the quaint little town that Rory had always called home, but Jess had to admit, there would always be some things about the place that made him think of it fondly, no matter what.

“So, how early are we leaving?” he asked Rory as she climbed back into bed beside him and they both set about eating their eggs. “I’m pretty sure it’ll take a while to pack everything up and then there’s all the goodbyes that you saved for today, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s just Sookie, Jackson, and the kids, Lane, Zach, and the twins, and then Luke and Mom. I got to everybody else yesterday.”

Jess nodded that he knew that, unwilling to actually comment. He knew how tough this was for Rory, leaving everybody behind that she loved. It had always come so easy to him, to just up and go at a moment’s notice. He never really missed anyone, not until Rory, and Luke too, if he was honest. He still couldn’t understand what it must feel like to have a home in the way Rory did, to feel like you would miss a whole town that much.

A rapping on the door got their attention then and both Rory and Jess looked up to see Lorelai stepping into the bedroom, her hand clamped firmly over her eyes.

“Is it safe? Should I just close the door and pretend this never happened?”

“Mom, it’s fine. You can look,” said Rory, laughing through her words.

Lorelai peeked between her fingers, realised nothing worse than a little of Jess’ bare chest was on display, and sighed with relief as she let her hand drop to her side.

“Okay, so are you guys gonna be ready soon, because we should really be moving. Let’s go, go, go!” she said, clapping her hands frantically.

“It’s barely eight o’clock,” Rory noted. “You’re never this awake so early on a Sunday. Even on my last day, I figured you’d need at least a couple more hours to sleep in.”

“Not today, loin-fruit,” said Lorelai, smiling widely. “As you said, this is your last day, and that means things are happening. So, up, up, up. Rise, shine, greet the day. We’ve got a diem to be... carping? Carpeing?” she tried, frowning at Jess. “You’re the author, what am I trying to say here?”

“That we should get out lazy asses out of bed?”

Lorelai considered it then nodded her head. “That’ll work. Let’s go!” she cried happily before rushing from the room.

Rory and Jess shared a look that was as amused as it was baffled but still did as they were told and got up, ready to face the day. Within a half hour, Lorelai had them in the car, though she wouldn’t tell either of them where they were headed.

“Did Luke leave before us?” Rory asked, fastening her seat-belt.

It was no secret that Lorelai had her boyfriend stay over at the house last night too, especially since he had been the one to make breakfast this morning, and yet, Luke seemed to have disappeared somewhere between cooking the eggs and now.

“He had things to do,” Lorelai said mysteriously. “Now, no more questions, let Mommy concentrate on the driving.”

Rory said no more, just leaned in close to Jess and watched the usual scenes go past her window, except the more Rory looked, the more they didn’t seem usual at all. It was as if nobody else in Stars Hollow was even awake yet. She didn’t see Babette and Maury on the front porch, or Kirk on his way to whichever job he was working today, or any of the people she would’ve expected. 

“Where is everybody?” asked Jess, almost as if he read her mind.

Rory opened her mouth to tell him she was just thinking that exact thing when Lorelai turned the car into the town square and the answer was revealed.

“Oh my God!”

“Huh,” said Jess almost at the same time as Rory gasped.

The whole town was packed into the square, underneath banners that proclaimed ‘Bon Voyage, Rory,’ and then in smaller writing underneath, ‘and Jess.’

So much for saying her goodbyes yesterday, it seemed that had been a waste of time. Everybody who was anybody had turned out to wish Rory well before she moved out of her home town and headed into the future with Jess. The crying started before she even managed to exit the car, but at least they were happy tears.

* * *

“Good thing I don’t have a problem with driving in the dark,” said Jess when he and Rory finally set about leaving for New York.

So much for getting an early start, the party in mostly Rory’s honour had gone on for most of the day, with food, dancing, speeches, the full works, as everybody in Stars Hollow, plus Rory’s grandparents, gave the town princess the send-off that she truly deserved. Actually, even Jess had got more than a few kind words and handshakes, and that part he really hadn’t been expecting.

“It’s not so late,” said Rory, putting her last bag into the back seat, “and besides, it was totally worth it, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jess admitted, pulling her into his arms. “That everything?” he checked, head tilting towards the overstuffed car.

“That’s everything,” she confirmed. “All done.”

She turned to glance up at the house a moment, blinking fast when her gaze returned to Jess’ face.

“Hey, we’re not shipping off to ‘Nam,” he reminded her, wiping a stray tear from her cheek the moment it put in an appearance. “We’ll come visit, a lot. Come on, we made this thing work with us when I was in Philly and you were here. If we can do that, we can do anything.”

Rory nodded and sniffed hard to keep the crying at bay. “At least I feel better knowing we’re not leaving either of them alone,” she said, looking across at Luke and Lorelai as they approached, hand in hand, down the driveway.

“Yeah, that doesn’t suck,” Jess admitted, smiling at the very same sight.

“So, this is it,” said Lorelai as she reached them. “My little girl is officially leaving home.”

“Seems that way.” Rory nodded, slipping out of Jess’ embrace to hug her mother tightly.

Jess and Luke watched them a moment then looked at each other instead.

“Take care of yourself, nephew, and if you need anything, you know you can call, any time.”

Jess nodded his head then pushed forward and went for the hug. “Thanks, Uncle Luke,” he said softly, getting a pat on the back for his trouble.

“Bye, Luke,” said Rory, moving to hug him next.

Lorelai and Jess eyed each other warily for a second, then she rolled her eyes and sighed. “Oh, what the hell!” she declared, reaching to pull Jess into a big hug too.

“Take care of yourself, _Aunt_ Lorelai,” he said with a wicked smirk as they parted.

“You too, hoodlum,” she countered, daring to ruffle his hair.

Jess only smiled and turned to look at Rory. “You ready?”

“Uh-huh.” She nodded, clearly about to bawl in a big way.

Moving around to the driver’s side, Jess got in the car, unsurprised to see Rory hugging her mom one more time before she finally joined him. Seat-belts duly fastened, radio flipped on, Jess put the car into gear and pulled off the driveway, while Rory waved to Lorelai and Luke, standing on the porch steps now with their arms around each other.

“I swear at least some of these are happy tears.” Rory laughed and cried at the same time as Jess drove them out of town.

“That’s good to know,” he said, spotting the ‘You Are Now Leaving Stars Hollow’ sign and feeling strangely nostalgic as they passed it. “You know that thing is a lot less painful to go by this time than it ever has been before.”

“Why?” asked Rory, wiping her face with her hands now that the tears were subsiding.

“You know why,” Jess told her, glancing from the road to meet her eyes for a moment. “Every time I left before, it was like... like I was leaving a piece of me behind. It’s nice, not to feel that way anymore.”

Rory’s hand found his when he reached for the gearshift and squeezed.

“We finally fixed everything,” she said with a smile as bright as the setting sun. “Now, let’s go home.”


End file.
